Chapter 83

Xu Ze was stunned for a few seconds, then caught himself. Since it wouldn't be polite to casually open someone else's storage compartments in the car, he could only hand the condom over to Lu Heyang.

Strangely, there was no great surge of feeling in him at that moment. Xu Ze accepted the thing with perfect calm. It was normal, after all. Reasonable. Outside the range of anything he had any right to ask about or pursue.

"Why are you giving it to me?" Lu Heyang asked.

Xu Ze didn't look at him. Not quite understanding, he asked back: "Then where should it go?"

Lu Heyang looked at him for a moment, then opened his palm. "Give it here."

He placed the thing in Lu Heyang's hand, and Xu Ze quietly buckled his seatbelt. He felt he probably ought to say something — crack some natural Alpha-to-Alpha joke, so as not to seem so strange — but for him it was genuinely difficult.

His senses were beginning to dull. Xu Ze lowered his head and stared at his own hand in a daze. After a while, he gradually realized the car still hadn't started.

Xu Ze looked up at Lu Heyang with a trace of confusion, only to find Lu Heyang already looking at him. The light inside the car wasn't harsh — warm yellow, falling across Lu Heyang's lashes and pressing them down. Xu Ze stiffly turned his head away.

"What are you thinking about." Lu Heyang started the car and asked at the same time.

"Nothing." Xu Ze gave a small shake of his head.

After they had slowly wound their way out of the parking lot and driven on for some distance, Lu Heyang suddenly said: "Is it because the badge credits ran out?" He turned to glance at Xu Ze, then looked back at the road. "Dr. Xu's honesty seems to come rather expensive. Too bad I didn't bring my card today."

It took a moment of thought to grasp Lu Heyang's implication, and once he connected it with what Chi Jiahán had said — *you can't act at all, you can't hide anything in front of him* — Xu Ze felt a wave of regret. If only he hadn't seen the condom. If only he hadn't picked it up.

"I'm thinking about what movie we're going to see." Xu Ze answered. Though he had only just now, in the space of a second, urgently thought of this — still, he had been thinking about it. It wasn't dishonest.

Hearing this, Lu Heyang glanced at Xu Ze once more before answering: "I'm not sure either. We'll see when we get there."

"All right."

More than twenty minutes later, they arrived outside the Drive-In Theater — a broad stretch of grass by the lakeshore. The ticket booth looked like a highway toll booth. The attendant glanced into the car, confirmed the headcount, and handed out two tickets.

Driving further in, there were three large screens in all, and already more than a dozen cars parked on the lawn, their fronts pointed in various directions. Lu Heyang pulled up in front of the screen on the right and stopped.

He handed the movie ticket to Xu Ze. Seeing him pause, Lu Heyang asked: "You've seen it, haven't you."

The way he asked meant he had already guessed. Xu Ze could only nod. "Mm. Saw it last month."

It had been a crime-action film. The Sanatorium had issued movie tickets, and it happened that Xu Ze had just finished an experimental project, so Chi Jiahán invited him along — the first time in all their years of knowing each other that the two of them had gone to a movie together.

"With a friend?" Lu Heyang asked, reaching out to tune the frequency.

"Yes. With a friend." Xu Ze looked out the window. "I'll go get us something to drink."

"Together." Once the channel was tuned and the opening music began playing in the car, Lu Heyang pushed open his door.

It was a small bus converted into a vending cart. An Omega with twin ponytails stood behind the window, greeting them with a sweet smile: "Hello, gentlemen! Juice, milk tea, mineral water, cake, fried chicken, popcorn — what can I get you?"

"What would you like?" Lu Heyang asked.

Xu Ze stood about forty centimeters away from him. "Grapefruit juice. I don't need anything else."

"Two grapefruit juices."

"Okay! Just a moment!"

While the Omega peeled and squeezed the grapefruit, Lu Heyang looked past her. "Are the flowers for sale?"

"Yes!" The Omega stepped aside, revealing a four-tier flower rack against the inner wall of the bus. Earlier she hadn't been able to determine the relationship between these two Alphas, so she hadn't pushed the bouquets. Now that Lu Heyang had asked, she introduced: "Each bouquet has a tag. You can buy a single bunch, or mix different flowers together."

"Liatris Flowers." Lu Heyang gave the rack a brief scan and decided quickly.

"All right — how many stems?"

"Seventeen." After saying it, Lu Heyang lowered his head to his Military Communicator and began typing a reply.

"Okay, just a moment!" The Omega fitted straws into the two grapefruit juices, turned back, and counted out seventeen white Liatris Flowers from the rack, cut a few stems of apple eucalyptus for decoration, and wrapped the whole bouquet in a creamy matte paper.

The Omega's hands were deft, her movements quick and crisp; the Liatris bouquet came out simple and quietly elegant. Snipping off the excess pale-green ribbon with her scissors, she held the bouquet straight out to Xu Ze: "Have a lovely evening, gentlemen!"

Throughout, Xu Ze had been watching in silence — a bystander, watching flowers that belonged to someone else. When the bouquet was brought before him, he turned his head and found Lu Heyang already holding a grapefruit juice in each hand, with no hand left for the flowers. So Xu Ze helped him take them, in a gesture almost like *carrying*, and walked back alongside Lu Heyang.

Back at the car, Lu Heyang set the grapefruit juices between the seats, while Xu Ze still stood outside the car, holding the flowers.

"What's wrong?"

Xu Ze looked a little troubled. "Where should the flowers go?"

The bouquet wasn't especially large or heavy — it would do to rest on his lap. Lu Heyang asked him: "Is it inconvenient to hold?"

"I can hold it for now." Xu Ze was genuinely worried about the bouquet's future fate. "But later, when you drive back alone, you'll only be able to set it on the seat, and a few of the stems might get crushed."

Because the wrapping was relatively simple, it would crush easily — and crushed flowers didn't look good. If they were meant for someone, it would seem less than perfect.

Lu Heyang looked at him for a moment, then leaned over and opened the passenger door. "Get in first."

"All right." Xu Ze climbed in carefully, still holding the flowers.

The light from the big screen spilled into the car. The film had already begun, but Lu Heyang turned the volume down and said: "Who do you think the flowers are for?"

Xu Ze looked at the big screen, but wasn't really seeing any of the images. He said: "I don't know."

"What if they're for you?"

Xu Ze's brow creased, very faintly — whether from bewilderment or confusion, he couldn't have said. If time could flow backward — not far, only back to before they'd left the restaurant — if at that moment Lu Heyang had given him a bouquet, Xu Ze would certainly have accepted it. Would have been glad.

"Could you not give them to me?" Xu Ze finally answered, in just that way.

Even his refusal had to take the form of a question. Lu Heyang smiled, opened his Military Communicator, and held it out to Xu Ze.

No one other than its user might, for any reason, use or view the Military Communicator — a rule written into military discipline — which left Xu Ze unable to reach out and take it. He could only look at Lu Heyang.

"If anyone finds out I showed it to you, as the holder of the communicator, I'd be locked up too." Lu Heyang said it lightly. "Might even end up in the cell opposite yours."

Assured by his future cellmate, Xu Ze stopped hesitating and took the communicator. The contact on the screen was Song Yuke.

"Scroll up."

Xu Ze obediently scrolled up a little, to around the time they'd bought the grapefruit juice, and saw Lu Heyang had sent a license plate number: *Check who was using this car last time.*

Song Yuke: Received.

Half a minute later, Song Yuke: It's Captain Liu of the Information Department. After the car was brought back, since it was already quite late, it didn't make it in for the unified cleaning that day. It was originally scheduled to be cleaned this evening, but you took the car out again. Is there a problem?

Lu Heyang: What's the story with the condom in the car.

Song Yuke: I'll ask.

Another half minute. Song Yuke: [Image]

Song Yuke: Colonel, this is the hotel room record Captain Liu just provided. He says the condom fell into the car by accident yesterday — they didn't do anything in the military vehicle.

Song Yuke: Colonel, Captain Liu says he'll submit a report to you right away.

Lu Heyang: No need.

Song Yuke: Understood.

The conversation ended. Xu Ze turned off the communicator and wiped the back of his hand across it, so as not to leave his fingerprints. He handed the communicator back to Lu Heyang, saying nothing at all, looking as though he hadn't yet caught up with what had just happened.

"Can you accept the flowers now?" Lu Heyang asked.

Xu Ze was still holding the flowers in that same posture. He needed time to digest the two facts — *the condom belonged to someone else* and *the flowers were for him.* After a while, he asked: "Why are you giving me flowers?"

"Because Dr. Xu is keeping me company to watch a film you've already seen."

"It's nothing." Xu Ze believed this reason quite readily. "The film is very popular. Watching it again is fine."

"I'm not really sure. I've been out of touch with society for a long time." Lu Heyang picked up a grapefruit juice, took a sip, and set it down again.

Actually, Xu Ze wasn't sure either. It had been Chi Jiahán who explained it to him while they were watching the film.

Xu Ze laid the bouquet carefully across his lap, very deliberately arranging the wrapping paper and the lower flowers, doing what he could to keep them from being crushed. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he asked: "Is it very dull, being in the war zone for long stretches?"

"A little." Lu Heyang looked at the screen. "So understand Captain Liu, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." This time Xu Ze grasped Lu Heyang's meaning rather quickly. He picked up a grapefruit juice.

A few seconds later, Lu Heyang suddenly glanced down at the side of the driver's seat, then looked at Xu Ze. The light from the screen flickered on and off with the changing scenes, falling across the side of his face. Lu Heyang called to him: "Dr. Xu."

The straw pressed against the tip of his tongue. Xu Ze gave it a small bite. Not knowing what was coming, he answered: "Mm?"

"That one looks like mine." Lu Heyang reminded him.

Xu Ze froze. He looked at the grapefruit juice in his hand. After a beat of absolute silence, he asked: "What do I do?"

"Don't make that face. It's not anything serious." Lu Heyang reached out a hand toward him. "Give it here."

"I bit it." Xu Ze didn't move, adding: "The straw."

"Bit or not, it's still mine."

Xu Ze thought Lu Heyang was laughing, though there was no smile on his face. This cup absolutely should not be handed back to Lu Heyang. Xu Ze shifted the grapefruit juice to the other side, a little further from Lu Heyang's fingertips. He said: "Mine hasn't been touched. You have that one."

"All right." Lu Heyang withdrew his hand and picked up the other cup.

The film moved quickly; after a third of the plot had passed, it became a brand-new movie for Xu Ze, because when he'd watched it with Chi Jiahán he had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion.

The protagonist discovers that his lover has gone missing, frantically calls the number, rummages through drawers amid a string of busy tones searching for an important letter, and finally collapses in tears — Xu Ze watched this time with full attention.

The car window was open, and the late-summer evening breeze drifted in, carrying the faint scent of liatris flowers. Lu Heyang's hand slid along the cup's surface, his gaze lingering on the screen, when he suddenly asked: "A call that won't go through — would you keep dialing?"

His first reaction was that Lu Heyang was discussing the film's plot, but on reflection it seemed to be more than that. Xu Ze pulled himself out of the story, still watching the screen, and after a silence answered: "If it were someone important, yes."

The exchange ended, and the car fell quiet again.

The film ended, the credits began to roll, and Lu Heyang set down the grapefruit juice. His hand had just settled on the gearshift when a microphone sounded from somewhere outside: "We're so glad everyone's here to finish the movie together! As per tradition, our last segment is the Kiss Cam — please keep your eyes on the screen! The selected audience will receive a free ticket for tonight!"

Everyone clapped and cheered. Xu Ze didn't know what a Kiss Cam was; he looked at the screen, which had switched to a live feed of the theater grounds — dozens of vehicles with their marker lights on, lively and spectacular.

The image split into three — three cameras from different angles — and then the lens zoomed in, and in again. A bright spotlight suddenly fell across his face. Xu Ze squinted against the glare and saw his own face and Lu Heyang's appear on the screen.

Xu Ze felt at a loss, unsure what he was supposed to do. He asked Lu Heyang: "What does it mean?"

Lu Heyang didn't look at him, only tilted his chin up, signaling Xu Ze to keep watching the screen.

The surrounding cars began flashing their hazard lights, whistles rising without pause. Xu Ze looked back at the screen — he thought he must be seeing wrong: in the other two frames, the audience members caught on camera had begun kissing.

Pink heart bubbles rose in drifts across the screen, while Xu Ze and Lu Heyang sat properly upright between two pairs of couples locked in passionate kisses — conspicuously out of place.

"Okay! We can see Groups One and Three have completed perfectly, but the two in Group Two seem a little shy — can everyone give them some more encouragement?"

The cheers and whistles grew louder. Xu Ze didn't feel shy; what he wanted most right now was to find wherever the host was hiding and have a proper word with him, to make him let Group Two off the hook.

Lu Heyang closed the car window, sealing out the noise. Xu Ze's ears found relief. He figured Lu Heyang was about to drive off, so he reached for his seatbelt — but before he could find it, he heard Lu Heyang call: "Doctor Xu."

Lu Heyang's voice made everything else recede into the distance. Xu Ze turned and saw Lu Heyang turning his head as well, his right face hidden in shadow, his left face lit by the spotlight. A countenance of alternating light and dark — features and bone structure that, in any light, could find no flaw.

"Do you mind?" Lu Heyang asked, as naturally as when he'd earlier asked whether Xu Ze wanted to watch a movie together — only his gaze remained unreadable.

Xu Ze looked at him without moving. Saying "I mind" to Lu Heyang was something he would never do, but saying "I don't mind" — given where he and Lu Heyang currently stood — would be wrong, and shouldn't be said.

Neither "I mind" nor "I don't mind" could be spoken. What to do, Xu Ze couldn't think it through in time, and chose a fool's way of covering his own ears to steal a bell — he shook his head.

Like a dim, not-quite-real dream, Xu Ze saw Lu Heyang lean toward him a little. Lu Heyang reached out and cupped the back of Xu Ze's neck, drawing him closer; with his other hand he removed Xu Ze's glasses, then tilted his head slightly and leaned in again.

Xu Ze heard his own heartbeat. Lu Heyang's lashes, the bridge of his nose, and his lips were very close — so close his eyes couldn't focus.

Lu Heyang's gaze swept past the corner of Xu Ze's mouth; his chin grazed Xu Ze's jaw as it passed, and finally he lowered his head, his left cheek lightly pressing against Xu Ze's right.

It was actually more like an embrace — a simple closeness of body temperature and Pheromone. But regardless, from the screen it looked like Lu Heyang had kissed Xu Ze on the right cheek. The misdirection was passable enough; the Kiss Cam segment was barely completed.

Before straightening up and parting, Lu Heyang said to Xu Ze: "Thank you, Doctor Xu, for treating me to a movie."

Because of his cooperation, tonight's ticket should be free, so from Lu Heyang's perspective it was Xu Ze who had treated him to a film. Xu Ze could only manage a thin breath of sound: "You're welcome."

The return trip was only a little over half an hour. Though short, wasting it would mean no next time. Xu Ze forced himself to become talkative; he asked: "Colonel, are you still in touch with Gu Colonel?"

Perhaps a little surprised by Xu Ze's mention of Gu Yunchi, Lu Heyang slowly pressed the brake, easing the speed: "You mean Yun Chi?"

"Yes."

"We're in different war zones. We don't keep in touch much."

"Gu Colonel won't be back in the Capital City for a while, will he?"

Lu Heyang didn't answer directly, only smiled: "Are you and Yun Chi close, Doctor Xu?"

"Not really." Xu Ze said. "Just... asking."

Back in high school, Lu Heyang had once, through Gu Yunchi, deposited over 2.4 million into accounts for Ye Yunhua at the Sanatorium and the Second Hospital; the remaining sum was later transferred to Xu Ze's account. Over the years Xu Ze had been steadily adding to that card — scholarship money, salary, project fees — hoping that one day he could return the principal and interest to Lu Heyang.

But Lu Heyang no longer remembered, so the money still needed to be returned through Gu Yunchi. Xu Ze's idea was to talk to Gu Yunchi, have him pass the money back to Lu Heyang under some other pretext, without mentioning Xu Ze. But Gu Yunchi had been away from the Capital City too long, so all Xu Ze could do was ask Lu Heyang.

"Not sure. Maybe we'll have to wait for the next ceasefire. It shouldn't be too long."

"Mm." Xu Ze nodded.

At the apartment building, Xu Ze still hadn't managed to ask when Lu Heyang would be leaving the Capital City. They both got out of the car. Xu Ze, holding the liatris flowers and the unfinished grapefruit juice, said to Lu Heyang: "Drive carefully on the way back."

"All right." Lu Heyang took that condom out of his pocket and handed it to Xu Ze.

Seeing Xu Ze standing there unmoving, Lu Heyang said: "Could you throw it away for me?"

"...All right." Xu Ze took the condom.

"Xu Ze?"

Xu Ze turned around and saw Chi Jiahán walking out of the apartment building's main entrance.

"Back this late?" Chi Jiahán said, coming down the steps. "I was just about to—"

Noticing the military vehicle, Chi Jiahán stopped speaking. Once he made out the Alpha standing in front of Xu Ze, Chi Jiahán simply halted where he was.

It had indeed been a very, very long time since he'd seen this face. Until now, Chi Jiahán could barely picture what Lu Heyang actually looked like at present. The League was hardly short of men like Lu Heyang — born into high-ranking official families, educated at the Military Academy, they graduated and entered the League's political system, took part in decision-making, gave speeches, traversed both military and political circles, all in pursuit of maximized power. In his own circles, Chi Jiahán had seen many such people.

But Lu Heyang seemed to draw this line very clearly, never touching anything political. The one time he appeared on camera over the years had even been an accident — a journalist was describing the post-war situation when the camera happened to catch Lu Heyang in the distance, climbing down from a fighter jet, removing his helmet to speak with soldiers. The tall Alpha stood beside the fighter, his hair uncombed, a little messy, falling loosely across his forehead. In the yellow smoke of the setting sun, that blurred profile lent an ordinary news shot a mysterious, distant, untouchable beauty.

Chi Jiahán's first reaction on scrolling across this news was that Xu Ze would probably use a USB drive to save the clip specifically — Xu Ze might be, after scavengers, the most talented person at picking up scraps and odds and ends.

"What brings you here?" Xu Ze asked.

"A friend's birthday, went to his place for a get-together." Chi Jiahán kept walking forward, his gaze at Lu Heyang not exactly warm or friendly. "Is he a friend of yours? Aren't you going to introduce us?"

In some ways, Xu Ze felt Chi Jiahán was sometimes like He Wei — not entirely controllable.

"Jiahán." Xu Ze called him.

"Just kidding." Chi Jiahán laughed drily. "Colonel Lu probably doesn't remember me either. Chi Jiahán."

"Hello." Lu Heyang did not answer whether he remembered Chi Jiahán.

"I'll come up to your room in a bit." Chi Jiahán said to Xu Ze.

"All right."

Xu Ze looked back at Lu Heyang. After a brief exchange of glances, Lu Heyang said: "I'll head off first."

"Drive carefully."

"Mm." Lu Heyang gave Chi Jiahán a slight nod, opened the door, and got in.

"He's gone, stop staring." Chi Jiahán took Xu Ze's wrist and pulled him up the steps. "The looks you two were just giving each other were way too weird."

"Wait a moment." Passing the trash can, Xu Ze threw the condom in.

Chi Jiahán's expression turned complicated: "Did you sleep with him?"

"No. Found it in the car."

"So he slept with someone else?"

"No. Another officer left it behind."

"You actually believe that?"

"I do."

Chi Jiahán gave him a hopeless look, then leaned in to look at the flowers in Xu Ze's hand: "He gave you these?"

"...Sort of."

"Why does it feel like a date? Xu Ze, I can see you're about to be taken in by him again." Chi Jiahán said. "Do you know what liatris flowers symbolize? Eternal love, hopeless love. Which do you think you two are?"

Xu Ze said nothing. Chi Jiahán went on: "Did you know Lu Heyang's sister has been missing for years? And her ex-boyfriend vanished too — no one knows if he's alive or dead."

The Council Chairman's daughter, a League diplomat, vanished from public view overnight. Rumors abounded, but the truth would be sealed away completely — no one would ever know.

'Even if no one can control or touch Lu Heyang now, what about you — are you absolutely safe? You've barely had a few peaceful years, Xu Ze. Wake up, alright?' An An said.

Xu Ze understood Chi Jiahán's concern, but couldn't figure out how to tell him not to worry — because no matter how he explained it, Chi Jiahán wouldn't believe him.

Lu Heyang pulled the car to the side of the road and picked up the phone.

"Colonel Lu, regarding that number you gave me before — I looked into it. The results were a little... a little unusual, so I specifically confirmed it from multiple angles, which is why I'm only reporting to you today."

"What results."

"The call and message records for this number have a completely blank year — the very year you asked me to check."

"Manually deleted?"

"Most likely. Even if the number wasn't used that year, it shouldn't be completely blank. The most likely explanation is manual deletion."

"Can you find out who did it?"

"I went through the relevant telecom department operations over the past five years — no leads. So it was probably deleted more than five years ago. And if it was deleted under a special order, it would be even harder to trace."

Lu Heyang wasn't too surprised: "All right. I understand."