Chapter 74: Why are you leaving again?

The private doctor came, and indeed, as Zhishu Lv said, it was a young doctor, with good eyebrows and a slender body, named Dongni An in foreign language.

Dr. Dongni An is very nice, good-tempered, and seems to have an inexplicable sense of friendliness.

But Yu He couldn't even remember his name and face, just like a dispensable symbol.

This dispensable symbol started Yu He's hypnotherapy session.

Dr. Dongni An: " Shao He , please lie down, relax and follow me with three deep breaths ......"

"Think of something you've encountered in the past that was particularly gratifying."

"...... And what if it doesn't."

The doctor froze for a moment, then said, "Then think about what you want to happen."

Yu He closed his eyes, and began to think.

What does he want to happen ......

Perhaps he wishes he had never been born.

Perhaps he wishes he, Zhishu Lv too, could be a normal person without the influence of drugs.

And then maybe ......

--

"When you found out I was sick after you gave birth to me, just strangle me!"

He closed his eyes under the hypnosis of the therapist, and his consciousness slowly returned to a few days ago ......

He dreamed of the time when he had just woken up after his fall.

He was arguing with Jiwei He: "You guys are scared all day long, and I'm walking around every day, and it's really boring to torture each other."

" Yu He ......"

"You go, I'm not used to having you here, I'm even more crazy, I can't hide in the future, I'm afraid I'll lose your face."

The dialogue and the reality are exactly the same.

But, under Dongni An's hypnotic effect, the course of the story began to change gradually -

In reality, Jiwei He went on to explain the secret of Rn13 to Yu He. But in this dream, Jiwei He opened his mouth and was about to speak when there was a knock on the door.

Jiwei He looked relieved: "Please come in."

"Mr. He, Dr. Xie has arrived now and is waiting downstairs."

It is.

Yu He was stunned, it turns out that in his subconscious, he still hopes Qingcheng Xie can come back.

He was so eager and so afraid that his hypnotic dream self actually stiffened upon hearing the news and tried to get up, but the restraining straps tightened around him and the iron clattered.

"I don't need to see a doctor again, who told you to invite him here?"

The more eager the teenager is, the more fearful he is, he struggles like an evil dragon to escape from the chains, a crazy look in his eyes, even the servant who sent the message could not help but shrink back.

"Let him go back!"

"Do you think he's so nice to invite?" Jiwei He said sternly, "If it wasn't for the fact that you fell off the building and almost lost your life, he wouldn't even bother to come see you!"

Yu He was even more humiliated and furious: "Then let him wait for me to die before he comes to see me at my grave!"

"If you say dead or not, I'll ......"

Jiwei He raised his hand again.

Yu He looked at him coldly, his almond eyes unblinking, staring intently at Jiwei He's face.

"......"

Jiwei He's hand trembled and dropped again.

He took a deep breath and pushed the door out, his final look seemed unbearably frustrated, anxious and yet exhausted.

"Ask Dr. Xie to come up." He said to the maid, "I have a lot of things to do. ...... late for a missed flight, I'll go first."

Yu He was so indignant that he hammered the edge of the bed, shaking the buckle of the restraint belt. Unfortunately, he could not turn around, nor could he cover his face, and finally he could only close his eyes and tense up his body.

It seems that even in the dream, he does not want to be so humiliated in front of Qingcheng Xie.

Not at all.

But Jiwei He and the maids left one after another, and no matter how much he resisted and reluctantly hated them, he still heard the familiar footsteps coming from far and near.

And then stopped at his bedside.

He shuddered, shuddering from too much desire.

Even if it is hypnosis, a dream, Yu He still seems to be able to feel the vague, belonging to Qingcheng Xie's scent. It was a very cold sterile water scent, reminiscent of scalpels, syringes, the pale hospital rooms.

He used to smell only to feel cold, but now for some reason, it will feel hot.

The man lowered his head, said nothing, seemed to want to say nothing to him, just checked Yu He's injuries, and-

"Click."

A slight sound.

Qingcheng Xie took his restraining belt off.

-- Yu He in the dream world stiffened, seeming to be satisfied to the extreme in a moment, while Yu He outside the dream world had his eyes closed, and there seemed to be tears under his eyelashes.

So, this is what he had been hoping would happen when he was sick.

He wanted his restraint belt to be untied by Qingcheng Xie's own hands.

He hopes that Qingcheng Xie will know that he is really sick, will believe that he is really sick, and will return to his side.

"Very well ......" Dr. Dongni An observed his state and continued to guide his hypnosis, his voice soft, almost compelling, "Very well, whatever you dreamt, keep thinking down the road ...... you have to believe you can find that way out ......"

However, it is such a phrase.

Like touching the scales of rebellion.

Yu He's dream world was suddenly shaken.

The way out?

What is the way out?

He thought of the reality of Qingcheng Xie's cold eyes and Qingcheng Xie's determination to say to him, "I must leave, sooner or later you will have to rely on you to get out of the shadow inside yourself."

"I'm not your bridge, Yu He. Xue Xie is not either."

" Yu He ......"

Yu He .

A sound that is cold and piercing.

Yu He suddenly fell back into the dream, he was still lying on the bed, the restraining belt was still untied by Qingcheng Xie, but the scene around him suddenly became very dark, Qingcheng Xie's face was also very dark, as if covered with a layer of cold-toned filter.

He dreamed of Qingcheng Xie's thin lips opening and closing.

He knew Qingcheng Xie was trying to tell him the reason for his return. Yu He had vaguely felt that the reason would sting him immensely.

He simply wanted to escape from the hypnosis immediately.

But it didn't work.

The Qingcheng Xie in the dream said the decisive statement word by word, and he had nowhere to hide: "Although I do hate you to die, but I will be responsible for you this time until the fever subsides and the injury heals. You don't have to misunderstand, I came because your father gave me a very generous reward."

Qingcheng Xie's voice was extremely cold and devoid of any emotion.

"Those are payments you can't afford to pay. More than enough so that I never have to see you again."

"......"

Yu He was stabbed in the dream, like being slapped hard by Qingcheng Xie, which hurt extremely.

Outside the dream, Yu He also started to breathe heavily and frowned.

He wanted to get rid of this dream, but this dream was also his demon that had to be broken.

Yu He then fell into a deeper world of the heart under the hypnosis of a private therapist.

He continued to dream, and in his dream he once again saw the dusty guest room door.

In this dream, Qingcheng Xie came back, and Qingcheng Xie stayed in the room that Yu He had carefully cleaned for him.

But Qingcheng Xie, who came back because of Yu He's fall in hypnosis, is very indifferent. He almost never cared about Yu He, after recording Yu He's physical data every day, then he threw him a syringe and watched him finish it, but didn't even bother to push him the medicine himself.

Yu He did not say anything at first, perhaps because of the boy's ridiculous pride, he acted as if nothing had happened, Qingcheng Xie gave him the needle, he took it himself in silence, and then Qingcheng Xie took the injection away again.

The whole process without a word of dialogue, like a silent film.

But later, Yu He's heart grew restless in this silence, and he gradually stopped cooperating.

The dream keeps repeating and continuing.

Finally, Yu He sat in the Windsor chair in his bedroom but did not take it when Qingcheng Xie gave him his usual monitoring and handed him a tube of injections.

He suddenly asked Qingcheng Xie very calmly, but almost desperately, "Dr. Xie, have you ever thought that I might do something else with these injections?"

Qingcheng Xie didn't pay much attention to Yu He's expression and said, "You don't look that eager to die either."

"Yeah. You know me again."

Yu He laughed mockingly, suddenly raised his hand and picked up the syringe, without blinking, and stuck it in himself, but this time it was not intravenous, but randomly stuck into the subcutaneous flesh and blood, and then the medicine was pushed into-

Qingcheng Xie suddenly changed color and immediately went forward, but it was already too late, Yu He's piece of skin quickly bruised and purple, swollen with a horrible bump.

"But I don't really want to live that much." Yu He lightly, if ordinary people would have grimaced in pain, his face is not even half an inch ripples.

It was as if the shot was given to someone irrelevant.

His pair of dark eyes gazed at Qingcheng Xie's face of iron blue, did not blink, did not move, coldly pulled the needle, that inside the injection only a little left, the other all into Yu He bruises under the skin increasingly ugly.

Yu He did not think, handed the syringe back to Qingcheng Xie, a word: "Here. You do it."

Qingcheng Xie's white face seems to be shocked by his lunatic-like behavior.

Yu He said, "It has to be you, Qingcheng Xie."

"Otherwise I wouldn't have taken a single shot today."

The tone of his voice seems to be a bit threatening, but carefully distinguished, the words are also hidden some hidden sadness.

"Since you're here because of the money, take the money and do the job. It always has to be done well."

Qingcheng Xie came back to his senses and closed his eyes, "Don't you force me to tie you up too."

"Then you bundle it." Yu He indifferently, "Same as my parents, you bundle. It's not like you can't do something like that."

The Qingcheng Xie in the dream seems to have been made to suffer from a brain ache by him...

" Yu He , what the hell do you want?"

What does he want?

In fact, he himself does not know.

He realized that something was really wrong with him and that he seemed to be caring more and more about Qingcheng Xie.

He can not see Qingcheng Xie will be irritable, see the same but also can not calm down, Qingcheng Xie has become a sharp thorn in his heart, pull or not to pull the hard to kill.

But he's not supposed to be like this.

He hated homosexuality and could never be entangled with a man, but at the same time he found himself thinking about Qingcheng Xie in bed without noticing, and he seemed to be thinking about Qingcheng Xie's body at first, and then even longing for Qingcheng Xie's feelings --- -The

He was too tormented.

It always feels like you can't breathe and your heart is stuffy.

In the dream, the two were still at an impasse, and finally Yu He said to Qingcheng Xie, "You know, I didn't want this before."

"Qingcheng Xie, you've watched me grow up. You know what I used to be like. ...... I held on for nineteen years, for what others and I have described, that 'peace' that might have been."

"Now I can't hold on to it."

"My parents always let me pretend to be a normal person, so as not to be caught in the asylum, they dare to do so because I have never done anything beyond the law and rules, I do live like a normal person, although it is disgusting, very hard, although there is suffering can not complain, sickness can not shout. Although I have to constantly observe the reactions of people around me in the face of happiness and sorrow, and then give them a satisfactory answer."

"But I did do it."

"Nineteen years, a man who should be living in an insane asylum, living in a society of normal people. A person who should be locked up in a cage, walking outside the cage. I was in constant fear that my sickness would be exposed, that I would go from being the envy of everyone to the shame of everyone. All the friends I have are not my real friends, because they don't know what I am really like, they are just hanging out with me wearing a false face."

"Who can I speak a word of truth to? I thought that at least your sister, Xue Xie, she would be different from the others. But I was naive after all."

"I'm sick, Qingcheng Xie ." He said at the end, with a smile on his face and a look of pathos, treacherous madness, horrible, he poked himself in the heart, "I'm fucking sick! Who knows the truth and still wants to look at me and treat me the same as before? I have to live under a mask of normalcy for the rest of my life - there's still a time limit for prison, where's the time limit for my recovery?"

The voice was trembling by the end.

"Nineteen years. Qingcheng Xie ."

"Why did you save me?"

"All the doctors before you were unable to slow me down well, you gave me hope and pushed me back into the abyss - if so why did you save me? And why did you lie to me? You hate me, Qingcheng Xie - do you know that I hate you too!"

"I've fucking hated you since the day you left!"

Yu He is a man who hardly ever swears, but at this moment, in the dream created by hypnosis, he was a little out of shape, too long confusion fermented in his heart, he could not control the impulses in his blood and heart and limbs.

He lost his temper with Qingcheng Xie in the dream, like a real nineteen-year-old boy, no sense, no rules, no deliberation, the words smothered in his throat poured out irrationally, regardless of all.

He cursed and cursed, his eyes were red.

He said, "I really hate you, Qingcheng Xie."

"Now you also hate me, you say if you had not even looked at me at first let me die how good it would have been, if not because of this disease, not because of meeting you, we each other's life can be one less enemy, not a lot of pain."

"Me and you, we wouldn't have hated each other as much as we do today."

Qingcheng Xie in his dream did not speak, but looked at him with a complicated gaze, and after a long silence, the man turned around: "...... I'll have my assistant come up and give you a shot."

"Why don't you hit Qingcheng Xie yourself? Are you afraid of seeing me?" Yu He looked furious, but his tone was calmly horrible, "Or you are too dirty to touch me."

"You can think whatever you want." Qingcheng Xie said, "You're right about one thing, Yu He ."

"If it wasn't for this disease, if it wasn't for meeting you, we could have had one less enemy in each other's lives, without a lot of pain."

"Please control your emotions or I'll have to really bind you with the restraining belt."

"...... good. Then you bundle while you can. Hurry up and bundle!" Yu He tilted his head, smiled with red eyes, and his voice was sultry, "Or you will regret it sooner or later."

Qingcheng Xie ignored him again, turned and pushed the door and walked out.

The moment Qingcheng Xie in the hypnotic dream world pushed the door out, Yu He in reality lying on the treatment chair, his chest heaving violently, he became a fragile life on the verge of death, the door opened and closed again, he knew Qingcheng Xie did not even want to stay in the hypnotic dream world for a long time.

His departure seemed to draw the last strands of popularity from his chest.

Yu He woke up with a start, eyes wide open, breathing hard.

A line of tears slid down the end of his eyes.

Dongni An, the private doctor, sat by the chair and watched him. When he woke up, he calmly poured him water, medicine, and handed him tissues.

"You have something in your heart that is tormenting you, and maybe a person who is tormenting you."

Yu He : "......"

Dr. Dongni An: "Drink the medicine, at least you have now seen the cause of your illness this time."

"Once the cause of the disease is found, you can figure out how to overcome and conquer it yourself."

The doctor tapped Yu He on the shoulder.

Then he said to the sweat-soaked man, "Today's session is over, Shao He, please try to control yourself, stop thinking about that thing or that person, and get some rest."