Chapter 72: I'm just crazy

Eight years old...

The door of the house opened.

"Dr. Tse, good morning. Dad asked me to come say hello to you. He wanted me to talk to you more."

Pretending to be well-behaved, but also somewhat genuinely clueless, he just stood in the doorway of the guest room with the endless summer pattern carved into it and bowed towards the young medical student sitting at his desk.

The doctor looked back at him, and looked at him lightly: "Come in and sit down."

Then, at the age of ten -

He ran through the long corridor, with a special lab slip in his hand.

"Thank you doctor, thank you doctor."

The door opened again, pushed open by the boy.

Qingcheng Xie was standing by the window pane, reading an Ode to a Nightingale. The boy's noise made him frown, and in the shadow of the sky, Qingcheng Xie said to him, "How many times did you knock before entering the house?"

"My indicators are almost normal this time! I'm getting better!" He couldn't help the excitement, his face was running with fine sweat, "Look, doctor, look."

"If you keep getting so emotional, it's time to get worse again."

Qingcheng Xie closed the book of poems, his face was very light, but still waved his hand to him casually: "Come in. Let me see."

And then, at the age of 14 -

It was gloomy outside, and he stood in front of the big, heavy door for a long time, and then he knocked on it.

The door of the house opened once again.

The teenager noticed at a glance that the house had become very cold and Qingcheng Xie's luggage had already been packed.

The answer is whatever is already well understood.

But he asked him reluctantly, as if he were a dying patient trying to claim life: "Is it true what my mother said?"

"......"

The empty closet, the clean desk, the suitcase in the corner, all the still life was answering him silently.

But he only looked at Qingcheng Xie, stubbornly, forcefully, full of pride, yet humbly, and asked again: "Is it true what she said?"

Qingcheng Xie, with an ironed jacket on his hand, sighed and said, "Come in first. Come in and talk."

Finally, or at the age of fourteen -

Soon after Qingcheng Xie left, Yu He was also going abroad. Before leaving, he came alone to the door of the closed guest room. The boy's hair was a bit disheveled at that time, and it was fine to cover his eyes.

He stood in silence for a long time with his head bowed, and finally he raised his hand and knocked on Qingcheng Xie's door.

Over and over again.

The door opened with a creak.

Yu He's heart lifted and he looked in with anticipation, but there was nothing inside - the wind had blown the door open.

The guest room was dim, and it looked like an empty, decaying grave, like a cooling phantom dream.

He walked in and the only proof that Qingcheng Xie had been there was the last book he had left Yu He on rare diseases of the world.

To Yu He:

Kid, one day, you will come out of your inner shadow by yourself.

I wish that I could believe in this way.

Qingcheng Xie

Gift

The young man raised his hand to touch the cold words of the brush, trying to draw from it to a little remnant of tenderness, that may allow him to say goodbye to him and forget about each other from now on.

However, Yu He never admitted that in many subsequent dreams, on the banks of the Thames, on the beaches of Sicily, in the cold and foggy Danish polar nights, in the brilliant and warm Spanish summers.

He dreamed of the long, thickly carpeted corridor from his pillow back to the old cottage in Huzhou.

Dreaming of the wooden door carved with endless summer dark patterns.

Then he dreamed that he knocked on the door, again and again, sounding helpless and desperate - until the clock struck twelve, and in the dream he used to save himself, he dreamed that the heavy door was once again opened from the inside.

Qingcheng Xie stood in the guest room, as indifferent as Yu He had been any time he needed him as a child, yet so reliable, like the best big brother in the world, the strongest man, the most clinging, inseparable doctor-

The man looked at him from top to bottom as if nothing had happened in between.

Only a faint inclination of the head, as before, said, "It's you, kid."

"Well, come in and sit down."

--

"Come in and sit down."

"The Kid ......"

But lately everything has changed. Lately, even in late night dreams, Yu He opens the door and there is no one inside.

He could never go back to the corridor before he was fourteen years old and could not push the door that was full of light.

Heart suddenly hurts so badly ......

So much so that Yu He suddenly woke up a-

He woke up to find himself lying in his bedroom bed.

The front of his forehead was wrapped in gauze, as were his wrist and ankle.

The curtains were drawn in the bedroom and the AI stereo was playing the news with and without a beat.

"The video serial murder case that shocked the whole country in Shanghai University ...... police revealed ...... it was revenge murder, police found evidence in Yuzhu Lu's belongings that she acquired hacking equipment, Yuzhu Lu is the case One of the suspects in the case was Yuzhu Lu, who was a former county party secretary in Qingli County and was the first girl in the area to go to college. Yuzhu Lu was pursuing a major in computer information security back then, and police suspect that ......"

Because of the weak Bluetooth signal, the sound is intermittent.

"The other suspect, Liping Jiang, is currently at large ...... Both of them had an inappropriate relationship with the victim ...... Perhaps ...... Cheng Kang Psychiatric ...... The two of them were inspired by the Lanpei Jiang killing and wanted to create a horrific atmosphere similar to the rumored 'Lanpei Jiang's evil spirits'... ...but does not exclude that the two knew that the Lanpei Jiang incident had a deeper connection to it ......"

The sound box talks about Liping Jiang being on the run.

Yu He lay in bed, his heartbeat slowly calming down.

The door in the dream disappeared.

He remembered his accidental fall down the stairs.

He didn't move. There was no reaction.

He is still alive ah ...... he did not feel much surprise. He just so woodenly, with a hitch and listened. There are many follow-up reports on this matter, the bizarre murder case is the traffic code, what hunting claims are endless.

Yu He was quite concerned about this matter before, but this moment woke up from the coma, and then heard this thing on the radio, he only numbly felt -

What does it have to do with him.

Everything in this world has nothing to do with him.

Suddenly, a voice came from the bedside: " Yu He , you are awake?"

Yu He moved his head, only to find that Zhishu Lv was there.

She came back and was sitting worriedly by his bedside, and when she saw him open his eyes, she was busy saying, "Before you-"

After a few seconds of silence.

Yu He opened his mouth, his voice raspy with first awakening, "I know what happened before."

He said this with a certain look of surprise at her presence, and then said woodenly, "I told you to leave me alone, but what are you doing in Huzhou?"

Zhishu Lv did not get the warmth she expected from a mother-son meeting, and Yu He was not grateful for her bedside manner.

She didn't expect him to wake up with such a tone, and she couldn't help but stiffen: "You, how can you talk to your mother like that, you boy?"

"Then how do you want me to talk to you? A mouthful of honorifics? I'm not in the mood for that. Do you know that I am sick? I am just pretending to be gentle and modest to you, this is my real face. If you can't stand it, go back to Yanzhou and find Li He, don't hang around in front of my eyes all day."

Zhishu Lv suddenly angry powerful, she is wearing a black lace see-through dress today, but people are too full, plus Yu He angry trembling, look like a trembling fat spider: "...... mom know that once upon a time is mom left you out, but you are not so ...... you are also not to ......"

"I hope you will continue to be cold to me." Yu He's eyes were cold, "I'm used to it, do you understand?"

"......"

"Please get out."

Zhishu Lv wanted to say something else, but Yu He's eyes had become a bit gruesome.

"Get out."

She stumbled a little and walked out anyway.

Jiwei He also came back, and Zhishu Lv met him in the living room when he came downstairs.

Jiwei He didn't expect to be greeted by a wife who was so angry with her son that she burst into tears when she entered.

Zhishu Lv It's been a long time since I've been this weak in front of him.

She walked downstairs, sat down on the sofa, drew some tissues, wiped her tears, and twisted her head without looking at Jiwei He.

Jiwei He : "...... Did you have a fight with him?"

"He just woke up. I wanted to have a good talk with him, I wanted to get him another private doctor, I've seen him on too many medications lately, and you know there's no chemical way to keep his mental state under control if this drug ends up wearing off." Zhishu Lv inhaled, still not turning her head, staring at a corner of the coffee table as if it had some deep-seated grudge against her.

"I also have good intentions and I care about him. I'm his own mother, can I harm him?"

Jiwei He : "......"

"But he just wouldn't listen and was too hostile to me." Zhishu Lv draws a few more tissues and twists her nose loudly, which she wasn't when she was younger.

"Lao He, help me persuade him."

Zhishu Lv fell into tears again.

"I am really aggrieved ...... you say, you say I am for him, I pay so much, he does not even know, I am for him I become this way now ...... he treats me like this, how hard I feel in my heart? I'm really too aggrieved."

She said, burying her face in her thick, short, fat palm.

"I'm a mother, too. ......"

The family relationship in the He family is actually very subtle, twisted, and odd. It is not at all the kind of atmosphere that a normal family should have.

Jiwei He looked at Zhishu Lv for a moment and said with a sullen face, "I'll go up and talk to him."

Jiwei He then went upstairs to Yu He's bedroom.

Father and son rarely see each other, the black-haired and bedridden, the next second will probably be staged in the father's hot tears, choking self-blame scene. However--

"Snap!"

A loud slap on Yu He's face, Jiwei He is different from Zhishu Lv, he is usually serious and reasonable, but at this moment he is a bit tense, he went up and sternly scolded him: " Yu He, you learn to seek death now, right?"

Yu He Sheng suffered this blow to the ear, the face between the eyes actually half an inch ripples, but the face was beaten to the past, and then back to the corner of the mouth with a vague bloodstain.

Yu He then stained with blood and smiled, "My goodness, how come you are back too. I'm not at the point where I need you both to attend my funeral together either."

"What a jerk you say!"

"What are you doing backwards."

"......"

Yu He's eyes fell on Jiwei He's leather shoes, and as the teenager's indistinguishable smile widened, he saw Jiwei He undoubtedly take a step back.

He moved his arms and legs slightly and his gaze moved back to the ceiling.

Still smiling faintly, "Don't be afraid. I'm not already well tied up by you guys."

Yu He's bed is full of restraints. Jiwei He and Lv Zhishu hide the fact that he is sick from everyone but themselves. Although Yu He has never cruelly hurt anyone or animal in public, almost all doctors judge his violence to be on the same level as that of a psychopathic killer.

Jiwei He's cheeks puffed up, and half said, "It's for your own good."

Yu He moved casually in his restraint belt and smiled, "Thank you."

Jiwei He : "...... When did the condition deteriorate so badly and didn't say so?"

"I seem to be a nervous wreck," Yu He rambled, "what do you expect me to say?"

" Yu He , if this continues you will have to be sent to a hospital for mandatory isolation, I'm afraid." Jiwei He lowered his voice, his eyes a little complicated, "Do you want to lose your freedom? Locked up like an animal? Your mother and I have been hiding it for you for so long so that you can be as normal as possible-"

"It's to be able to keep the He family running as normally as possible, with a long and prosperous shade." Yu He gazed at the ceiling and smiled lightly.

Jiwei He was steeply silent as if his vocal cords had been cut.

"Instead of one day becoming the talk of others after tea, saying what, that He family's eldest son who looks shiny and bright and has excellent character and learning, turns out to be a madman. He hid it so deeply. It turns out that the He family is so rotten - or in medicine - that they can't even cure their own diseases."

He turned his head, his hands and feet bound, but his words and smile and air of terror: "Am I right? Papa?"

Jiwei He's face was ashen, his expression angry, but that anger seemed to reveal a trace of guilt for Yu He after all.

Yu He can't see, his eyes are empty.

"When you found out I was sick after giving birth to me, just strangle me. Why do you still keep me. You spend your days in fear and trembling, and I walk every day, it is really mutual torture, very meaningless."

" Yu He ......"

"You go, with you here I am not used to, crazy more, can not hide in the future, I'm afraid to lose your face."

Jiwei He seems to want to say a few soft words, but the number of times he and his eldest son meet is really shabby, he is also in a high position of power, giving orders, soft for him is far more difficult than hard.

"......"

Yu He turned his face sideways on the bed, not wanting to look at his old man.

The room was terribly quiet.

In this silence, Jiwei He's eyes slowly change from anger to guilt, from guilt to grief, and from grief to peace.

He began to regret the slap he gave Yu He when he walked in the door.

At that moment he was really not in control.

He learned of Yu He's fall - though not on a high floor.

He saw Zhishu Lv was so embarrassed by Yu He.

His moment of exhaustion and anger, fear and anxiety are the most real, wrapped in his hand, uncontrollably pumped Yu He face.

He hadn't accompanied Yu He much, but he really hadn't beaten Yu He either, and this was the first time.

No matter how light he is to Yu He, they are both father and son, he saw Yu He crazy to this extent and did not say anything, it is false to say that he is not angry.

He can't stand it at this moment.

Pulled a chair and sat down next to Yu He's bed.

The father lowered his head, said nothing, seemed to want to say nothing to him, just checked Yu He's injury, and then-

"Click."

A slight sound.

Jiwei He took his restraining belt off.

"......" Yu He opened his eyes.

After Jiwei He loosened his straps, he didn't speak again for a long time.

The father and son looked at each other with a great silence.

Jiwei He hadn't set foot in this bedroom for a long time, and in this silence, he shifted his eyes, looked around, and finally landed on Yu He's empty bed.

He resolved to speak, his tone seemed tired, but it was no longer so harsh and insensitive: "...... Yu He . I remember that there was originally a picture of the three of us together on your bedside table."

"That's still a picture of you when you were four years old, right? We took it together in Yellowstone ......"

Yu He also opened his mouth, his tone was still cold, but at least it came back to him: "I've lost that photo for ten years."

"......"

The villa room, which is obviously so exquisitely decorated, is as cold as an ice cellar at this moment.

Jiwei He sighed and tried to knock a cigarette out for a smoke.

Yu He said, "I don't like second-hand smoke. If you want to smoke, then go out and smoke."

"......" Jiwei He coughed and sarcastically took his cigarette back, "I'm not a heavy smoker. Do not smoke anymore. What just happened ...... was my bad, I got excited."

" Yu He , let me stay here with you for a while."

If this statement had been made ten years ago, Yu He would have had a soft heart.

Fifteen years ago, Yu He would even cry.

But now, after all, it is a little too late. Yu He's heart is already thickly cocooned, this little thin tenderness will only make him feel his heart is disturbed, but can not perceive any bright emotions.

Jiwei He was quiet for a while before he said, "I know that you have complained about us over the years, since your brother came into the world, we have indeed accompanied you too little, I do not want to justify anything more, doing a bad job is doing a bad job, our neglect of you is really a fact that can not be shirked."

My father whispered as he played with the unlit cigarette.

"That's not really neglect." Yu He said lightly, "It seems more apt to say disgusted."

Jiwei He's hand shook a little.

He also found that Yu He seemed to have become more ruthless.

In the past, Yu He would not talk to him in such a straightforward manner, even if he was discontented, the verbal courtesy and politeness were always there.

Jiwei He stared at the thick wool carpeting in the bedroom and said for a long time, "...... Yu He , she is not disgusted with you."

"She's just disgusted with her own past."

"......"

The room was so quiet that the sound of a clock ticking could be heard.

Jiwei He rubbed the cigarette between his fingers as he struggled with himself for the last time - or rather, he had already decided to have such a conversation with Yu He, but he was sitting in this strange room, and he didn't know where to start.

He was silent, deliberating.

Finally he sighed deeply and opened his mouth: " Yu He , there are some things that we never told you before. Because you were too young, not even an adult at that time, I was worried that if I told you, you would have a harder time psychologically. And your mother, that for her itself is a very painful scar. She is even more unlikely to personally uncover it and lead you to touch it."

"But I think - I've been feeling more and more lately that it's time to tell you." Jiwei He said, "Maybe after you hear it, you'll be able to be less self-absorbed, and you'll be able to ...... you might be able to, too, understand her a little bit."

"I've understood enough-" Yu He sat up suddenly from the bed.

"Just hear me out." Jiwei He said, "I rarely talk to you about something alone like this. This time please be patient and hear me out, and then, any grievance you have, any resentment you have, you can vent it with me. Is that okay."

"......"

"You're my son, and I know I've always let you sacrifice too much for something."

There was a long silence, and finally Yu He lay back down between the pillows and mattresses, raising his arms to shield his eyes, as if not seeing Jiwei He would make him a little more sane.

"Go ahead." Finally he said coldly, "I'm listening."