Chapter 94: 第 94 章

The fountain was lively all around — couples taking photos, children running, sunlight refracting through the high spray into a rainbow. Walking with Lu Heyang through the bright daylight and the crowd, Xu Ze felt unreal, perhaps because they had been talking on the phone for over a month straight, giving this encounter now a strange sense of meeting an online friend.

Lu Heyang took off his military jacket and draped it over his arm. Xu Ze thought for a moment, then asked: 'Shall we walk along the seaside promenade?'

The noise of the crowd was loud; Lu Heyang seemed not to have heard clearly. 'What?'

'To the seaside?' Xu Ze moved a little closer to him and asked again.

'Either is fine. You decide.'

After walking a few dozen meters, through the park's grove of trees, they saw the sea. The world around them grew suddenly much quieter, leaving only the sound of wind and tide.

'Are you settling in here alright?'

'Mm.' Xu Ze nodded. 'It feels like I've just changed labs.'

For someone like Xu Ze, who wasn't keen on socializing or entertainment, life indeed didn't differ much from one place to another.

'It's more livable here than the Capital City,' Lu Heyang said. 'And there's a lot of good food. Remember to eat a bit more.'

He had been eating almost exclusively at the Research Institute cafeteria this past month, and it would likely stay that way, but Xu Ze still answered calmly: 'Alright.'

He glanced at his watch, then looked to the right not far away, and asked Lu Heyang: 'Would you like some juice?'

'Sure.'

'I'll go buy it.' Xu Ze wasted no time at all; he turned and walked off as soon as he'd said it.

Lu Heyang's gaze followed Xu Ze's back to a shop about ten meters ahead on the right, watching him place his order and then wait to the side. Xu Ze's 'waiting' was simply waiting — no playing on his mobile phone, no looking around idly. He only checked his watch a few times in between, even though the juice-making process was actually very quick.

Xu Ze bought two cups of grape juice, because back in high school he had seen Lu Heyang drinking it, and as it happened, this shop was most famous for its grape juice. He also bought an egg tart, separately bagged in a paper sack held in his right hand.

Once he had his things, Xu Ze looked up. Lu Heyang was standing where he had left him, one hand resting on the railing as he took a call. The wind tousled his hair and stirred the military jacket hanging on the railing, making it sway back and forth.

It was a very short call. Xu Ze was halfway back when Lu Heyang returned the communicator to his waist and looked toward him.

Meeting his gaze, Xu Ze quickened his pace. After taking another three or four steps, a large seagull swooped in from the side and, with startling speed, snatched the egg tart from Xu Ze's hand, its wing even swatting his head in the process. Xu Ze stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the crumpled, empty paper bag in his hand, then at the seagull already flying far away.

Lu Heyang grabbed his jacket and walked over to Xu Ze, taking his wrist to check for any scratches.

'A colleague told me to be careful of seagulls when eating here,' Xu Ze said, coming to his senses. 'I forgot.'

'As long as you're not hurt.' Lu Heyang failed to suppress a smile. 'What did the seagull take?'

'An egg tart. I was going to ask if you wanted it.'

'It's fine. The juice is enough.'

Xu Ze nodded and took out one of the cups of grape juice. As Lu Heyang reached out to take it, Xu Ze saw the needle marks on the back of his hand — two or three of them. Around the freshest one lingered a faint, bluish circle.

He wanted to pretend he hadn't seen it, to act calm, but it was difficult. Xu Ze stared at the back of Lu Heyang's hand for several seconds before looking away.

They continued walking. The pedestrians around them gradually thinned. Xu Ze slowed his pace, falling a little behind Lu Heyang, and glanced sideways at the back of his neck. Beneath the collar of his shirt, he could faintly make out several needle marks on Lu Heyang's gland.

'What is it?' Lu Heyang turned his head.

'Nothing.' Xu Ze walked alongside him again.

They slowly came to a stop before a section of railing. Waves crashed against the stone wall beneath their feet. Xu Ze glanced at his watch again — he felt he had barely spoken a few words to Lu Heyang, yet nearly half an hour had already passed. This kind of countdown-style meeting was something he had experienced once many years ago; the impression was deep, and Xu Ze felt uneasy.

'You don't need to keep checking the time.' Lu Heyang raised a hand and lightly stroked Xu Ze's back. 'This isn't a goodbye. We'll see each other many more times.'

His unmoored heart seemed simultaneously steadied by that hand. Xu Ze asked: 'Will we?'

'We will.' Lu Heyang gave him a firm reply.

It was effective. Xu Ze visibly relaxed. He took a sip of his juice, hesitated a moment, then asked: 'Why is it always ninety points?'

During that month-plus of phone calls, at the end of many of them, Xu Ze would ask Lu Heyang how today's chat had been, like a customer service agent concerned about user ratings. The answer had always been ninety points.

Xu Ze wanted full marks. He needed Lu Heyang's suggestions for improvement.

'Because full marks *are* ninety points.' Lu Heyang turned his head to look at him. 'From the moment Doctor Xu took the initiative to call me the first time, it's been full marks.'

Xu Ze wore the same expression he'd had when the seagull stole his food and swatted his head. He heard himself ask Lu Heyang: 'Were you happy when you got my calls?'

'Mm, happy.' Lu Heyang said. 'I waited for your call every day. I'll keep waiting in the future, too, so don't forget.'

This caught Xu Ze completely off guard. When he had learned Lu Heyang was undergoing memory recovery therapy, he hadn't held out much hope. It was simply because Lu Heyang had taken that step, so he took one too. Staying in touch, calling every day — it wasn't to learn about Lu Heyang's treatment progress or to probe whether he had recovered any memories. Xu Ze only felt that this treatment was arduous. A day has twenty-four hours; a few minutes on the phone each evening wouldn't take up too much of Lu Heyang's time, but it could satisfy his own wish to accompany him.

That was all. Xu Ze hadn't known Lu Heyang was also waiting for his calls, hadn't known Lu Heyang would be happy because of them.

Suddenly, Xu Ze realized every decision held meaning, like a turning point. Before Lu Heyang decided on treatment, before he himself decided to stay in touch — even when kissing Lu Heyang, he had felt suspended and uneasy. But today Lu Heyang said he was happy, and Xu Ze felt his whole body filled up, substantial and real.

A bubble that would pop at a touch had become a plump, full sack of rice. Xu Ze didn't even realize he was smiling. He promised Lu Heyang: 'I'll call you every day in the future, too.'

Right after he said this, his mobile phone rang, as if on cue. Xu Ze said 'excuse me' to Lu Heyang, then answered his colleague's call; the other party was asking him about the location of some documents.

Seeing their conversation showed no sign of ending immediately, Lu Heyang took out his own mobile phone, intending to notify Gu Yunchi that he could go ahead to the Military District if he didn't want to wait. Instead, he found the other had sent him a file over half an hour earlier, named with a string of date numbers — a certain day in late summer, eight years ago.

Lu Heyang opened the file. His fingertip slid slowly across the screen, pausing on one particular page for at least fifteen seconds before continuing to scroll down.

After hanging up, Xu Ze deliberately checked the call duration — just over four minutes. Short. But that it had come during his time with Lu Heyang still made Xu Ze feel a pang.

He turned his head and found Lu Heyang looking at his mobile phone, his brow slightly furrowed. Xu Ze asked: 'Is something the matter?'

Just finishing the last page, Lu Heyang shifted his gaze from the screen to Xu Ze's face.

Xu Ze didn't quite understand the look Lu Heyang was giving him. It was a bit odd. He asked again: 'What is it?'

'Yun Chi sent me a physical examination report.' Lu Heyang looked at him and said, 'I don't really understand it.'

'If it's convenient, you could let me see it.' Xu Ze said. Though he didn't really understand either — clearly Gu Yunchi had military doctors and private physicians, why would he send an exam report to Lu Heyang?

Lu Heyang handed his mobile phone to Xu Ze. 'Sorry for the trouble.'

On the first page, Xu Ze sensed something off — this wasn't the format of a Military Hospital physical exam report. He skipped over the less critical items like height, weight, and eyesight, scrolling down to the blood work and pheromone indicators. Most were normal, but the few abnormal values were far too abnormal. Then, seeing the conclusion under the ultrasound report, the two words 'False Pregnancy' slammed into a distant corner of his memory. Stiffly, he flipped to the last page. The signature, the name 'Gu Yunchi' — the handwriting was unmistakably, entirely his own.

His thumb brushed the top of the screen, returning to the first page. Xu Ze saw that after the colon for 'Age', the number '17' was clearly printed.

The sea wind blew so that Xu Ze could no longer hear any other sound. He fumbled twice before finding the lock button, turned the screen off, and handed the mobile phone back to Lu Heyang.

Lu Heyang took the mobile phone and put it back in his pocket, then asked Xu Ze: 'And the child?'

'…There was no child.' Xu Ze felt dazed, transported back to that night long ago when Lu Heyang had discovered the pregnancy test. He lowered his eyes and said, 'It was only False Pregnancy.'

It was only at this moment that Xu Ze realized those old feelings of disappointment and emptiness were still there.

He thought Lu Heyang might ask 'Why didn't you tell me the truth before?' or say 'Don't lie in the future.' But neither came. Lu Heyang simply reached out a hand toward him.

Xu Ze raised his eyes, pausing uncertainly for two seconds, then took a step forward into Lu Heyang's space. With an unpracticed motion, he wrapped his arms around Lu Heyang's waist, lowered his head, and buried his face against Lu Heyang's shoulder.

On a seaside in a foreign land, where no one knew them, Xu Ze seized this embrace with a clear conscience.

Lu Heyang held Xu Ze, his right hand sliding up from Xu Ze's back to the nape of his neck, gently stroking it. He said: 'Give me a little more time.'

Xu Ze knew that his own awareness of Lu Heyang's treatment had already been guessed. He maintained this tacit understanding and replied: 'It's alright.'

It was alright if it needed a very long time; it was alright even if he never remembered in the end. Xu Ze possessed complete patience when it came to 'waiting'. He had prepared for the worst outcome many years ago, abandoning any expectation, and had lived through the years holding precisely that mindset.

That he could even embrace Lu Heyang like this again was already the best outcome Xu Ze could have imagined.

The orange light of sunset spread across the sea. Over two hours, from afternoon to evening, Xu Ze and Lu Heyang walked the entire length of the scenic path. Gu Yunchi sent a message, telling Lu Heyang the car was already waiting at the exit.

To reach the exit they had to pass through a narrow trail. When they were a third of the way along, Xu Ze gathered his courage, his heart pounding fiercely, and reached out to take Lu Heyang's hand. Lu Heyang glanced at Xu Ze, then clasped his hand in return.

It lasted less than two minutes. Before they finished the trail, Xu Ze consciously let go, only to glance up and see the military vehicle parked under a tree not far away. He worried that he had let go too late.

'Get some rest early today,' Xu Ze said.

He had taken a five-hour flight in the early hours, and hadn't even been able to nap after the meeting. The more Xu Ze thought about it, the more he felt like a thief stealing Lu Heyang's rest time.

'I'll rest after I call you,' Lu Heyang said, raising his hand and pressing the back of it briefly against the side of Xu Ze's neck. 'I should go now.'

'Mm.'

After getting in the car, Lu Heyang rolled down the window and waved at Xu Ze. Xu Ze stood in the evening glow, watching him unblinkingly.

The car started moving. Captain Yu in the passenger seat was dozing off. Gu Yunchi, looking at his mobile phone, remarked, 'I wonder how others would feel if they knew Colonel Lu spent two hours accompanying someone on a walk.'

'Doctor Xu's time is also precious,' Lu Heyang said. The entire cabin was filled with the fragrance of bread. He glanced toward the back seat, and what met his eyes was a half-meter-tall bundle of indeterminate contents.

'Is it all Bun inside?' he asked.

'Bought eighty of them,' Gu Yunchi said without looking up. 'If he likes them, let him eat his fill.'

The occasions requiring secret phone calls grew more and more frequent. The project at hand was entering a critical stage prior to submission. Xu Ze spent entire days in the lab or in front of his computer; those few minutes in the corridor at night talking to Lu Heyang became his most relaxed moments. In a way, Xu Ze felt it was actually Lu Heyang who was keeping him company.

Spring arrived in City S a little faster than in the Capital City. In less than two months, Xu Ze had completely shed his winter clothes, while the cold wind in the Capital City had yet to subside. Even Chi Jiahán complained over the phone that this winter was especially long.

A little past ten at night, Xu Ze was organizing experimental data when the door suddenly opened. A colleague appeared holding up his mobile phone, saying mysteriously, 'What to do — a traitor has appeared among us.'

Under the gaze of everyone, he pointed directly at Xu Ze. 'Congratulations! You have won this year's League 'Future Doctor' award!'

Before Xu Ze could even react, four or five hands were clapping his shoulder, wrapping around his waist, patting his back, clamoring for him to treat everyone to a meal. Huang Liling came in, saw them like this, and said with a smile, 'How come you got the news faster than I did?'

'Future Doctor' was the highest honor awarded to medical students across every Military Medical University in the League. It did not accept applications; recipients were generally chosen from among doctoral candidates, evaluated on journal publications, project approvals, clinical rotations, frontline support, and every other measure.

'Professor, is it confirmed? If it's confirmed, let Xu Ze treat us all to a late-night snack after we finish tonight.'

'It is confirmed,' Huang Liling said. 'As for the late-night snack, you'll have to ask Xu Ze.'

Xu Ze was still dazed. 'No problem,' he said.

After chatting for a while, everyone went back to their own tasks. Xu Ze was already distracted; after finishing organizing the data, he went to the corridor and sent Lu Heyang a message, asking if it was convenient to call.

Previously, he would receive a reply within half a minute. This time, he did not. Xu Ze waited five minutes, guessing Lu Heyang must be busy, so he sent him a message: I seem to have won an award. I have to treat everyone to a late-night snack later. Probably can't call today. See you tomorrow.

It wasn't until after he had finished the late-night snack with his colleagues and returned to his apartment that Xu Ze received Lu Heyang's message: Good. Get some rest.

Lu Heyang didn't ask what award it was — perhaps he wasn't very interested. It was already past midnight. Xu Ze resisted replying again, washed up, and went to bed.

When the mobile phone ringtone woke him, Xu Ze thought it was already dawn, but no light seeped through the gap in the curtains. He answered groggily, 'Hello?'

The breathing on the other end was a little heavy. Xu Ze was instantly alert. 'Colonel?'

'Did I wake you?' Lu Heyang said.

The sound of rain and faint, muffled thunder came through the phone. Xu Ze sat up in bed. 'What's wrong?'

'Had a nightmare.'

Three-thirty in the morning. Xu Ze did not believe Lu Heyang was the kind of person who would call at this hour just because he'd had a nightmare. He tried his best to control himself from making other assumptions, and asked softly, 'What dream?'

'Forgot when I woke up,' Lu Heyang's voice was very low. 'You said you seemed to have won an award. What award?'

'Future Doctor.' There will be an investiture ceremony in two weeks.'

'Congratulations.' Lu Heyang's breathing became a little lighter. 'The situation in the Western Theater Command hasn't been good lately. Have you received any notification about providing support?'

'I've already confirmed I can be on standby anytime,' Xu Ze said. 'After the project is submitted, I shouldn't be so busy for a while.'

'So you are a 'Future Doctor',' Lu Heyang seemed to smile.

Xu Ze lay back down. Listening to the continuous rain on the other end of the line, it was as if this city were raining too. He said, 'Does this call count as today's?'

'It's yesterday's. Today's call will be tonight.'

Xu Ze felt satisfied. The rain was lulling his brain. He half-closed his eyes and murmured, 'Then I can mark off yesterday's check.'

'What check?'

'Make a checkmark for each call.'

'Every day?'

'Mm.'

Question and answer. Xu Ze didn't remember how he finally fell asleep, only that Lu Heyang said 'good night' and he echoed it. Yet it seemed like a long time later that Xu Ze faintly heard the 'beep' when the call ended.

Half a month later, the 'Future Doctor' Honor Badge investiture ceremony was held as scheduled. The awardees came from different Military Medical Universities across the League, nine in all.

Huang Liling was dressed more formally than if he himself were receiving an award, but his expression was rather grave.

'Leaving for the war zone at two in the morning, Xu Ze — you really are something,' he said, almost out of breath. 'So you get the award, have a meal with everyone, and then head straight to the battlefield, is that it?'

'It's to the War Zone Central Military Hospital. It's not exactly the front line. It won't be very dangerous,' Xu Ze reassured him.

Huang Liling waved a hand, not wanting to say more. He picked up his thermos and took a big gulp of tea, then went to sit in the leadership seats.

Xu Ze was the third to go on stage. Over his black formal suit he wore a brand-new white lab coat, looking upright and clean. The one conferring the honor upon him was a Medical General from the League General Headquarters.

That Honor Badge, engraved on the back with his name and university, was properly pinned to his white coat. Xu Ze accepted the trophy and bowed to the General amid the flashes of cameras.

After the investiture ceremony came individual award acceptance speeches. During the interlude, Xu Ze took a photo of the trophy and sent it to Lu Heyang and Chi Jiahán. He truly didn't have many people with whom he could genuinely share joy — Chi Jiahán had always been one, and now Lu Heyang was added to that list.

Chi Jiahán replied quickly: If I weren't tied up at the institute, I could be touching your trophy right now.

After about ten minutes, it was Xu Ze's turn to take the stage. His acceptance speech was already well-rehearsed. Under the spotlight, Xu Ze felt no particular nervousness; his voice was steady and clear when he began. Huang Liling sat in the audience, watching his quiet, intelligent student with a mixture of worry and pride.

As he watched, Huang Liling noticed that this quiet, intelligent student seemed a little off.

Xu Ze had been maintaining a gaze slightly lowered toward the center of the audience seats, but a figure suddenly appeared in his peripheral vision, strangely drawing his eyes to the right.

His fluent speech halted abruptly for a full second before continuing. Xu Ze thought he must be seeing things. He tilted his head slightly toward the front right.

In the dim light, an Alpha stood in simple clothes, holding a bouquet of pure white flowers. He stood outside the audience seating, a vague smile on his face, like a picture from a memory.

Xu Ze met his gaze from afar, his heart racing wildly as he brought his acceptance speech to its conclusion.

As the speech ended, the stage lights brightened somewhat. Lu Heyang's face became clearly illuminated, his gaze as well — Xu Ze saw Lu Heyang's eyes clearly just as the final word left his lips.

He froze abruptly, a buzzing tinnitus ringing in his ears. He almost forgot to bow and started to step off the stage, but the host promptly came forward, reminding Xu Ze there were still a few questions for him to answer.

The questions had been discussed beforehand; he could answer without thinking. Xu Ze was asked to return to his original position. When he looked again, Lu Heyang had already vanished, only the door swaying gently.

The memory of the subsequent time on stage did not enter Xu Ze's mind. His thoughts only began functioning again the moment he stepped off the stage. Xu Ze did not go backstage; he went straight out through the door beside the audience seating.

He ran through the empty corridor, all the way to the end, out a side door. Outside was a dim yellow streetlamp and swaying tree shadows. Xu Ze stood by the roadside, panting. He suspected he had dreamed it all. He hoped it wasn't just a dream.

A faint rustling sound of plastic came from behind him. Early spring, yet Xu Ze actually caught the scent of Plum Blossom.

'Xu Ze.'