Chapter 97

Xu Ze remembered there was a small step at the entryway; worried about stumbling, he gripped Lu Heyang's training-suit belt tight. Lu Heyang pressed against the tip of Xu Ze's tongue and kissed him for a while, then hooked an arm under his legs and lifted him, stepping over that distracting threshold.

His whole body sank into the soft bedding, and Xu Ze looped his arms around Lu Heyang's neck and kissed him back.

Lu Heyang stopped, lifted his head, braced himself above Xu Ze. Xu Ze licked his lower lip, suddenly nervous, and asked, 'Are you angry?'

'Why would you ask that.'

'Because I slept on the sofa.'

'Why are you suddenly admitting you slept on the sofa.'

Realising he had incriminated himself, Xu Ze cut the topic short, took Lu Heyang by the collar and pulled him down a little, and kissed him with very little skill.

…

Past two in the morning, the whole Base had gone completely still; only the searchlight's beam swept at regular intervals through the gap in the curtains. Lu Heyang walked out of the bathroom towelling his still-damp hair, the sheets and bedding already changed for a fresh set, and beneath the covers on the left side a small mound was huddled.

Lu Heyang reached to lift the quilt, but Xu Ze clutched it tight, keeping his face thoroughly hidden.

'Still feeling unwell?' Lu Heyang asked, concerned.

'……' Xu Ze, his voice hoarse, muffled into the bedding, 'Yes.'

Although it was impossible to be thrown into panic because of **, that did not mean the matter sat easily inside Xu Ze.

The thought of Lu Heyang having seen everything was more than Xu Ze could bear to revisit; as for whatever he had babbled in those dozen-odd seconds of ** from overstimulation, that was probably the brain's protective mechanism at work—Xu Ze could not remember a single line of it, and he sincerely hoped he never would in this lifetime. Even better if Lu Heyang could forget it too.

Lu Heyang dimmed the bedside lamp. 'Lights off.'

A rustle of fabric; Xu Ze poked his face out, was quiet for a moment, then asked, 'Should I go sleep in the medical department's dormitory?'

'No.' Lu Heyang pushed back the covers and got into bed.

Lying in one bed with Lu Heyang like this was a rare experience. In high school, time had always been pressing; Lu Heyang usually did not linger, and Xu Ze had long been used to that pattern.

Xu Ze's face was burning. Lu Heyang pressed the back of his hand to Xu Ze's cheek, then bent his head and kissed him. Xu Ze felt his eyelids could no longer stay open, his thoughts drifting toward sleep; he took Lu Heyang's hand and asked, 'What time do you get up?'

'Usually seven.'

'There aren't many hours left.' Xu Ze fretted, weakly.

Lu Heyang lay down. Xu Ze opened his eyes, looked at him for several seconds, closed them again, then shifted a little closer to Lu Heyang.

That night he did not sleep well. When Lu Heyang woke in the middle of the night, the space beside him was empty—Xu Ze had his back to him, curled up at the very edge of the bed. Lu Heyang reached for Xu Ze's arm and turned him over; Xu Ze, half-asleep and uncertain, felt for Lu Heyang's wrist, then shifted back to his side.

Within a few minutes Xu Ze had fallen asleep again, but Lu Heyang stayed awake a long time, only sleeping when dawn came.

When he woke, the room held only Xu Ze. Even prepared as he was, the twelve on the clock still exceeded his expectations—he had never slept this late in a single stretch.

Every muscle in his body ached. Xu Ze lay dazed for a while, then slowly rose, got out of bed, pulled on a pair of trousers. The old sweater had fallen by the bedside; Xu Ze picked it up and discovered it was no longer a whole garment.

He gave up on the sweater and went to the bathroom. By the time he finished washing up and came out, the room door was being opened; Lu Heyang's right hand rested on the handle, and he seemed to take Xu Ze's measure in the dim light before asking, 'Hungry?'

'Mm.' Xu Ze's voice was still hoarse, barely producing more than a breath of sound.

Lu Heyang opened the door a little wider; Xu Ze walked past, his shoulder brushing Lu Heyang's chest as he stepped out of the room.

He dug a shirt out of his suitcase and put it on, one button fastened crooked without his noticing, and sat at the dining table watching Lu Heyang open the meal box.

Xu Ze ate quietly and quickly, not much. Lu Heyang took out a bottle of fresh-squeezed juice, fitted a straw, and handed it to him. Xu Ze drank a few sips and asked, 'Are you going to nap?'

'No nap.' Lu Heyang did not tell Xu Ze that he himself had only risen past eight that morning, to spare him any extra guilt.

The communicator on the coffee table rang. Lu Heyang went to check the message; Xu Ze thought for a moment, took the juice with him, and followed, standing beside the sofa.

After Lu Heyang finished replying, he looked up and reached to rest his hand at Xu Ze's waist; Xu Ze stepped forward half a pace and straddled Lu Heyang's legs, face to face.

'Good?'

'Mm.' Xu Ze hesitated, then held the straw to Lu Heyang's lips. 'Want a sip?'

Lu Heyang took a sip and said, 'If you like it, I'll have them bring more tonight.'

Then he set the communicator aside, reached between their bodies, and took hold of the bottom-most button of Xu Ze's shirt—undoing it, then the second one above.

Xu Ze did not register it at first; a few seconds later his whole body stiffened, his breath quickening a little. He glanced toward the balcony, where the sunlight was fine; just as Lu Heyang was about to undo half the shirt's buttons, Xu Ze pressed his hand down.

'Don't move.' Lu Heyang did not look up.

Xu Ze let go and stayed perfectly still.

All the buttons were undone; the skin across his chest felt the cool air, but his ears were burning. Xu Ze's Adam's apple bobbed, his tone taut: 'Here?'

'Your button was crooked—didn't you notice?' Lu Heyang smoothed Xu Ze's collar, realigned the buttons, and began re-fastening them, then asked, 'What here?'

This mortified Xu Ze. He shook his head and mumbled, 'Nothing.'

But Lu Heyang smiled faintly, no longer helping Xu Ze with the buttons, and looked at him as he asked, 'Want to do it here?'

The communicator rang as if about to shatter. Xu Ze, like an oversized plush toy with limbs gone slack, lay draped over Lu Heyang, and with great effort managed to remind him, 'Aren't you going to answer it?'

Lu Heyang lazily opened his eyes; his right hand dropped off the sofa and retrieved the communicator from the carpet. Xu Ze had just thought to rise and step away, so as not to overhear the call, but Lu Heyang had already pressed answer.

Xu Ze was terrified, his breathing pressed to the lightest thread. Lu Heyang took the call while using the back of a finger to toy with Xu Ze's eyelashes.

Xu Ze was strung tight; the upper half of his body was numbed by the tremor of Lu Heyang's chest as he spoke, though Lu Heyang's volume was perfectly normal—in the end Xu Ze realised it was his own heart, beating too hard.

After hanging up, Lu Heyang shifted the finger Xu Ze had been biting and said, 'Relax.'

Xu Ze let go at once, but Lu Heyang's other hand slid down his back, all the way to the base of his spine. 'I meant here.'

Past two o'clock, Lu Heyang tucked the freshly washed Xu Ze back into bed and left the dormitory. Xu Ze, half in a daze, thought he hadn't checked his Mobile Phone in a long while, didn't know if he might have missed anything important—then on reflection, couldn't quite recall where the Mobile Phone had ended up.

Too tired; sleep first. Xu Ze, rarely, indulged in such a lazy impulse, and closed his eyes.

'Colonel, today's Flight Readiness Training begins at nine.'

Lu Heyang signed off on the last file. 'All right. I'm not going.'

'Is there something else on?' Song Yuke recalled that Lu Heyang should not have other arrangements tonight.

'No.' Lu Heyang said, 'I'm going back to the dormitory to rest.'

Song Yuke felt Lu Heyang had been acting strangely these past two days. Originally a man who, apart from sleeping at night, would not return to the dormitory for a single hour in the twenty-four, this morning he had arrived at the office more than an hour later than usual, had gone back to the dormitory at noon, and had even shown up to the afternoon meeting right at the last moment. And now it was barely past eight, yet Lu Heyang was saying he wanted to go back and rest again.

This alarmed Song Yuke, who worried something had happened to Lu Heyang. He did not dare ask lightly, and only said carefully, 'All right. Please rest well.'

When Lu Heyang returned to the dormitory, Xu Ze was sitting on the sofa working on his computer. Seeing him open the door and come in, Xu Ze set the laptop on the coffee table and stood up. 'This early?'

He remembered calling Lu Heyang before—around eleven or twelve at night, Lu Heyang would generally still be in the office or the command room.

'If it's too early, I can come back later.'

'No.' Xu Ze said at once, 'I was just worried it might get in the way of your work.'

'I'm not that useless.' Lu Heyang smiled a little. 'Have you eaten? Did they bring you juice?'

'I ate. There's juice.'

'Mm.' Lu Heyang took off his training cap and looked at Xu Ze. 'I'm going to shower.'

The moment their eyes met, Xu Ze looked away. A moment later he looked at Lu Heyang again, and found Lu Heyang still looking at him. Xu Ze's throat itched strangely; his voice drifted as he asked, 'What is it?'

Lu Heyang did not answer at once. He kept his gaze on Xu Ze for several seconds, then asked, 'Together?'

Though his waist and legs were still sore and weak, Xu Ze had already walked toward Lu Heyang before he could even take that into account, as though thoroughly bewitched.

The troubled Song Yuke, after Flight Readiness Training ended, still meant to go check on Lu Heyang. He had sent the training data to Lu Heyang a few minutes earlier; Lu Heyang had replied, meaning he had not yet slept.

What could have made the Colonel return to the dormitory past eight and yet still be unable to sleep? Song Yuke could not think of it. He carried a bag of fruit and drove to Lu Heyang's dormitory building.

Coming out of the elevator, Song Yuke happened to see Lu Heyang setting a bag of rubbish outside the door. Lu Heyang was wearing only a pair of long trousers, looking as though he had just finished showering.

'Colonel.' Song Yuke jogged a few steps. 'You're not asleep yet?'

Slightly surprised by Song Yuke's sudden appearance, Lu Heyang paused. 'Mm. What is it?'

'Oh, nothing really, just—'

The second half of the sentence was cut off by footsteps from inside the room. Song Yuke stared blankly at another Alpha who had come into view, unable to react for a moment.

The living-room light was off, dim; only the entryway light was on, dimly illuminating Xu Ze in nothing but a pair of athletic trousers. His build was good—mature, long-lined—and Song Yuke, for the first time, felt a subtle, embarrassed reluctance to look at an Alpha's body. He had never so clearly understood what 'after' meant.

Xu Ze was not wearing his Wristband; his body was giving off his own Pheromone, and an S-Class Alpha, under normal circumstances, would never allow his Pheromone to run so unchecked.

More stunned than Song Yuke was Xu Ze. He had only heard Lu Heyang's voice from inside the room, thought Lu Heyang was speaking to him, and had come out to look—he had not expected to run into Song Yuke.

At this point, turning and ducking back into the room would only look foolish. Xu Ze could only stand there, doing what he did best—spacing out.

'Ha...' Song Yuke finally found his voice. 'Doctor Xu, you're here too.'

Everything had an answer now. Colonel Lu was perfectly fine; the problem was his own brain. Song Yuke had always thought Xu Ze had been sent out of the Base by Lu Heyang yesterday—turns out—

Pushing further back, why Lu Heyang had gone to the battlefield to find someone could also be explained.

'Just got a batch of fruit in, very fresh, so I brought some over.' Song Yuke did not know what he was saying. 'Colonel, you and Doctor Xu sleep early—I'll go wash my face first.'

'Thanks.'

Lu Heyang took the fruit, turned sideways, and handed it to Xu Ze. Song Yuke noticed a few reddened scratch marks still lingering on his back.

The door closed, and Song Yuke departed, his soul thoroughly shaken. Xu Ze, holding the fruit, looked at Lu Heyang with the uneasy air of someone who had done something wrong, and asked, 'What do we do?'

'What do we do about what?'

Xu Ze suspected Lu Heyang was asking knowingly, but was not sure. He reminded Lu Heyang, 'I'm an Alpha.'

'I know.' Lu Heyang asked him in return, 'Wasn't I before?'

No one worried about this more than Xu Ze did. He said, 'If people find out you're with an Alpha, it's not good.'

'Really?' Lu Heyang tilted his head slightly, the trace of a smile on his lips. 'If it's not good, why are you still with me?'

'I don't think it's bad, but others might.' Xu Ze's thoughts were a little tangled; he was not ready to discuss this with Lu Heyang, because once it was discussed, the balance would be broken—and Xu Ze could not bear that. Lu Heyang had only just recovered his memory.

'So keeping it secret is more appropriate.' Xu Ze braced himself, struggling for words. 'No need to let anyone know, until you—'

'Until one day I marry an Omega?' Lu Heyang finished the sentence for him.

Xu Ze did not say 'right' or 'not right'. He had thought this way before, but had never truly wished for it.

'Are you going to abandon me, Xu Ze?' Lu Heyang went on asking, neither angry nor impatient.

The question was absurd. Xu Ze was stunned for a moment, then answered, 'How could I.'

'So people will find out eventually.' Lu Heyang said calmly. 'We can keep it secret now, but once you're married in the future, how will you hide it?'

On the third evening, Xu Ze went to attend Chi Jiahán's birthday party. Lu Heyang was in a meeting and had arranged a driver to take Xu Ze to the restaurant.

Xu Ze's mind worked very slowly; he felt he had regressed. These were the most wasteful days he had lived through in years—nothing but eating, sleeping, and being slept.

So much so that at the party Chi Jiahán had several times shaken Xu Ze by the shoulder and said to him, 'Wake up.'

'Lu Heyang has ruined you.' Chi Jiahán, drunk and deadly serious, said, 'He locked you up in the Air Force Base, only let you out after several days—isn't that terrifying?'

Only the name 'Lu Heyang' could draw Xu Ze's attention. Xu Ze answered, 'He didn't lock me up.'

'You're beyond saving.' Chi Jiahán said.

The Mobile Phone rang. Chi Jiahán picked up. 'Hello, who's calling?'

He Wei, hearing that he was drunk, said, 'I'm your boyfriend.'

Chi Jiahán laughed coldly and hung up. A friend beside him asked, 'Who?'

'A scam call.' Chi Jiahán said.

After the party broke up, the moment Chi Jiahán stepped out of the restaurant he was seized by He Wei in police uniform. He Wei, fastening Chi Jiahán's seatbelt for him, scolded him for drinking so much. Chi Jiahán leaned back in the seat, squinted at him, and in the middle of He Wei's nagging, leaned over and kissed him.

He Wei was stunned. After a few seconds of silence, he cupped Chi Jiahán's face and kissed him back. They kissed for several minutes, and he was neither scolded nor struck.

'Do you think this is fun?' Chi Jiahán was not angry, but He Wei seemed to have made himself angry from the kiss. He said, 'Keeping me dangling like this—do you find it interesting?'

Chi Jiahán did not answer. He Wei, with a strange little laugh to himself, kissed Chi Jiahán's cheek and, in a thoroughly foolish way, said, 'Anyway I think it's interesting.'

'...' Chi Jiahán was at a loss for words.

Just as he was about to start the car, He Wei glanced out the window. 'Hey, isn't that Xu Ze? Should we give him a ride?'

'Oh, someone's picking him up.' He Wei looked on, more and more uneasy. 'What's going on—the one picking him up is Heyang? Wait, I'm going down to say hi.'

Chi Jiahán grabbed him. 'No rush. Let's watch a bit longer.'

'Watch what?' He Wei was puzzled. 'Could it be that Yun Chi will show up too?'

Gu Yunchi did not appear, but He Wei saw with his own eyes Lu Heyang slide an arm around Xu Ze's waist, lower his head, and kiss the corner of Xu Ze's mouth.

'...' After a long moment, He Wei slowly turned back to look at Chi Jiahán. 'Are they acting?'