Chapter 81: 第 81 章

Let me guess — you're waiting for someone right now, aren't you, dear Number Seventeen.

'Sorry, the number you have dialed…'

Click, click, click…

Xu Ze, sign here.

Click, click… click… 'Sorry, the number you have dialed…'

Xu Ze, stop picking them up!

His heart gave one violent thump. Xu Ze's eyes flew open to find himself gasping for air, sweat pouring down, soaking his T‑shirt.

He stared at the bedroom light, still dazed, his hands clenched into fists as if gripping something tight — the sensation of being filled with beads lingered, yet his palms were clearly empty. Pale blue light filtered through the white curtains, spilling across the whole room; it seemed to be early morning already.

After a moment, Xu Ze blinked and slowly sat up. Feeling a little better, he turned to switch on the desk lamp and reached under his pillow for his mobile phone, his fingers brushing against something hard at the same time. Xu Ze pulled both out together.

A deep‑blue velvet gift box. He opened it. The golden Honor Badge still lay quietly inside, the lamplight gilding it with another layer of gold.

For a moment Xu Ze forgot to check his phone, just staring blankly at the badge, his thoughts drifting back to the dream he'd just had.

For a long time now — years — he'd kept having dreams like this, always hearing in his sleep the sound of prayer beads scattering on the floor, one after another, accompanied by the busy signal of a call that wouldn't connect.

The scene in the dream was very narrow, like a first‑person circular lens; everything outside the frame was pitch‑black. All he could see was one hand groping endlessly on the floor, picking up beads, while the other hand clutched a mobile phone, pressed stubbornly to his ear.

It was just a dream, yet more than a dream. Xu Ze knew it had truly happened once.

He lifted the badge from the box and gently turned it over. The characters engraved on the back were crisp and clear. Xu Ze's thumb carefully traced over the three characters 'Lu Heyang,' feeling the uneven texture.

It had been several days, and Xu Ze still didn't know what to do with this badge. He'd tried many things — putting it in the desk drawer, the nightstand, the bottom of the wardrobe — but none felt right, none felt suitable. In the end he'd decided to keep it under his pillow: that way he could ensure it wasn't exposed, yet still easily confirm it was there.

Only its security left something to be desired. Last night before bed, Xu Ze had even considered whether he ought to buy a safe specifically to store it.

He knew perfectly well that what he really ought to do was return the badge to Lu Heyang, because this wasn't an ordinary commemorative badge. Lu Heyang had most likely taken the wrong one by mistake — perhaps he'd meant to take the kind that could be circulated, sold, or given out in batches. In any case, it wouldn't have been this one.

So much so that these past few days, every time Xu Ze ran into an Air Force officer in training gear or uniform at the hospital, he'd wonder if the other had been sent by Lu Heyang to retrieve the badge. But none ever were.

Xu Ze closed the lid and put the badge back under his pillow. He opened his phone: the time read 5:40. After skimming through his unread messages, he got ready to take a shower. Standing by the bed, he thought for a moment, then picked up his phone again and made a call first.

A mobile phone rang from a spot twenty centimeters away — someone was calling. Lu Heyang opened his eyes. His eyelids felt unexpectedly heavy; he could only lift them a sliver. The phone screen was lit, but his vision was terribly blurred; he couldn't make out the caller's name.

Lu Heyang tried to reach for the phone, but he had little strength. He thought he was about to touch it, then realized a few seconds later that his arm hadn't actually moved at all.

The ringtone kept going. The caller seemed determined to get through. Lu Heyang turned his head to look at the screen; through the murky haze of his vision, he faintly discerned that the name was probably two characters long.

He wanted to see it more clearly, but the ringtone abruptly stopped. The surroundings grew vast and silent. Lu Heyang opened his eyes.

Wall, lamp, curtains — all were sharp and clear.

Lu Heyang turned his head. There was no mobile phone twenty centimeters away; the spot was empty.

He sat up, a dull ache throbbing at his temples. Lu Heyang had grown used to this occasional pain in his head, just as he'd grown used to that inscrutable dream.

The unceasing ringtone, the lit phone screen, and the caller's name, forever blurred and indistinct — never clear enough to see.

He glanced at the clock: not yet six. Lu Heyang got out of bed, took off his shirt, and was heading for the bathroom when the military communicator on the nightstand chimed once. Lu Heyang picked it up; it was a message from outside the Air Force system architecture.

League Northern Theater Command Army Lieutenant Colonel Gu Yunchi: If you have time these next few days, go to the 195th Military Hospital and check on my grandfather for me.

Normally one wouldn't use a military communicator to convey a private message, but the Northern Theater was in the thick of fighting; Gu Colonel had likely forgotten where his own mobile phone was. Lu Heyang called back; he and Gu Yunchi had been out of touch for about half a year.

When the call connected, the other end was filled with the various beeps of computers and comms equipment, hurried footsteps, and the clamor of conversation.

'When was he admitted?' Lu Heyang skipped the pleasantries and asked directly.

'Last week, but I only found out today.' Gu Yunchi's voice was low and hoarse, the sound of someone who'd pulled several all‑nighters. 'But his condition should be alright.'

'I'll go at the latest tomorrow. Anything you want me to pass along?'

'Forget it.' Gu Yunchi replied. 'I'll try to stay alive and go back to tell Grandpa myself.'

'Alright.'

There was no 'take care,' 'be careful,' or 'goodbye.' They simply hung up at the same time.

'Hearing Young Master Gu is still alive puts my mind at ease.' He Wei said, holding his mobile phone in one hand and pushing an IV stand with the other as he stepped out of the elevator. 'Tomorrow I'll go with you to see Grandpa Gu. I won't go alone today.'

'Mm.' Lu Heyang asked, 'You're not at the station now?'

'No, I came to the 195th Military Hospital for an IV — caught a fever from overtime the last couple days.' He Wei said as he walked. 'Perfect timing; I'll go upstairs and see my dear Doctor Xu.'

Lu Heyang clearly paused for a beat, about to say something, when an officer came to find him. Hearing this, He Wei tactfully said, 'Colonel Lu, go ahead and get busy. I'm about to see Doctor Xu; we'll talk later, okay?'

After hanging up, He Wei pushed his IV stand toward the nurses' station. In his police uniform, he cut a respectable figure, his appearance deceptively charming. It took only a few seconds to learn that Doctor Xu was currently on rounds and would be back in his office soon.

'Then I'll wait for him in Doctor Xu's office.' He Wei gave a faint smile. 'Thank you.'

Doctors' offices were usually empty. He Wei sat down on the guest sofa, made a brief call to a subordinate, and had just put his phone down when Xu Ze stepped into the office.

Probably having already heard from the nurses that someone was waiting, Xu Ze looked toward the sofa as soon as he entered.

'Morning, Doctor Xu.' He Wei waved at him with a smile.

'Are you sick?' Xu Ze went to pour a cup of hot water and placed it on the coffee table in front of He Wei.

'A bit of a fever, nothing serious.'

Xu Ze went over to adjust the height of He Wei's IV stand, then took his hand to check the needle and tape. After confirming nothing had shifted, he sat down on the small sofa beside him.

'That white coat really suits you.' He Wei took a sip of water. 'The 195th Military Hospital shouldn't be as busy now, right? Both major theaters have gradually ceased fighting, and the Northern Theater has support from other nearby military hospitals.'

'Mm, the lab is a bit busier.' Xu Ze paused a moment, then asked, 'What kind of injury did you get that made you come back to the country?'

'Who told you that?' He Wei's focus always landed in the most peculiar places. 'Was it Heyang?'

Xu Ze hesitated, then nodded.

'Wow, so you two had already met before. I thought that time at the restaurant was the first time for all of us.'

'We ran into each other by chance at work.' Xu Ze said.

'Just took a bullet to the chest.' He Wei smiled. 'Wasn't too serious either, but my parents accidentally found out — they reacted a bit intensely… But hey, I'm a cop; getting hurt comes with the territory.'

When he'd checked He Wei's needle just now, Xu Ze had seen and felt it: those hands that had once never touched a day's work now had calluses covering almost every fingertip, palm, and the web between thumb and forefinger. The ring finger on his right hand was visibly deformed, likely from a severe fracture. The nail on his little finger was only half there — impossible to tell whether it had broken off halfway or the whole nail had fallen out and only half had grown back.

Xu Ze found it a little hard to reconcile — the Officer He before him now was the same Alpha who'd once driven supercars worth millions, changed them on a whim, insisted his license plates had to be his birthday, and demanded his car interiors be pink.

'Why that look? Feeling sorry for me?' He Wei was curious. 'You'd think a doctor would be more used to this sort of thing.'

No — for Xu Ze it was the opposite. He'd lost both parents very young, and through his teens drifted through one brutal Underground Gym after another, ground down until he grew numb; it wasn't until he first entered a hospital that Xu Ze finally felt something real — that perhaps even hands once caked with blood and filth could yet save the dying and heal the wounded.

'Have you had a full physical since you came back?'

'Had several even before returning. I'll do another one tomorrow at the 195th Military Hospital.' He Wei said. 'Yun Chi's grandfather is also hospitalized here. Yun Chi can't come back for now, so Heyang and I agreed to go see Grandpa Gu together tomorrow.'

Xu Ze started. 'Tomorrow?'

'Yeah, tomorrow morning.'

After a brief moment of thought, Xu Ze asked, 'After you finish tomorrow, could you send me a message?'

'You need something from Heyang? I can give you his number… Oh, right, he hardly uses his mobile phone now; he mostly uses the communicator. I'll send you a message then and let you know.'

'Mm, thank you.'

'Don't mention it.' He Wei leaned comfortably back into the sofa, his expression turning mischievous. 'Our little Ze — are you seeing anyone?'

Xu Ze didn't react for a second, then shook his head. 'No.'

'You must have loads and loads of people chasing you, right?' He Wei said with a grin. 'Not long after I got to the station, probably because people knew I'd been in the same class as you before, an Omega asked me about you. Said his father had been hospitalized in your department before. His dad's the Chief Prosecutor of the Capital City's Supreme Procuratorate — ring any bells?'

'Yes.' Xu Ze replied.

'He must have confessed to you, right? Why turn him down? He's quite good‑looking, family background's excellent too — wouldn't hurt to give it a try.'

Xu Ze's tone was flat. 'I haven't considered that sort of thing.'

'Our little Ze, still the same. Not like Heyang — already secretly married.'

When he heard those last four words, Xu Ze was momentarily stunned, but what He Wei said next made the credibility of 'secretly married' plummet. He said, 'Yun Chi's wife is already on her third child.'

'That's not true, is it?' Xu Ze asked, somewhat seriously.

He Wei laughed happily a few times. 'Of course it's not true. You have no idea — that Omega looked so harmless, but back then he actually faked his death and ran off. Then, just over half a year ago, someone discovered he was still alive. It's just that Yun Chi can't come back right now, otherwise he'd have gone to grab him already. I'd guess our Gu Colonel is probably not far from losing his mind.'

Though he'd been passively exposed to plenty of gossip both at the academy and in the hospital, this type wasn't common. Xu Ze recalled Gu Yunchi's arranged‑marriage partner from high school — it had been so long he couldn't remember the exact face anymore, only that they'd been exceptionally good‑looking.

'As long as the person is alive, that's a good thing.' Xu Ze said.

'Of course it's a good thing. Doesn't stop Young Master Gu from being furious, though. Once he gets back…'

'Xu Ze.'

The Omega in the white coat entered and habitually looked toward the desk. Finding no one there, he turned his head toward the guest area.

He Wei looked up at the sound. When their eyes met, both froze for an instant. The office grew very quiet.

After six or seven seconds, He Wei finally smiled. Using the same tone from years ago — the one meant not to scare this Alpha‑phobic Omega — he softened his voice and said, 'Doctor Chi, long time no see.'

Chi Jiahán didn't answer. He shifted his gaze away almost stiffly and said to Xu Ze, 'I'll come back later.'

'Alright.' Xu Ze said.

'So that's why I said back in high school that being around you felt comfortable.' After Chi Jiahán left, He Wei was silent for a moment, then leaned back into the sofa again, a faint smile returning to the corner of his mouth. 'Our little Ze — you seem to know everything, yet you never ask too much or say too much.'

Xu Ze glanced up at the IV bottle to confirm there was still some left, then said, 'I don't know.'

He really wasn't too clear. It was just that over all these years, Chi Jiahán had never once mentioned He Wei, which made Xu Ze feel that perhaps what lay between them wasn't simply a matter of like or dislike, pursuit or rejection of pursuit. Chi Jiahán didn't speak of it, and Xu Ze wouldn't ask.

He Wei gave a light snap of his fingers. 'That's exactly what I mean.'

No need to buy a safe. After returning from the lab in the early hours, Xu Ze sat on the floor beside his bed, looking at that badge.

He didn't feel reluctant, nor did he feel it was a pity. It had never been his to begin with — too precious, something that ought to be returned to Lu Heyang.

If Lu Heyang had given him a piece of gold without any other meaning, Xu Ze would certainly have found a way to keep it — buy it with money or trade something for it. But this was a badge with special significance.

Xu Ze looked at it for a long time, until he was certain he had completely memorized the badge's appearance, then closed the box and put it back under his pillow. He hadn't even thought to take a photo as a keepsake.

It was already past three in the morning. Xu Ze got up to wash up. At seven there was a joint surgery for a hemophiliac patient; multiple departments in the hospital would be involved, and the director had asked him to attend.

Perhaps he was too tired — Xu Ze fell asleep quickly and did not dream. Woken promptly by the six o'clock alarm, he got up, got ready, then took the badge box from under his pillow, opened it and glanced at it again, put it in his backpack, and went out.

After changing into surgical scrubs and completing disinfection, Xu Ze entered the operating room. This surgery had undergone a full-hospital consultation beforehand. Because the patient suffered from hemophilia, with abnormal clotting time, the intraoperative and postoperative risks were extremely high. Preparations were underway in the operating room; even the usually most lively anesthesiologist had no mind to crack a joke.

Soon, several directors arrived, and the entire operating room fell completely silent, leaving only the sound of the instruments running.

'Grandfather Gu looks to be in good shape. Tell Yun Chi so he can rest easy.'

'Mm.'

'I still have a few check-up items left to do, so I'll go continue with those. I have a meeting this afternoon — we'll have a meal together when we're free.' Reaching the elevator entrance, He Wei suddenly remembered. 'Oh, right — Xu Ze asked me yesterday to give him a call when I was done. I nearly forgot.'

Lu Heyang, who had been looking at messages on his Military Communicator, looked up. 'He needs something from you?'

'Not from me.' He Wei dialed Xu Ze's number. 'From you.'

Lu Heyang turned off his Military Communicator and watched He Wei make the call. He Wei listened for over ten seconds. 'No answer. He might be busy.'

'I'll go find him,' Lu Heyang said.

'Don't know where he is now. Should I give you his number? Did you bring your Mobile Phone out?'

'It's fine. Don't need to.'

The elevator doors opened, and the two walked in. He Wei was still puzzled. 'What could Little Ze want with you? Can't figure it out. Last time you took him home, did something happen that I don't know about?'

Lu Heyang pressed the button for the seventh floor and answered, 'Yes.'

'What was it?' He Wei perked up his ears.

'Forgot,' Lu Heyang said lightly.

'...'

'Whatever, I'm tired.' He Wei said, 'It's like this — even though you don't remember him, if there's a chance, you two could still try getting along. I think back in high school Xu Ze really did consider you a friend — otherwise he wouldn't have rushed through the heavy rain overnight to bring you a birthday gift.'

Lu Heyang turned his head to look at him. 'What did he give?'

'Funny — you never took it out to show me, how would I know? The point I'm trying to make is that such an event happened, okay?' The seventh floor arrived. He Wei gave Lu Heyang a shove on the shoulder. 'I'm experiencing what Xu Ze must feel now. Communicating with someone with amnesia like you is truly especially painful. If I were him, I'd really rather never run into you again — otherwise it's a blow every single time.'

Lu Heyang stepped out of the elevator and, without saying anything, raised a hand to He Wei in farewell.

Perhaps because he had visited the department twice before, the nurse at the front desk recognized Lu Heyang at a glance and nodded to him. 'Colonel.'

'Hello. Is Doctor Xu busy right now? He didn't answer his phone.'

'Xu Ze? He had a surgery this morning; it ended about half an hour ago. He might be doing rounds or in a meeting.'

'Alright, thank you.'

His Military Communicator rang. Lu Heyang answered it as he walked toward a quiet corner. Passing a corridor door, he pushed it open and went in. Inside were two internal elevators; further to the right was a stairwell.

It was Song Yuke calling, urging Lu Heyang to return to the Base as soon as possible for a video conference, while briefly reporting on the morning's airspace patrol.

Lu Heyang just listened, finally saying, 'Alright, got it.'

'Ah, also — just received word that Doctor Su Lian will be arriving in the Capital City in the next few days.'

'Okay.'

After hanging up, Lu Heyang was about to return to the corridor when, turning, he suddenly glimpsed a pair of legs visible through the half-open stairwell door, lying motionless on the floor.

Lu Heyang watched for a few seconds, then slowly walked over.

His line of sight shifted with his steps. Lu Heyang stopped beside the door. Behind it, leaning against the wall, was an old sofa — probably for the cleaning staff to rest on during breaks — a two-seater, very small. The doctor in lake-green surgical scrubs hadn't even removed the square headscarf or the glasses on the bridge of his nose. His right hand hung on his thigh, a Mobile Phone held loosely in his palm, his head resting against the wall — just like that, he had fallen asleep, like a quiet green plant growing in a corner.

The clamor of human voices was isolated outside the corridor door; here it seemed like another distant, unreal space.

A message came in on the Mobile Phone; it vibrated once. Xu Ze's fingertips twitched, and he opened his eyes.

Light filtered in from the window at the other end of the stairwell. Xu Ze squinted, looked down at his phone, and after replying to the message he seemed to realize something, and raised his head.

The Alpha leaned his shoulder against the wall, standing there with his arms crossed in a somewhat informal posture. Because it was backlit, his face wasn't very clear — or perhaps it was because Xu Ze wasn't fully awake yet.

Xu Ze showed no sign of being startled or surprised at all — just blankly, yet very earnestly, looking at Lu Heyang like that. Those deep-gray eyes were like a lake, without ripples, concealing countless things.

It truly felt very much like a dream — that's what Xu Ze thought. Just like in a dream, there was no sound, and the face was unclear.

Holding that thought, Xu Ze's gaze lowered, landing on the area of Lu Heyang's knees. Then he reached out and wiped away a tiny speck of dust that had stuck to his trousers.

'Thank you,' Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze's hand instantly froze. He looked up again and suddenly could see Lu Heyang's face clearly.

An expression of surprise, arriving a dozen beats late, finally made its long-awaited appearance on Xu Ze's face. He opened his mouth but made no sound; he could only stand up first. After two seconds he finally spoke. 'Colonel.'

'Why are you sleeping here?' Lu Heyang asked.

'Came to make a call,' Xu Ze said, somewhat embarrassed to admit it. 'Don't know why I fell asleep.'

Fortunately, he'd only slept for a dozen minutes. Xu Ze wanted to move past this topic, so he took the initiative to ask, 'Was there something you needed from me?'

Lu Heyang looked at him. 'Seems like it was Doctor Xu who first told He Wei you had something to discuss with me.'

That was indeed the case. Xu Ze nodded stiffly. 'Yes.'

'What is it?'

The badge wasn't on him; it was in his backpack. Xu Ze asked, 'Would it be convenient to come with me to the changing room?'

Lu Heyang gave Xu Ze a calm, brief once-over and replied, 'If it's convenient for you, then it's convenient for me.'

Because it happened to be convenient for both of them, they went to the changing room.

There was no one else in the changing room. Xu Ze opened his locker door, put down his phone, took the badge from his backpack, and opened the box. Handing it to Lu Heyang, Xu Ze couldn't resist stealing one last glance at the badge before saying, 'This — did you give me the wrong thing?'

Lu Heyang didn't pay attention to the object in Xu Ze's hand but looked at his face instead. 'Meaning?'

'This Honor Badge should be a very important thing.' Xu Ze pulled the headscarf off his head; his hair was a bit messy.

'Who says?' Lu Heyang showed no intention whatsoever of taking the badge.

Xu Ze had no choice but to withdraw his hand first. 'That group member from last time — he saw it, so he told me.'

'Then what he said is probably not wrong,' Lu Heyang commented.

'So was it given by mistake?' Xu Ze, afraid Lu Heyang might feel awkward, even helped him think of a reason. 'It was very late that night, so dark — it's possible you picked up the wrong one.'

'I'm not a wholesaler; I don't have that many badges to pick the wrong one from.' Lu Heyang ignored the step Xu Ze had painstakingly built for him and said calmly, 'This one is for you.'

Because he hadn't yet processed it, Xu Ze couldn't detect the happiness beginning to stir in his heart. He only knew he was very puzzled. 'Why give it to me?'

'Wasn't Doctor Xu listening when I spoke last time?' Lu Heyang raised his hand and pressed the back of it against Xu Ze's ear. 'Because you weren't honest, so I'm giving you a reward in advance, hoping you'll be a bit more honest.'

The ear that had been touched began to heat up at a terrifying speed. Xu Ze admitted he was very dishonest. Even so, a reward like this was still far too extravagant for him — just like the expensive Wristband and boxing gloves he'd received from Lu Heyang as a teenager. He had no way to repay them in kind.

Thinking this, Xu Ze had already unconsciously closed the box and was gripping it tightly in his hand. Lu Heyang had given him a definite answer; Lu Heyang wouldn't lie to him, and probably wouldn't go back on his word and ask for the badge back — but it wouldn't matter if he did; at least not now.

'If you really don't want it, then give it back to me. Don't force yourself,' Lu Heyang said magnanimously.

'It's not that I don't want it.' Xu Ze clarified any possible misunderstanding quickly, without thinking, then asked, 'What if you need this badge when you attend a ceremony?'

'I'll come to you to get it, so please take good care of it.'

'I'll buy a safe,' Xu Ze said seriously.

Lu Heyang smiled. 'No need. Just take it out to sun it often and water it a little.'

It wouldn't do to fail to recognize even this kind of joke. Xu Ze pressed his lips together, lowered his eyes, and also smiled faintly — but then he heard Lu Heyang ask, 'Does accepting it put pressure on you?'

Although he knew that if he answered 'yes,' Lu Heyang might possibly take the badge back because of it, Xu Ze still gave a slight nod. 'A little.'

'Then treat me to a meal,' Lu Heyang said. 'I haven't been back to the Capital City for a long time; I'm not very familiar with which restaurants are good.'

Xu Ze was stunned for a moment. 'When?'

'Whenever you have time, you can contact me.' Lu Heyang thought of something else. 'Do you have my number?'

The rhythm of his heartbeat became strange. Xu Ze said softly, 'No.'

'Want it?'

Xu Ze felt his throat couldn't produce sound. He went to his locker to get his Mobile Phone, unlocked it, and handed it to Lu Heyang, his wrist trembling slightly.

Lu Heyang entered his own number, dialed it, and hung up after a few seconds. He returned the phone to Xu Ze. 'I generally don't carry my Mobile Phone with me. If you can't get through, you can leave a message.'

'Okay.'

'I'll head back to the Base now; I won't disturb your work.' Lu Heyang paused, then said, 'Doctor Xu, please get some rest.'

Xu Ze held the badge box with both hands like a squirrel clutching a pinecone, as if afraid someone might snatch it away. He nodded. 'Mm.'

After Lu Heyang left the changing room, Xu Ze stood in place for half a minute to collect himself, then put the badge back into his backpack and zipped it up. Usually he would just close the locker door without locking it, but today he locked it, turning the key two full rotations.

After turning the key, he realized he still hadn't changed out of his surgical scrubs — not good if the director saw him. Xu Ze had to open the locker again.

While descending in the elevator, his Military Communicator received a call from the Air Force medical system. Lu Heyang answered. 'Doctor Su, hello.'

A steady female Alpha voice came from the other end. 'Colonel Lu, during your time back in the Capital City, how have you been feeling?'

'Alright.'

'Still having that dream?'

'Yes.' The elevator doors opened; Lu Heyang walked out into the lobby. 'But I might be close to finding the answer.'

Stepping down the stairs — the sunlight was very good today. When the wind blew over, it carried a very faint, delicate fragrance. Lu Heyang turned his head to look to the right.

In the flower bed in front of Hospital 195, the Plum Blossom was blooming in full, rich fragrance.