Chapter 64: 第 64 章

Xu Yan stared at the ceiling in a daze for a full two minutes, trying to figure out whether he'd truly been fucked half to death, and where exactly he was now.

After last night ended, Xu Yan had no idea what time it was. He was so tired he couldn't even move his fingers, but he forced himself to stay awake on sheer willpower, reached for tissues with trembling hands, closed his eyes, wiped himself down, wiped the bed—pointless busywork, all of it.

Shen Zhi stood off to the side, watching him. Xu Yan's Virgo cleanliness obsession always surfaced in the strangest places—same as before, once he was done he had to drag himself up and scrub every corner with painstaking care, like some animal frantically grooming its fur and licking its paws after a meal.

But this time he really couldn't get up, so this was the best he could manage.

He scrubbed in a half-conscious daze for a few minutes, then slowly sat up. Shen Zhi was in the bathroom running hot water into the tub. When he came out, Xu Yan was trying to stand on the floor, but his legs gave out. He made a valiant effort—and ended up kneeling on the ground.

Shen Zhi went over to help him up. Xu Yan could feel something still leaking out, completely beyond his control. He opened his mouth and, in a voice barely above a breath, asked, "How much of it is still inside me?"

Shen Zhi: "Not much."

Xu Yan closed his eyes in exasperation and tried a different approach: "How many times?"

Shen Zhi: "Three, four, five times."

So, five times.

A curse sat on the tip of his tongue, half-swallowed. Xu Yan sat in the tub in silence, rubbing his head in agony. "Go to my car and get my cigarettes."

He desperately needed a post-coital cigarette to ease the trauma of being drained so thoroughly.

Shen Zhi nodded and went out. When he came back, he placed the cigarette between Xu Yan's lips and lit it for him. Then he went to the shower to wash up. By the time he came out, Xu Yan had fallen dead asleep in the tub with half a cigarette still dangling from his mouth—had Shen Zhi taken any longer, the ember would have burned right down to his lips.

Shen Zhi stubbed out the cigarette, leaned over the tub with one hand braced on the rim, and reached into the water to help clean him out. Xu Yan frowned in his sleep, half-convinced Shen Zhi was about to start something again, but lacking the strength to resist, he negotiated in the most polite tone he could muster: "Next time... I really can't today, okay?"

"Why not?" Shen Zhi actually asked.

"You made me wet the bed..." His voice wavered on the edge of tears—the psychological blow was simply too much.

Shen Zhi smiled. "Then next time."

The curtains were drawn—he couldn't tell if it was light outside. The bed beside him was empty. His trousers from yesterday had been tossed in the living room, but the phone from his pocket had been retrieved by Shen Zhi and set on the nightstand. Xu Yan glanced at the clock. Eleven-thirty in the morning.

He tried to sit up and move around. No luck—couldn't lift his arms, his back ached, his legs were sore, and his ass was worse. He half-suspected that last night hadn't been sex so much as Shen Zhi beating him up.

Xu Yan fumbled for his phone and called Wang Wen'an, asking her to get in touch and move tomorrow's shoot to the morning of the day after. It was already noon, and in this state, he'd probably still be hurting tomorrow—another day off was unavoidable.

"Oh? What happened, are you sick?"

Xu Yan coughed twice, his voice rasping. "Yeah."

He was twenty-seven years old, bedridden from overdoing it in bed, forced to call in sick to rest at home. Absurd.

Wang Wen'an immediately and considerately offered to handle the shoot postponement herself, telling Xu Yan to rest well and take care of his health.

After hanging up, Xu Yan remembered that on the drive home yesterday he'd arranged with Xu Nian to go to their parents' house for dinner that evening. That wasn't happening now either—he'd have to brace himself and call.

"I won't be home for dinner tonight. Tell Mom and Dad I've got work."

"You ungrateful brat! How long has it been since you came home? Do you even remember what your parents look like? Aren't you on leave these two days? Where's this work coming from? Why didn't you say so earlier? Weren't you all set to come last night? What's going on with you? Why is your voice so hoarse? Did you just wake up?"

The rapid-fire interrogation lit a fuse in Xu Yan. He dropped a curt "I overdid it in bed, happy now?" and hung up—but the more he thought about it, the angrier he got, so he immediately fired off a voice call to Shen Zhi.

Picked up in under two seconds. Shen Zhi: "Awake?"

Xu Yan: "I'm going to kill you."

He hung up, set the phone down, closed his eyes, and lay there in perfect stillness—like a corpse.

Five minutes later, Shen Zhi opened the door and came in carrying a bowl of congee and two fried eggs. He sat on the edge of the bed, opened the curtains with the remote, and said, "Eat something first."

Xu Yan opened his eyes and stared him down.

Attorney Shen paid this no heed whatsoever. With perfect composure, he scooped up some congee, blew on it, and held it to Xu Yan's lips. "One bite."

"I haven't even brushed my teeth or washed my face."

Shen Zhi set the congee aside, pulled back the covers, and helped Xu Yan to his feet. He'd meant to carry him over, but Xu Yan remembered Shen Zhi's wrist couldn't bear heavy loads and insisted on walking himself—even though yesterday Shen Zhi had carried him from the first floor to the second, and his grip around his neck had been plenty firm, nothing like a man with an old injury.

"Jesus..." Xu Yan stood at the sink with his toothbrush, studying the fingermarks on his neck in the mirror. "Doesn't this look like a horror movie? The male lead wakes up from a nap and suddenly finds these marks on his neck."

"So he brings in a master to take a look. The master says the house is unclean. The guy decides to move out, but on his last night sleeping there, he wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath, opens his eyes, and sees the ghost sitting on top of him, choking him."

Shen Zhi listened to the whole thing and asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

Xu Yan: "What do you think?!"

Shen Zhi's month-long leave was still ongoing, while Xu Yan had already started scrambling through the last quarter's workload. Since Attorney Shen wasn't keen on long-distance arrangements, he'd packed a bag and started sleeping at photographer Xu's place.

This caused Xu Nian considerable displeasure, since he could no longer drop by Xu Yan's place whenever he wanted. The time before last, he'd waited in the living room for several minutes before Xu Yan emerged from the bedroom, disheveled, and Xu Nian had asked whether Shen Zhi was in there.

Xu Yan's gaze slid sideways. "No, why?"

Xu Nian: "Why are your lips so red?"

Xu Yan touched his lower lip, which Shen Zhi had just bitten, and said, "Spicy sticks. They're spicy."

Xu Nian exploded. "You think I'm three years old?!"

"You'll be my didi even when you're fifty." Xu Yan soothed him. "It's only natural for gege to lie to didi. Don't get worked up."

Last time he'd come over, Xu Yan was editing photos in the study, so Xu Nian and Shen Zhi had sat in the living room in total silence for a full twenty-five minutes. Attorney Shen had calmly reviewed his documents, while Xu Nian could only stare at the Makka Pakka on the TV and suffer in solitude.

He swore he'd cut back on visits to Xu Yan—and when Xu Yan hitched a ride in his car to go home for dinner, Xu Nian's resolve only hardened.

"Where's your delicate flower?"

"He's on a business trip these few days, back tonight." Xu Yan looked at his phone—Shen Zhi had just sent a WeChat message saying he'd boarded his flight.

Xu Nian laughed coldly. "I'm telling Mom and Dad about your affair today. Just you wait."

"Oh." Xu Yan replied airily. "Be my guest."

Xu Nian's fist clenched.

Ye Xuan arrived early. When Xu Yan and Xu Nian walked in, she was chatting with Fang Hui and Xu Shen on the sofa. Xu Yan heard his brother's throat produce some indescribable sound—roughly the equivalent of a puppy whimpering for attention.

Xu Nian changed his shoes and pattered over to the sofa, sat down next to Ye Xuan, threw an arm around her shoulders, leaned his head against hers, and started talking to her in a clingy, syrupy voice. Ye Xuan laughed, peeled an almond, and popped it into his mouth.

This kind of scene is generally known as "junior-generation rivalry"—when parents see one child happily settled in marriage, their relief is inevitably followed by their gaze drifting toward the other one, the perpetually single creature with no romantic prospects in sight.

Xu Yan stood in the entryway, meeting the kindly gazes of Fang Hui and Xu Shen, and was suddenly seized by the urge to bolt out the door.

Coming out of his parents' place, Xu Yan spotted Shen Zhi's car at the Residential Area Entrance. He had Xu Nian pull over, said goodbye to Xu Nian and Ye Xuan, and got out.

"Haven't eaten yet?" Xu Yan asked, settling into the passenger seat. "What do you want? I'll go with you."

"Just make me a bowl of noodles when we get back."

Xu Yan leaned over, reached out, cupped Shen Zhi's chin and turned his head toward him. After a few seconds of looking, he asked, "Have you been staying up late and skipping meals again these past few days?"

"Tight schedule, been a bit busy." Shen Zhi smiled—admission enough.

"Then let's get back. I'll cook you some noodles and you should rest early."

Shen Zhi asked instead, "You're going out of town the day after tomorrow?"

"Mm, back in four or five days." Xu Yan smiled. "Going to miss me?"

Shen Zhi didn't answer. He looked at him for a moment, then leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Okay, drive, let's—..." Xu Yan stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening slightly as he noticed the small box in Shen Zhi's hand. He had no idea when Shen Zhi had produced it.

"I ordered it before. It arrived yesterday; I picked it up just now." Shen Zhi narrated it all matter-of-factly—no solemn declaration, no impassioned outpouring of feeling. He simply opened the box and said, "I wanted to give this to you."

A simple, elegant platinum ring sat nestled in the gift box, a row of small diamonds set along half the band, catching the light in a quiet, pretty sparkle.

Shen Zhi took the ring out, pinching it between the pads of his thumb and forefinger.

"Xu Yan. Marry me." He said it quietly. "Give me a home."

Xu Yan owned many rings, almost all of them gifts from others—strange ones, delicate ones, flashy ones, expensive ones. Most were heavy on design and concept, meant to accessorize for public events. Rings as understated as this one were rare. Almost nonexistent.

He'd never understood before why wedding rings—arguably the most important kind—were so often clean and unadorned, neither striving to stand out nor to be special.

Now he thought he suddenly understood.

Because a wedding ring isn't meant to accessorize, nor is it bound to any particular occasion. It simply stays on the finger, enduring, accompanying its wearer through every second of life—ordinary and extraordinary alike.

"Out of nowhere, a ring." Xu Yan's eyes crinkled with a smile. "We're still in the 'trying it out' stage, aren't we?"

"Give it a try." Shen Zhi didn't seem discouraged, as if he'd expected this. He smiled too. "It's fine. We have plenty of time. No rush."

Xu Yan took the ring from him, but didn't put it on. He simply held it in his palm, looking at it up close.

"It's pretty expensive, so I'll hold onto it for now." He said, "Next time I'll get you a cheaper one. You know I just bought a house—I'm broke, you'll have to cut me some slack."

The corner of Shen Zhi's mouth curved up. "Okay."

The car pulled away. Ten minutes or so later, they passed a shopping mall. Xu Yan gazed out the window and suddenly sighed, "I'm craving a McDonald's cone. So cheap, and yet so sweet."

Shen Zhi turned the wheel, easing the car into a temporary spot by the curb. He opened his door and stepped out before Xu Yan could. "I'll get it. Wait in the car."

Shen Zhi went off to wait at a traffic light nearby. Xu Yan watched him through the window for a while, then reached into his shirt pocket, took out the ring, and slipped it onto his middle finger.

Cool to the touch. The fit was just right.

Xu Yan felt as though his own heart had been encircled by something, held tight—he could feel the full, swelling sense of completeness with every beat.

He turned his hand over, back and forth, admiring it, and couldn't help marveling at Attorney Shen's taste—the ring was a beauty from any angle.

Xu Yan was half-tempted to snap a photo and post it in the family group chat to announce to his parents that he was officially off the market, but that would undoubtedly unleash a storm. His quiet life with Shen Zhi had only just begun—better to enjoy a few peaceful days first.

He tucked the ring carefully back into his pocket and leaned against the window again, looking out. The bustling street, the endless flow of cars, the blaze of lights—a real, vivid, clamorous world.

And Shen Zhi was crossing through the weaving crowd, through the overlapping halos of neon signs, an ice cream cone in hand, waiting at the red light across the street.

He was always the one who stood out in any crowd—Xu Yan could spot him at a glance. Just like back in college, on the noisy sports field, where Xu Yan's camera had always found Shen Zhi with the greatest of ease.

Perhaps because his eyes had held only Shen Zhi from the very beginning, no matter what, he couldn't forget, and no one else would do.

In this mortal world of ordinary flesh and blood, people will always stumble, again and again, for the things they love—there is no escaping it.

Perhaps passion alone isn't enough. They still had plenty of practical problems to work through. But it didn't matter—being in love had already given them the best possible starting point. Just as Shen Zhi had said: plenty of time, no rush.

The light turned green. Shen Zhi crossed the zebra crossing, and everything around him was automatically blurred by Xu Yan's gaze, frozen into a single photograph, seared into his mind.

Xu Yan felt that Shen Zhi had changed so much, and yet nothing had changed at all—as if they had never endured any hardship or pain. Nine-odd years had collapsed into a single yesterday-meets-today, and Shen Zhi had merely gone across the street to buy him an ice cream cone.

"Here." Shen Zhi walked up to the car and handed him the cone.

"That was fast." Xu Yan took it from him, smiling. "Get in. Let's go home."