Chapter 317: The Only Possible Extra Present Turn Spoof V

The planning for this one was successful.

Xue Meng proved that there is no such thing as an unbreakable c, only a player who doesn't try hard enough to break it up. In a game called "Mo Ran is not gay", a nickname he has secretly given to himself, player Xue Meng uses his ingenuity to break up the two devilish dogs and men.

He and his little dragon went through the guide, chose the heroine, made a plan and split up, one to keep an eye on little Mo Ran in the north of the park and one dragon to keep an eye on little Chu Wanning in the south, making sure that by the time Mo Ran got on the school bus and left in the dust at the end of the spring trip, not a sleeve of Chu Wanning's coat had been seen. The dragon kept an eye on little Chu Wanning in the south of the park.

Simply exciting.

"We did it."

"We have allowed Mo Ran to build friendships with girls."

"They will soon be the best of friends."

"When puberty comes they will be secretly together behind the parents' backs."

"Secret dates in school uniform after school"

"They would hide a box of sweet and creamy chocolates in each other's school bags."

"In the sudden downpour of rain during high school study nights, he would carry her on his back so as not to get her little pink shoes wet."

Xue Meng threw back his head and laughed: "Little pink shoes are a bit over the top." He paused, his eyes shining as he continued, "But it's a good idea to carry your girlfriend home in a rainstorm, Mo Ran from high school was about a metre tall."

Little dragon clattered through his guide: "6'6" to 6'9", depending on his fortune, but he'll be in that range."

"Gee, that's true." Xue Meng gave a subtle look of admiration and tried his best to keep it together, which caused him to end up with a facial expression like a toothache. He brushed off the unpleasant subject.

He didn't want little dragon to notice that he was wearing an inner height.

"All in all, they will have a smooth road to love." Xue Meng concludes, even paranoid, "It has to go well. Otherwise I won't be able to deal with Jiang Xi."

To ensure that Mo Ran and the girl are emotionally secure and undisturbed, Xue Meng and the others are prepared to keep watching for a while.

"We want to see Mo Ran's first date with a girl." little dragon said.

Xue Meng also joined in to speak, "Alone, no third party, although they can't call it a date at their age, but you're so smart you should be able to understand what we mean."

He had forgotten who had previously called the guide "artificially retarded".

"Just playing together, doing homework together, or doing something else together, playing house or something." He added after a moment's thought, "Anything like that."

In order to bleed the former shame of being called artificially retarded, the guide is precisely set back a week and three days.

It was a night when they were under a residential building in a neighbourhood. From the warm yellow light coming from the windows of many homes, the housewives in their kitchens busily cleaning pots and pans, the shouts of small children and the faint voice of the male news anchor, they could determine that it was currently around seven o'clock.

Xue Meng and little dragon waited for a while, but then Mo Ran appeared.

As expected, he was carrying a small school bag and a lunchbox bag with a pirated cartoon Pooh bear, whose nose was worn out, making the already unattractive pirated bear look even more hideous and ridiculous.

But all the hideousness and ridiculousness could be covered up by the smiling, chattering and cheerful girl beside him.

"My family lives on the first floor, my dad is away on a business trip but mum is home, don't be afraid, she's very nice." The little girl's eyebrows arched and her long eyelashes jumped with orange light, "Yesterday I told her you were coming to play and she told me there would be her fried egg yolk chicken wings tonight and cheesy whipped cream cake from the pastry shop at the door that has a queue. Do you like cheesy whipped cream cake?"

"I," Mo Ran mumbled, and Xue Meng noticed that his old sneakers had come unglued, "I've never had one of those."

The girl didn't laugh at him, she just froze for a moment then smiled cheerfully, "You'll like it, if you don't, let me have it all, but don't tell my mother, she's always worried I'll grow up to be a big fat boy eating like this."

Under the streetlight Mo Ran kept his head down and kicked at the small stones and dust on the road with his unglued sneakers. He's really killing himself by doing this, and his already miserable sneakers are becoming even more unsightly.

"You can't eat fat." After a moment, little Mo Ran muffled a grunt.

"What did you say?" the girl didn't hear.

"I said you can't eat fat." Despite the dim light, Xue Meng noticed that the little one's face seemed a little red, "If you like, I'll give you all the cake quietly."

He bit his lip and turned his face away, so that even the slow little dragon noticed that his ears were reddening: "I won't tell your mother."

little dragon jumped up and down around the two men, exclaiming shrilly, "Ah I just love this little girl"

"I love her too." Xue Meng laughed, "I told you, there are so many sweet, nice girls in the world, how can there be steel and iron faggots. You see, at this rate, we should be done soon."

"I can't wait to attend their wedding no, and see their baby straight away." little dragon looked like he was in a frenzy, going up to heaven one minute and into the next.

"What does it matter if I'm single or not dragon" he danced around, flicking non-existent tears with his little paws, "what does it matter if I'm single for a hundred years as long as my c gets married"

They followed Mo Ran upstairs with the little girl.

They watched as the two children ate dinner together, shared a piece of after-dinner cream cake, watched television together and did their homework together.

Ah, what a delightful bamboo friendship.

The first thing you need to do is to go to a gay bar and get a girlfriend.

At half past eight, one dragon and one man were content to say goodbye to the girl and her mother as Mo Ran went on his way to the last bus, followed by the two of them with a smile on their faces.

Mo Ran came to the girl's house a few more times, but so often that he was afraid of making a bad impression on her parents, so on those occasions he went around to the back of the building and used small, less sharp stones to lightly smash the girl's bedroom window.

"Manic adolescence comes early." Xue Meng commented with her arms clasped in front of her, but with a leery expression.

"I think this raid is foolproof."

But a little dragon might not be called a little dragon, and a fancy name for a raven's beak would probably suit it better.

Just after he said the word "foolproof", the force of Mo Ran's hand went off and instead of hitting the girl's window, the stone thudded against the next-door neighbour's glass window.

Two Xianxia staff members, who hadn't yet realised their fate was about to change, gloated: "Mo Ran is such a proactive and enthusiastic kid."

"And it's romantic."

"It's a very fond memory of them becoming boyfriend and girlfriend later on."

As you and I were having a good time thinking about the future, there was a sound of a fan opening and closing from the next window, and then a voice with a clear sense of impatience and sleepiness rang out, like nitrogen instantly condensing ice water, splashing Xue Meng's little dragon with a crash.

"Don't you think you're out of line to be out pranking at this late hour?"

Still a familiar recipe no, still a familiar voice. Still a familiar tone.

Xue Meng and little dragon gulped with a haunted look on their faces and then turned their heads trembling to look

"Ah."

"Ah."

One screamed more than the other, as if the death knell of doom had been sounded.

They both looked at each other and wailed in unison, "Fuck, Chu Wanning, why does he live next door to that girl?"

Reluctant.

How can they be willing to let fate reach out and slap them with impunity? How can they let the trumpet flower of their country turn into a gay, gay daisy?

"At least this time they had a very unpleasant meeting." Xue Meng tries to point out the crux of the matter, despite his own lack of energy.

"Yes." little dragon also tries to dig into the possibilities of how things could have played out, "This unpleasantness of their initial meeting should have also led to them not getting along amicably with each other."

"I think the Raiders can salvage a bit more this time."

"I think so too, let's at least see what happens in a year's time before we make a decision."

Once again, they agreed and used the Raider's Guide to whoosh to one night a year later.

It's the same neighbourhood, still at night.

Even Mo Ran is standing in the same position, under a street lamp that is not very bright and sometimes flickers and falters due to unstable voltage.

Even Mo Ran is still pelting the moonlit glassy windows with small stones.

But it wasn't the girl's window that he smashed, it was the window in Chu Wanning's bedroom next door.

"Tell me it's a coincidence." little dragon said in despair, "Tell me he just had a shaky hand, didn't hit it firmly and missed it again."

Xue Meng, still relatively sensible, did not say anything and his face was blue.

One wrong smash is an accident, ten wrong smashes are true love.

No one smashes the wrong window ten times in a row, so Mo Ran knocks on Chu Wanning's window and the person he wants to see is Chu Wanning, the little brother next door to the girl.

Fucking hell!

The window was open and the summer evening breeze wafted in with the fragrance of magnolia flowers, and by the whisking sheer curtain Chu Wanning, in her white children's plush pyjamas, despite her impatient and sleepy face, moved a stool and stood on tiptoe to look down.

"What are you doing here again." Chu Wanning leaned out of the window, yawning, his voice not too soft, and said lazily to Mo Ran, "Didn't we just finish playing ball together this afternoon"

Mo Ran waved at him without speaking under the streetlight, smiling, and he folded several paper aeroplanes and flew them at him, and eventually one finally flew into his room.

Chu Wanning unwraps the paper plane with a colourful drawing of a crayon diagram, that shows a white cat and a small dog, and a line of cream coloured pencil writing that reads

I forgot to say good night to you.

Have a good dream, we'll go to you tomorrow and I forgot how to write the word swimming pool.

Call up our good friend Ling, if she yuanyuan is a word I haven't learned how to write meaningfully.

Mo Ran

"So." little dragon almost twitched a little, "He and Chu Wanning ended up being us, and the cute girl next door became our friend."

Xue Meng is silent for a moment.

He was actually tempted to scour the nooks and crannies of his brain for some svelte and subtle sentence to express his disappointment at the moment. Even something so literary as Tang poetry, Song lyrics, Yuan opera and European opera that it gave him the usual goosebumps would do.

But no.

He finally managed to squeeze out of his teeth the expletive that burned the blood throughout his body.

"Fucking faggot, fuck you two."

"You'll revise your wording one last time."

"Never mind my choice of words I'm pissed off as hell right now."

"No." little dragon said, "I just want to remind you that if you're going to fuck his second master then you're a faggot too."

""

"It's still a grandfatherly relationship."