Chapter 96

'Any word on the A39 Medical Team yet?'

'Not yet.' Song Yuke took off his headset. 'They've probably entered a no-signal zone.'

Lu Heyang's brow creased slightly. 'Notify me the moment there's any progress.'

'Understood.'

As for why Lu Heyang should be paying particular attention to a medical team from the Western Theater Command, Song Yuke had a fair idea of the reason — Xu Ze was in that team. From what Song Yuke had gathered, Xu Ze had started out at the Theater Command's Central Hospital, in what was still a relatively safe zone, but as the fighting grew more severe, he had volunteered on his own initiative for the front line.

He had been at the front less than a week. The night before last, around eight o'clock, after an airstrike, the field hospital had been reduced to a stretch of rubble, and the A39 Medical Team, Xu Ze among them, had vanished from the military map. This morning, the major news channels had begun, one after another, to cover the Lost Contact Incident, and nearly all of them had mentioned the young doctoral student in the unit who had just been awarded the 'Future Doctor' honor medal.

He had barely stepped out of the command room when his mobile phone rang. The caller was He Wei. Lu Heyang picked up — but the voice that came through was Chi Jiahán's.

'Colonel.' Chi Jiahán's panic was the cold kind. 'Do you have any news about Xu Ze?'

'Not yet.'

After a silence, Chi Jiahán said, 'Xu Ze signed the consent form for the First-Support Medical Action Team voluntarily years ago. If the war zone's medical resources fall short, he's in the first batch to be deployed.'

Chi Jiahán said, 'I used to feel he was always in a state where he'd live well enough, but if he had to die right now, that would be fine too. But now that you're back, it might be different. If you learn anything, can you tell me as soon as possible?'

'All right.' Lu Heyang agreed.

Before the call ended, Lu Heyang could still hear He Wei asking Chi Jiahán over and over, 'What's different? How is it different? What do you mean?'

He stood in place for a while. Then Lu Heyang opened his communicator and dialed Luojun.

'Heyang, what's the matter?'

'Commander, in ten minutes I'll be submitting a transfer order application to support the Western Theater Command. I'd like you to sign off on it.'

'You only just retook the assessment not long ago, and you're already itching to go again?' Luojun clicked his tongue. 'The situation in the Western Theater is serious, sure, but it's not serious enough to send a colonel like you to support them. It wouldn't be appropriate.'

'Understood. I'll go alone, as a non-public mission. It won't affect the Western Theater Command's operational arrangements.'

'I can hear it in your voice — this trip is non-negotiable, isn't it?' Luojun thought for a moment, then said, 'Handle it yourself, then. Just make sure the Base is properly arranged before you go.'

'I'll hold a meeting right away to make the handover. Thank you, Commander.'

'Be careful. Stay safe.'

At six in the evening, Lu Heyang arrived at the Western Theater Command's military headquarters — but not alone. Song Yuke was with him.

Song Yuke rarely insisted on accompanying Lu Heyang, but this time he was deeply worried about his superior's state. From the moment the news of the medical team's lost contact had reached them, Song Yuke had told Lu Heyang more than once that Xu Ze's longest previous stretch out of contact during a support mission had once reached half a month — but Lu Heyang, it seemed, had not taken in a word of it.

After entering the command center, Lu Heyang kept strictly to his promise not to interfere with the Western Theater's operational arrangements. He asked only about the A39 Medical Team — the precise location of their last disappearance, and every hospital, large or small, within a two-hundred-kilometer radius — and in the end narrowed his target to several zones where the signal had been severely damaged.

The entire command room was in a state of suspended attention, waiting for the colonel to offer his tactical opinion, but Lu Heyang, once he had taken in the situation, simply walked out. Song Yuke was a step behind and was seized by the arm.

'Hey, hold on — Xiao Song, the colonel just left like that?'

Song Yuke, hurrying to catch up with Lu Heyang, could only offer the official explanation: 'The colonel is not participating in combat deployment on this trip.'

'Then what was the point of rushing all this way overnight?'

'Mainly... for the A39 Medical Team.'

'Sending a colonel to find a medical team? You must be joking!'

Song Yuke laughed bitterly. 'I wish it were a joke, too.'

By the time he ran out of the command building, Lu Heyang was already sitting in the driver's seat of a military vehicle — no driver, no accompanying soldiers. Song Yuke asked, 'How did they agree to let you drive alone?'

Lu Heyang started the car. 'Because I told them I was just going to the cafeteria a hundred meters away.'

'Actually?'

'Finding someone.' Lu Heyang pulled up the map and marked the destination as a hospital in the nearest no-signal zone.

Driving on the battlefield was a more covert, less conspicuous way than piloting a helicopter; bringing no soldiers along, and only notifying the command post to send support after he had located the medical team, was the optimal means of conserving the war zone's manpower. Each of Lu Heyang's decisions, taken on its own, was perfectly reasonable, perfectly grounded — but strung together, they struck Song Yuke as nothing short of absurd.

Thinking back, that absurdity had been there from the start — from last year, when Lu Heyang had deliberately failed his assessment.

'Colonel.' Song Yuke raised it for the fifth time. 'Dr. Xu's longest previous stretch out of contact was half a month, and the situation then was much the same as this one. The search teams are still out looking, so—'

Lu Heyang finally reacted to the words. 'Before, I didn't know.'

Meaning: if he had known, he would have done exactly the same as he was doing now.

Song Yuke closed his mouth, opened the door, and climbed into the passenger seat. He could already picture how much Luojun would regret approving this application, once Lu Heyang's signal began to fade from the map.

Night had fallen. The car drove out past the Western Theater Command's military headquarters, out into a silent, pitch-black expanse.

'Doctor Uncle, are the noodles for Grandma?' The little girl — she barely came up to the alpha's thigh — tipped her head back to ask.

'I'll pour you a small bowl too.' Xu Ze turned sideways to keep the broth from splashing onto her.

'Thank you, Uncle!' Xiao He grabbed hold of Xu Ze's filthy white coat. 'Uncle, why didn't you sleep last night?'

'I had to stand guard. If there's any danger, I'll tell everyone.'

The airstrike two nights ago had struck while the team was out on the road, picking up the wounded. The medical vehicle had been gone only a few minutes when several fighter jets swept overhead and dropped their payload; turning back, they saw thick black smoke billowing up from the field hospital, and the only thing to do was swing around toward whatever cover they could find. The bombardment did not let up, and the signal across the entire area was destroyed. They had driven nearly half the night before finally reaching this small city.

Most of the residents had already been evacuated, leaving behind a scarred, empty town. Xu Ze's group, along with several injured citizens they had picked up along the way, entered one of the city's hospitals, cleared out a few wards, and settled the wounded there for the time being.

From downstairs came the sound of a car. Xiao He looked toward the window — though at her height she could see nothing at all. 'Are the uncles and aunties back?'

'Probably,' Xu Ze said.

It was impossible to predict how long they would remain out of contact with headquarters; over the past two days, his colleagues had been taking turns going out to gather supplies and rig up some kind of signal.

He packed the noodles into an insulated lunch box and closed the lid. Xu Ze crouched down and asked Xiao He, 'Want me to carry you?'

For some reason Xiao He was very clingy with him. She had already taken a tumble on the way up the stairs just now, and Xu Ze was worried she would fall again on the way down.

Xiao He looped her arms around Xu Ze's neck and was lifted up in one of his hands. Xu Ze took hold of the lunch box, and in the middle of Xiao He's 'plane taking off, wooooo' broadcast, turned toward the kitchen door — and the moment he raised his eyes, he suddenly saw an alpha standing at the doorframe, very tall, his face unreadable against the backlight.

He didn't need to see the face to recognize him at a glance.

'A real pilot!' Xiao He pointed at the alpha's Air Force combat uniform and cried out in delight.

Xu Ze stood where he was, holding Xiao He, without moving a muscle. Only when Lu Heyang walked up to him did he begin, slowly, to come back to himself. He opened his mouth and called him, 'Colonel.'

Lu Heyang looked at Xu Ze for a few seconds, then took the lunch box from his hand. 'Let's go.'

On the way to the ward, Xiao He lay against Xu Ze's shoulder studying Lu Heyang's profile, and finally gathered her courage to ask, 'Uncle, did you come by plane?'

'Flying a plane is too dangerous,' Lu Heyang said. 'I came on foot.'

Whether Xiao He believed it was unclear, but Xu Ze believed it on the spot. He asked at once, 'Why?'

Lu Heyang tilted his chin toward the military vehicle parked outside the hospital building, then turned to Xu Ze. 'You really can't see it?'

'...'

Xiao He's grandmother had injured her leg during the evacuation and could now only lie in bed to rest. Xu Ze helped her sit up against the headboard, handed her the bowl and chopsticks, and set up a small dining tray for Xiao He beside the bed.

In their present circumstances, seeing both a doctor and a soldier at the same time was deeply reassuring. Xiao He's grandmother asked Lu Heyang, 'Have you come to take us?'

'Yes. You'll be transferred to the Central Military Hospital soon.'

Before leaving the ward, Xu Ze looked back. The grandmother was still holding the bowl of noodles without lifting her chopsticks, only smiling as she watched Xiao He eat. After two bites, Xiao He straightened up and whispered, 'Grandma, the pilot uncle said he came on foot, but I saw the car right at the door.'

'Uncle might be joking with you.'

The window glass at the end of the corridor was coated in a thick layer of dust. Sunlight filtered in, hazy and indistinct. Xu Ze opened the window a crack.

Since that night when he had said goodbye to Lu Heyang, Xu Ze had often fallen into doubt — doubt that Lu Heyang's recovery of his memory was something he had invented in a dream. But fortunately there was evidence: the Plum Blossom in his bag, though in the end it had withered all the same.

Now it was even better. Just one look into Lu Heyang's eyes was enough to give Xu Ze the answer that set his mind at rest.

Only there were very obvious blood vessels in those eyes. Xu Ze studied Lu Heyang's face — the faint blue-black beneath his eyes, the shadow of stubble along his jaw — and thought he had never seen Lu Heyang look like this.

The whole corridor was empty, no one else around. Xu Ze stepped a little closer to Lu Heyang and reached out to touch his face. 'Have there been too many things going on lately?'

'I only did one thing. But it was a little hard, so I didn't rest well.'

'Did you solve it?'

Lu Heyang wrapped an arm around Xu Ze's waist and lowered his head to rest on his shoulder. 'Mm. It's resolved.'

There were still things he wanted to ask — whether Lu Heyang had been transferred to the Western Theater Command for support, why he hadn't brought any soldiers along, how he'd known Xu Ze was here. But Lu Heyang looked genuinely exhausted, so Xu Ze didn't press further.

'Chi Jiahán said you signed the consent form for the First-Support Medical Action Team.'

'Mm. I signed it when I graduated from undergrad.' Xu Ze guessed that Chi Jiahán must have contacted Lu Heyang out of worry for him. 'I was superstitious back then. I thought if I could save more people, maybe Grandmother would get better.'

Then he smiled, faintly: 'Although Grandmother still passed away in the end.'

Lu Heyang lifted his head and looked at him.

In the fourth year after the lung transplant, Ye Yunhua's heart began to fail. Under Huang Liling's arrangements, she was transferred to Hospital 195 for treatment. Two years later — when Xu Ze had only just finished his first year of his master's — Ye Yunhua passed away.

On the morning of her death, her spirits were unexpectedly good. She ate a great deal, talked more than usual, and kept waiting for Xu Ze to come see her. When he arrived, Ye Yunhua took his hand and said happily, 'Yuanyuan's coming to fetch me. I'm going to a good place.'

Xu Ze couldn't describe what he felt then. He only knew he must have been smiling terribly. He asked Ye Yunhua, 'Grandmother, may I hold you?'

Before Ye Yunhua could answer, Xu Ze gently embraced her. After more than ten years of illness, she had grown terribly thin — nothing in his arms but a bundle of bones that pressed uncomfortably against him, like a withered old tree. She was no longer the grandmother who, when he was small, could carry him on her back for miles.

She patted Xu Ze's back. 'Good child, you're a good child. When our little one grows up, she should be just like you.'

Already forgotten by his grandmother, and yet still loved by her. Xu Ze thought: even when her mind was no longer clear, she had kept him in her heart, and that was why she had held on so long.

Late that night, Ye Yunhua departed peacefully.

From the moment he received the death notice through the completion of Ye Yunhua's funeral, Xu Ze carried on as though nothing had happened. He did not weep until his chest split open, nor did he lose sleep or appetite. His studies and work continued without a single hitch.

About a week later, around nine in the evening, Xu Ze thought he wouldn't be able to come to the hospital the next day because of school, so he got up to wash some fruit — intending to bring it to his grandmother's room so she could eat it the next morning.

He had washed half the fruit when a pear rolled off the counter. Xu Ze turned off the tap and bent to pick it up — and in that instant, it struck him: Grandmother was gone.

Xu Ze picked up the pear, braced one hand on the washstand, and straightened. He turned the tap back on and resumed washing the fruit. Under the rush of water, tears kept sliding down to his chin, then falling onto his arm, soaking into the white coat and leaving faint, barely visible marks.

That night Xu Ze dreamed the same scene as before — the morning of second grade's first day of school. He stood alone inside the school gate, watching his father, his mother, and his grandmother smile and wave gently at him, then turn and walk toward a blinding, indistinct white light.

The moment he woke, Xu Ze believed with all his heart that there was another world — one in which his grandmother had her memory and her health back, had been reunited with the daughter she missed, and was no longer in pain, no longer alone.

'I was superstitious again when it came time to place the ashes.' Xu Ze said, 'Grandmother spent all her time in the hospital room, so I didn't want her ashes kept at the funeral home. I bought a plot at the Cemetery.'

A good plot at the Cemetery in the Capital City wasn't easy to come by — that, too, had been Huang Liling's doing.

But in those years when he had nothing, if Lu Heyang hadn't secured him the best cardiologist in the field, if Lu Heyang hadn't transferred over two million into the hospital's account, the treatment might not have gone so smoothly. In the six extra years of life his grandmother was given, Lu Heyang had been an essential figure.

Footsteps sounded. Before the figure appeared at the far end of the corridor, Xu Ze stepped back and drew his waist away from Lu Heyang's hand.

Lu Heyang glanced at him.

'Colonel!' Song Yuke ran over and greeted Xu Ze. 'Dr. Xu, I've finally found you.'

'Probably another two hours or so.' He reported to Lu Heyang, then added, 'Would you like to go back to the car and get some sleep?'

'No need.' Lu Heyang said. 'I'll make another round — see if there are any residents who didn't make it out in time.'

With that, Lu Heyang raised a hand and touched the back of Xu Ze's neck in farewell. Xu Ze stood rigid, his attention fixed on Song Yuke, afraid the man might notice anything amiss.

'Dr. Xu.' Lu Heyang called to him.

'Mm?' Xu Ze turned back, bewildered.

But Lu Heyang said nothing further. He walked outside with Song Yuke.

A little after ten, when the sun was at its best, the sky cleared to a pure blue. Medical vehicles and search-and-rescue teams arrived in succession, and the wounded were transferred.

A war correspondent, having finished his on-site filming, asked Lu Heyang, 'Colonel, may I take a photo of you? For the record.'

Lu Heyang looked off in another direction and said, 'Just a moment.'

After settling Xiao He onto the medical vehicle, Xu Ze turned to look for Lu Heyang and happened to meet his eyes. Lu Heyang beckoned him over. Xu Ze went at once and asked, 'What is it?'

'A photo.' Lu Heyang looked toward the reporter. 'Would two people together be all right?'

'Of course.' The reporter stepped back a few paces to find his angle and said to Xu Ze, who hadn't yet caught on, 'Come on, look at the camera.'

On the grass outside the hospital gate, battered by the war, the wind blew and the sun shone bright, falling on them both. Xu Ze, in a white coat whose original color could no longer be made out, was held by Lu Heyang's arm around his shoulder as their first photograph together was taken.

Back at the Central Military Hospital, Xu Ze called Chi Jiahán to report that he was safe, then called Huang Liling. Huang Liling sighed long and hard on the other end of the line, declaring that he'd be frightened into losing years of his life before long.

Xu Ze apologized again and again, then finally asked if he could return to the Capital City for a visit. Huang Liling agreed readily and told him to rest well for a few days.

The Plum Blossom was already wilted beyond recognition, but Xu Ze wrapped it carefully and put it in his bag — unwilling to leave it abandoned here. He and Lu Heyang then boarded a military aircraft back to the Capital City.

The whole way, Song Yuke fretted — worried that Lu Heyang would get a severe dressing-down from Commander Luo, and worried about how on earth to write his own action report. He couldn't exactly write that he'd spent an entire night driving with the Colonel, completely unprotected, in search of a medical team. That wouldn't do.

Every time his worry reached a pitch he couldn't bear, he'd turn his head and find Lu Heyang and Xu Ze leaning against each other, peacefully catching up on sleep, or talking in low voices, or reading the same newspaper together.

This only deepened Song Yuke's distress.

They reached the Capital City at dusk. Xu Ze sat in the car. When they passed Hospital 195, he thought Lu Heyang would let him off — but he didn't. When they passed the Military Medical University Dormitory, he thought Lu Heyang would let him off — but he didn't. When they passed the Old Town, he thought Lu Heyang would let him off — but still he didn't.

In the end, Xu Ze was brought straight to the Air Force Base, and then — person and luggage alike — unceremoniously deposited into Lu Heyang's room.

'Take a shower and get some sleep. Someone will bring food later.' Lu Heyang said. 'Sleep on the bed. Not the sofa.'

'Why?' Xu Ze had been planning to sleep on the sofa, but Lu Heyang had forbidden it before he could. He didn't quite understand.

Lu Heyang's answer was, in effect, no answer at all. He said, 'Because the bed is for sleeping.'

Lu Heyang left the room to the steady beeping of his communicator. Xu Ze was quiet for a while. He did none of the things he ought to have done. Instead, he opened his Mobile Phone and looked at the photo of himself and Lu Heyang — which he had secretly asked the reporter to send him during the transfer.

After working through the documents that had piled up over the past two days, and considering that a meeting was coming up — for which a dust-covered combat suit, fresh from travel, would be inappropriate — Lu Heyang went to the rest room attached to his office, washed his hair and body in the shower, and changed into a clean training uniform.

The meeting ended at half past nine. Song Yuke reminded Lu Heyang that there was one last item on the day's schedule: 'Starting at ten, we head out for Flight Readiness Training.'

Lu Heyang capped his pen. 'Can't they go on their own?'

'But... it was you who said last time that you'd lead the training yourself. Because you hadn't flown a fighter in too long, and it would be a good chance to get your feel back. You even specifically asked me to remind you.'

'Next time.' Lu Heyang's expression was perfectly composed. 'I haven't rested well these past few days. I'm not in the right state.'

'Oh, all right, understood. Next time is tomorrow — I'll remind you again tomorrow.'

Driving back to the dormitory, Lu Heyang spotted a figure waiting by the wall of the apartment building from several dozen meters away. He turned off his communicator and leaned back against the passenger seat, watching from a distance.

Xu Ze was wearing only a thin, old sweater, his hair a little mussed from sleep. When the cleaning staff had come by not long before, he'd gone downstairs along with them — and only afterward realized how out of place he looked among the uniformed Air Force personnel around him.

But there was nothing for it. The elevator required a face scan, and he had no idea whose credentials to use.

A car stopped two meters away. Xu Ze shifted closer to the wall, trying to make himself less conspicuous.

Lu Heyang got out of the car and asked, 'Are we playing hide-and-seek?'

'...' Xu Ze was embarrassed, and at the same time relieved. 'Colonel.'

'Why did you come down?'

'You should have stayed properly in the room, shouldn't—'

'You haven't done anything wrong. Don't beat yourself up.' Lu Heyang pressed the elevator button, cutting him off. 'I'm just asking why you came downstairs.'

'Nothing, really.' Xu Ze paused, then admitted honestly, 'Waiting for you.'

The elevator had been polished to a shine. In the mirror, Xu Ze saw his thoroughly unflattering hairstyle — and noticed, for the first time, that the old sweater he was wearing had been washed so thin that the slightest movement revealed the two points at his chest. It was barely better than a T-shirt.

Xu Ze stood frozen, wanting to check whether Lu Heyang had noticed. His gaze shifted — and met Lu Heyang's in the mirror, as though Lu Heyang were standing directly opposite, looking straight at him.

Ding — the opening elevator doors came to Xu Ze's rescue. Before he stepped out, he heard Lu Heyang ask, 'You slept on the sofa again, didn't you.'

'Of course not.' Xu Ze answered, without any conviction.

The door opened. Xu Ze walked in. Lu Heyang closed it behind them.

The lock clicked. Xu Ze reached out to feel for the light switch — a position he wasn't yet used to — but he never found it, because his hand was seized halfway.

His nose bridge went slack as Lu Heyang removed his glasses. The hand holding the glasses pressed against the small of Xu Ze's back, drawing him forward.

Before Lu Heyang's kiss fell, Xu Ze instinctively tilted his head up toward him.