Chapter 33: This is going to be the world falling apart

Ye Yao is so distant from him, so determined in his voice, that Lu Xun is half sitting on the bed, the bruises on the back of his hand holding the bedside rail.

What does it mean to give up illusions that you shouldn't have?

All nerves were screaming to pull Ye Yao, who was far away from him, into his arms and restore everything to the way it was before.

But he can't do that now.

"Sleep over." Lu Xun's voice was deep.

Ye Yao did not say anything, but just looked at Lu Xun quietly.

Lu Xun took two breaths and eased his voice, "I won't do anything, you see, we used to sleep like this even when we didn't have the same bed and I didn't bother you."

Ye Yao pursed his lips as he glanced under the bed, his eyes sweeping over the other members of the dormitory.

Xiao Pang and Wen Ke were actually both in the dormitory, except that they were playing a game with their headphones on, occasionally voicing out the lines and concentrating.

In retrospect, since he started staying out at weekends and then returning to the dormitory, Xiao Pang and Wen Ke's frequency of having their headphones on increased dramatically, as if they were afraid of hearing some secret news.

Ye Yao once again locked eyes with Lu Xun, who looked at him unblinkingly, his previous harsh words not giving Lu Xun the slightest idea of backing down.

Ye Yao sighed and instead of lying down to talk to Lu Xun again, he sat up and moved to the end of the bed where he was close to Lu Xun.

Lu Xun's voice was tight: "Now I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you, just trying to sleep head to head in two beds is a fantasy too?"

Ye Yao lowered his voice and tried to reason with Lu Xun calmly: "Lu Xun, I like men, you already know that."

"So what?" Lu Xun asked quickly and quietly in return.

"So sleeping so close together is not good for you or me." Ye Yao said slowly, "That's something you should think about better than I do."

Lu Xun eyes Ye Yao with a sullen gaze, the tips of his fingers whitening as he grips the bedside rail.

"Knowing you were homophobic, it was my fault for hiding so much physical contact with you before, and I apologize for that. With the difference in our status now, there is a lot of contact that is not allowed anymore." Ye Yao put the record straight, if it was before he would have had to rack his brain for excuses, but now he could say it openly.

Lu Xun's expression is stiff and Ye Yao cannot tell what he is thinking.

Probably he couldn't let go of the friendship and was torn by the difference in aptitudes between them.

"Don't you apologise to me, you ......" Lu Xun took a deep breath, Ye Yao's apology hitting a deeper nerve than his previous words.

Many people say in a playful tone that wives can do no wrong, and if they do, please re-read the ordinance Wives Can Do No Wrong.

But as far as Lu Xun is concerned, he is serious that Ye Yao can do no wrong, and if it appears to be wrong, it must be the fault of someone else.

For example, it's definitely his fault now.

Lu Xun scratched his hair as he suddenly fell down in frustration, "It's my fault, I used to do that kind of thing all the time and call gay men disgusting in front of you, feel free to scold me."

Ye Yao softened his voice, "You didn't know about this before, and now that we've talked sense into each other, you can go sleep at the other end too Lu Xun, it's not good for me to use my feet on you."

Ye Yao's gentle persuasion did not help either. After all the reasoning, Lu Xun refused without hesitation: "I don't want to. I want to sleep on this side."

"......" Ye Yao said, "...... whatever you want, I can't force you."

Ye Yao watched Lu Xun lie down in this direction before reaching out and pulling up the curtain hanging at the end of the bed.

He always had bed curtains on his bed, which were drawn up at night on weekdays to the outside so that he could not see what he was doing, whether on the opposite bed or down over to the desk, to guarantee some personal privacy.

The area where his bed meets Lu Xun's is also covered with curtains, but they are basically decorative and have never been drawn before.

Now, Ye Yao draws the little curtain over the bed.

"You're actually pulling the bed curtain?" Lu Xun on the other side of the bed curtain said in shock.

"Then I can't really let you look up and see my feet, I can't feel bad about it." Ye Yao said.

"What do you care if I don't care?" Lu Xun said urgently, "Quickly pull back the curtain of the bed."

"Of course I care, I'm not used to doing bad things." Ye Yao was not persuaded, "And don't you sneak up the curtain of my bed in the middle of the night, I've marked this side."

Lu Xun did not speak again and Ye Yao resumed lying down on the bed.

The only sounds left in the dormitory were the occasional sounds of Wen Ke and Xiao Pang playing a game. Ye Yao took out his phone after lying down for a while and saw a message from Lu Xun.

Lu Xun didn't send anything like angry and rage and cut him off, but sent him an emoji he had used before.

It's still the same little round-headed shark poking its head out from the wall with the words: [Any cuties at home?

Ye Yao looked at it for a moment and moved his finger to reply: [Good night, go to bed early].

*

At midnight, when the lights went out in the dormitory, Ye Yao, who had fallen asleep, opened his eyes.

His bed is cut off from the outside by a bed curtain, so that he cannot see outside.

Ye Yao rose slowly without making any sound, he switched the position of his head and feet and came to lie down in the same position as Lu Xun, and through a thin bed curtain they were once again head to head.

Ye Yao closed his eyes.

He really wasn't used to doing bad things, even if it was a stranger across the room, and he wasn't likely to put his foot to someone's head, let alone Lu Xun who was his best friend.

Never mind, Lu Xun won't know anyway, so let's leave it at that.

*

At half past two in the morning, the vast majority of people in the hostel had gone to sleep.

Except for one person.

Lu Xun gropes quietly and rolls out of bed.

He knows that Ye Yao sleeps very regularly and cannot be awake now.

He couldn't sleep.

He wanted to look at it, just for a second.

The curtain on the side of Ye Yao's bed close to him is marked, the one on the outside is not marked, is it?

Lu Xun sneaks up to Ye Yao's bed like a thief and carefully lifts the curtain to look inside.

The night is poorly lit, with only the dim light from the corridor lamp outside shining through the glass above the door into the dormitory. Lu Xun can't see for a moment, so he squinted and looked carefully.

...... How does it seem wrong? Where's the head? There's no head.

Ye Yao did you bury your whole head under the covers?

Lu Xun thought, "This is not good, there is no fresh air to breathe, so he reached out and tried to get some of Ye Yao's blanket off.

Lu Xun fiddled with the covers with great care and still did not see Ye Yao's head, but instead saw a little blur of what looked like a toe.

Ye Yao does not sleep on this side.

The moment this thought flashed through Lu Xun's mind, his heart beat wildly.

Lu Xun lowered the curtain on this side of the bed and quickly reached the other side, and this time he saw what he wanted to see.

Ye Yao, sleeping peacefully, even as a silhouette, carries the power to make Lu Xun happy and excited.

Lu Xun had always felt that a man should not cry, but he still couldn't help the swelling of his eyes when he saw Ye Yao quietly change direction.

He was already prone to mood swings because of Ye Yao, and now it was like his whole heart had collapsed into a square.

How can there be such a person who is so soft-hearted even towards a bad guy like him?

Lu Xun did not reach out to touch Ye Yao's face or hair, but just watched Jing Jing. After a while, Lu Xun found one of Ye Yao's hands on the edge of the bed.

So he slowly moved over and pressed his forehead against the back of Ye Yao's hand.

Like a vicious dog, it is kissing the fingertips of its owner.

*

Life and studies went on as usual and there was no shortage of various sporting activities because of the need for all-round moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetic development.

The men's college favorite recreational basketball game is back, and thanks to someone's underhandedness, this time it's still a recreational game between finance and law.

The weather is not as cold as it was in the winter, everyone is wearing thinner clothes, and with spring being such a vibrant time of year, the basketball game was a blast.

By the end of the game, everyone was drenched in sweat.

Ye Yao was in a hurry to get here after a few questions in class and didn't have time to buy water, so he wiped off his sweat and planned to buy a bottle of water from the kiosk outside the gym.

An unfamiliar voice came from behind Ye Yao: " Ye Yao, did you not bring any water with you? I'll give you this bottle of water, I haven't drunk it."

Ye Yao turned around and saw someone who looked familiar. Ye Yao frowned slightly and remembered that this person had played a basketball game with him before. Because he had helped this man, he had invited him to a milk tea shop for a cup of milk tea and had a casual chat.

At the back Lu Xun came over and told him that this man was chasing him.

"I don't think you remember me, my name is Yan Xing." Yan Xing said with a smile, "I heard you were playing and rushed over, I felt you were good when I played with you last time, and watching from the sidelines this time, I really do have top-notch skills!"

"Thanks." Ye Yao said, "No need for water, I'll buy it outside later."

Yan Xing continued with a smile, "Why are you so polite? A bottle of water doesn't cost much, so it's okay to take it."

Ye Yao: "......"

Before Ye Yao could think of a way to say no, his arm was suddenly poked and another bottle of water was handed to him.

Ye Yao looked into the bottle of water and saw Lu Xun, who was also sweating profusely.

Ye Yao didn't take it, so Lu Xun handed it towards him again.

"It's unopened." Lu Xun whispers, "I haven't had it."

This is a very rare explanation for Lu Xun.

Ye Yao remembers the same way Lu Xun interrupted the last time someone brought him water, all similar and not so similar.

The last time Lu Xun gave him a bottle of water, it was a half-drunk bottle that they used to drink together, an act that could only be considered everyday brotherly behaviour.

But this time, Lu Xun gave him an unopened bottle of water.

When they drink a bottle together, they are close friends. When one person has a bottle to himself, they are friends at a suitable distance.

"Have you been drinking?" Ye Yao asked.

"I've certainly had others." Lu Xun replies.

Ye Yao didn't believe it, Lu Xun's teammates were all drinking the same brand of mineral water, which must have been given out by the Lu Xun team, and there was only one bottle per person.

Lu Xun came even later than him and came without anything in his hands.

Lu Xun also has only one bottle of water.

Lu Xun didn't drink the bottle of water, or even open it, and handed it directly to him when anyone was smoking with thirst after a fresh game of basketball.

It's because I'm afraid he won't drink it after it's been opened.

"There's only one bottle, you just drink it." Ye Yao lowered his eyes, "I can see that you haven't had one."

Lu Xun said after a short silence, "Then I will go with you to the shop to buy water."

Ye Yao didn't refuse this time, he nodded to Yan Xing and left.

Lu Xun, of course, followed Ye Yao closely, and Yan Xing's obtrusive figure disappeared from Lu Xun's eyes, his hand finally relaxing a little as he squeezed the bottle tighter.

The man who pursued Ye Yao.

This is on the premise that Ye Yao likes men who pursue Ye Yao.

...... is so annoying.

*

In the dead of night in the dormitory, Lu Xun got up again and peeked out to see Ye Yao's blurred outline.

Ye Yao slept quietly, and Lu Xun watched for a long, long time, in a trance, as he recalled the memory of that fragrance.

It was the scent of shower gel that he used to be able to smell on Ye Yao's body when he fell asleep with his in his arms.

It's not a rare and seductive scent, but on Ye Yao, it's a scent that will enchant him.

It must be the best smell in the world and at one time he was the only person in the world who could smell Ye Yao's scent at night when he was asleep.

Lu Xun thinks of the man who handed Ye Yao water on the pitch today.

Will other men smell this fragrance in the future?

Lu Xun had been subconsciously avoiding the issue, the remedial high school students were too young to pose a threat, and today Yan Xing's appearance was a complete wake-up call.

As a couple, Ye Yao would be held and hugged by other men, and they would be able to do many things that he cannot do now.

...... is like the film he saw with Ye Yao a while back.

Ye Yao will stroke that person's cheek and caress the knot of that person's throat.

Ye Yao, whom he had never seen before, would be admired by a man, and it would surely be amazingly beautiful.

That person must not be the one who still thinks about remaining friends.

His heart felt like it was being pulled tight, and Lu Xun breathed hard as he rested his head against the cold bars, sucking in small breaths.

He was thinking about a lot of things, and there were so many things that struck him that he had grown up with that he didn't dare to jump to conclusions.

But in this moment it can be so easy to find that a little bit of his life with Ye Yao has been replaced by another man, and for him ...... is a whole world falling apart.