Chapter 49: Feeling Inferior

Two days of quarantine—neither long nor short.

Xie Li felt like she'd only just lain in bed growing some vegetables, tidied up the supplies in the shipping container, and slept a few groggy stretches before the tightly shut door was opened.

A fully armed soldier stood at the doorway and called into the room: "Come out, your quarantine is over."

"Coming, coming." Lan Ran answered, picking up Xiao Bao and rolling out of bed, shuffling toward the door in her slippers. Xiao Bao lay on her shoulder, not fully awake yet, rubbing her eyes blearily.

Xie Li walked at the back, following the soldier through the narrow corridor and out of the quarantine zone.

Base staff returned their disinfected luggage, adding an offhand reminder: "No fighting is allowed inside the base. The moment you start a brawl, you're expelled."

"Got it, thanks for the warning." Xie Li took her backpack, slung it over her shoulder, and cradled the miao dao in her arms.

"Let's go, I'll take you to where you'll be staying." With that, the soldier led the way.

Xie Li and Lan Ran followed her, truly stepping through the base's gates.

The Dapan Mountain base was far bigger than they'd imagined. Past the main gate ran a wide, straight thoroughfare.

Military trucks rolled in through the gate one after another, passing the three of them and kicking up clouds of dust.

Xie Li and Lan Ran covered their noses and mouths and moved aside onto the walkway.

Behind the convoy, a military jeep peeled off and slowly pulled up beside the three of them, raising another plume of dust.

Xie Li and Lan Ran were both speechless. Was something wrong with this car? Did it have to pull over right next to them and shower them in grit?

Lan Ran rolled her eyes and was about to let loose some choice words when the jeep's rear window rolled down.

Fu Yunsheng, dressed in combat fatigues, leaned against the back seat. She leisurely peeled off her tactical gloves, pulled down her sunglasses, and looked the two of them over.

The corner of her mouth curled up. "So you made it to the base safely too. Has Dr. Jin returned?"

The guide soldier snapped to attention and saluted. "Greetings, Commander. Dr. Jin has already returned to the base safely."

Lan Ran greeted her as well: "Hello, Major General Fu."

Ning Meng, driving up front, rolled down her window too and waved at them.

Fu Yunsheng returned the salute. "Nothing important—I just saw some familiar faces and came over to say hello. Take them to their lodging and arrange a decent spot. These two came to the base with me."

"Yes, Commander." The soldier replied respectfully.

The window rolled slowly up, and the jeep swept past them in a swirl of dust, quickly vanishing into the night.

Xie Li watched the jeep drive away, then looked down at her own wrinkled T-shirt, the thin plastic slippers that dug into her feet, and remembered that soldier's "Commander." All of it left a heaviness in her chest.

Showing off what? She had piles of clothes in her space.

If it weren't for this wretched base, she could change into ten different outfits a day, never repeating one—she couldn't wear them all in ten lifetimes.

The soldier asked casually, "You know the Commander?"

Seeing that Xie Li clearly didn't want to talk, Lan Ran answered for her: "We traveled together for a while."

"In the base we generally don't say 'Major General'—everyone uses job titles. Major General Fu is the Commander-in-Chief of the Dapan Mountain Army base; you can just call her Commander Fu," the soldier explained. "You two look pretty young, right in your prime. You could consider joining the field teams and earning some contribution points—enough to keep yourselves fed, at least."

Xie Li keenly caught the key phrase: "What are contribution points?"

"Contribution points are a new system the base just rolled out." The soldier slowed her pace, explaining patiently.

"The base's mission hall posts tasks every day—repairing the base, building houses, cutting through rock, clearing drainage ditches, going out to scavenge supplies, all kinds of work. You can take on tasks and earn contribution points daily, and spend them anywhere in the base—food, goods, whatever. It's basically the same as money used to be."

Xie Li hadn't expected that, less than a month into the apocalypse, the base's task system would already be this complete.

She asked curiously, "Didn't your Commander just get back too? Who set up all these rules?"

"Director Jin from the research institute drew them up."

At the mention of Director Jin, the soldier's tone took on a note of respect. "As soon as survivors started entering the base, Director Jin began arranging this whole set of regulations and procedures."

"She said survivors are like a snowball—it only rolls bigger and bigger. If we relied solely on our few thousand soldiers to provide for everyone, we'd work ourselves to death and still not feed them all. Within a few months, the base would collapse from the inside."

The moment that rare surname Jin came up, Xie Li immediately thought of Jin Zhaoye. This Director Jin was very likely Jin Zhaoye's mother.

Just from the soldier's description, Xie Li could sense the wisdom of this Director Jin she'd never met.

Since ancient times, wherever refugees gathered, trouble inevitably followed. Too many mouths, too many voices, desires impossible to fill—once fed, people wanted warm clothes; once clothed, they wanted houses; once they had houses, they wanted power. That was human nature.

Director Jin had clearly seen this coming and strangled the problem at its source from the very start: the base would support no idlers. If you wanted to eat your fill and dress warm, earn it yourself.

Perhaps because she figured Xie Li and Lan Ran had unusual connections—knowing both the Commander and Dr. Jin—the soldier's chatterbox opened completely, and she answered their questions the whole way.

The two quickly gained a preliminary understanding of the base: where the mission hall was, the canteen's hours, the orphanage's intake standards, which tasks were easier...

After walking some distance, dense clusters of tents and prefab shelters appeared on the left side of the main road. Gray-green tents stood one against another as far as the eye could see, with all manner of clothing hung outside them, swaying gently in the night breeze.

Some survivors had lit fires outside their tents, pots boiling with who-knew-what, and many others wearing clothes just like theirs squatted outside, cooling off and chatting.

For a dazed moment, Xie Li had the illusion she'd stepped into some foreign slum—the same crowding, the same scarcity.

The soldier led them into the tent area. After a short distance, she pointed at one of the newer tents. "There are free spots here. You'll stay in this one. Don't go wandering into other people's tents."

She glanced at Xiao Bao in Lan Ran's arms and added, "If you don't have time to look after the child, you can hand her over to the base's orphanage. Small children eat free—the base covers it."

Lan Ran nodded. "Okay, if we need it, we'll go."

"All right, I'm off then. Remember—no trouble, no fighting. If there's a dispute, find the patrol team." The soldier gave one last warning, then turned and left with her rifle.

Xie Li stood at the tent entrance watching the soldier walk away, then bent down and lifted the flap. A wave of stifling, murky air hit her in the face, almost suffocating.

The tent was reasonably spacious inside, with a few moisture-proof mats on the ground. Two people sat on them.

One was an old acquaintance, Fang Mai. The other she didn't know—young and clean-cut looking, long hair tied in a ponytail. Hearing the movement, the stranger glanced up at them, then quickly looked away.

Fang Mai stood, an honest smile spreading across her dark face. "I thought the voices at the door sounded familiar. It really is you two. Come in, come in."

Xie Li nodded at her. "What a coincidence. When did you get out?"

Fang Mai said, "Practically one step ahead of you. I'd just sat down when you arrived."

"Ugh, this tent's basically the same as the prefab room—a total sauna. Fang Mai, how do you stand it?" Lan Ran wailed, choking on the stuffy heat, and darted back out to fan herself at the entrance.

Xie Li also backed out of the tent. The prefab rooms were hot; the tents were worse.

The canvas had soaked up the whole day's sun and was still exhaling the heat bit by bit into the evening. The air was thick with an inescapable reek of sweat, mixed with the rubbery smell of sun-baked canvas and foot odor drifting from somewhere. It was truly suffocating.

The back of Xie Li's T-shirt was already soaked through, sweat beading on her forehead and running down the bridge of her nose. Soon her collar was drenched too.

Lan Ran wiped the sweat off her face and looked at the little girl in her arms, cheeks flushed red from the heat, her expression worried.

"Li-wu, this place really isn't fit for a child. Tomorrow let's take Xiao Bao to the orphanage."

Xiao Bao lifted her head at that, her baby voice full of grievance. "Ranran-jiejie, are you sending Xiao Bao away?"

Lan Ran's nose stung. Not knowing how to answer, she looked at Xie Li for help.

Xie Li reached out and touched Xiao Bao's sweat-dampened forehead. "Nobody's abandoning you. Your big sisters want to take you to have a look. If the orphanage has better conditions than here, you'll stay there, and we'll come visit you often. We're not getting rid of you."

Xiao Bao gave a sullen little "oh," her small arms still wrapped tightly around Lan Ran, as if afraid of being left behind.

The three stood at the tent entrance, silent. The base's awful living conditions had dealt a heavy blow to the two young women. Compared to this, wandering outside suddenly didn't seem so bad.

Out there, at least they'd been free. They had a car, food, and vast open land. They could go wherever they wanted, unshackled by anyone's rules.

...

Outside the tent area, a tall, slender figure hurried over.

Jin Zhaoye scanned her surroundings as she walked and quickly spotted Xie Li standing at the tent entrance.

She quickened her steps, her voice apologetic. "Sorry, I was tied up with work at the institute and missed the time to pick you up."

Xie Li turned at the sound and looked at the woman she hadn't seen in two days.

Jin Zhaoye wore a clean white shirt and dark gray trousers, her work ID badge swaying gently at her chest, her hair tied in a low ponytail, a pair of rimless glasses perched on her nose.

It was the first time Xie Li had seen her in glasses. They gave her an extra scholarly air.

Clean and crisp, like someone from another world—she didn't belong in this foul-smelling tent area at all.

"It's fine." Xie Li tugged the corners of her mouth into a smile and quietly took a step back. "We just got out of quarantine ourselves. Did you run here? Your face is covered in sweat."

Jin Zhaoye noticed her movement. Her brow furrowed, and she stepped forward to take Xie Li's hand, displeased. "What are you dodging for? Two days apart, and the moment you see me, you hide?"

"It's not that..." Xie Li hung her head, embarrassed, staring at her toes curled inside the plastic slippers.

"I didn't want to fumigate you. I stewed in that prefab room for two days—I must smell like a moldy rag right now."

Jin Zhaoye shot her a reproachful look. "Am I afraid of a little smell? Have I not soaked in zombie-infested filthy water enough times? When have you ever minded me stinking? Come on, you're staying at my place. Lan Ran and Xiao Bao too."

Lan Ran was tempted, but she didn't speak. She looked at Xie Li, waiting for her decision.

Xie Li let Jin Zhaoye hold her hand, thinking of everything she'd just heard—of the polished, presentable Fu Yunsheng and Jin Zhaoye, and of that Director Jin.

"Your place... your mothers are there too, right?"

"Mm. Do you have all your luggage with you?" Jin Zhaoye reached for the pack on Xie Li's back.

Xie Li stepped back, avoiding her hand. "Lan Ran and I won't go. But if it's convenient... could you take Xiao Bao home and look after her for a few days?"

Jin Zhaoye looked at her empty hand, then at Xie Li with a frown, a flicker of confusion in her eyes.

"Can you tell me why you don't want to stay at my home?"

Xie Li didn't know how to put all those stifled feelings into words. She just didn't want to show up at Jin Zhaoye's home—before Jin Zhaoye's mothers—this wretched and bedraggled.

Pulling up her collar to wipe the sweat dripping off her jaw, she raised a smile again at Jin Zhaoye. Her mouth curved, her eyes curved too, but the smile looked forced no matter how you saw it.

"I'm not ready to meet the parents yet. Give me a few days to adjust, then I'll come pay a proper visit, okay?"

"Starting tomorrow I'll be in the research institute, and I'll probably be busy." Jin Zhaoye frowned. "If you stay here, once I get busy I won't have time to come see you."

"It's okay. Focus on your own work. I'll move out of here soon, and then I'll come find you."

Looking at her forcing that smile, Jin Zhaoye felt a stab of pain in her chest. She stepped forward, wanting to pull her into an embrace.

Xie Li retreated again, dodging. "Jin Zhaoye, don't—not right now. I really don't feel like hugging you at the moment."

The outstretched hand froze in midair.

"Did something happen during quarantine?"

"Nothing happened. We slept the whole time. I genuinely think going to your home right now isn't appropriate. Please don't push me, all right?"

Jin Zhaoye withdrew her hand and let it fall to her side. She looked at Xie Li across that single step of distance, looked at her for a long time. Xie Li met her gaze calmly, the stubbornness in her eyes unmistakable.

"Fine. I won't push you."

She turned, took Xiao Bao from Lan Ran's arms, and strode away.

Xie Li stood where she was, watching that white figure recede into the night until it disappeared completely.

She hugged her knees and squatted down, burying her face in them, sighing soundlessly.

Lan Ran squatted beside her, shoulder to shoulder, the two of them like little animals huddled together for warmth.

"I'm fine," Xie Li said dully.

"I haven't even started comforting you and you're already saying you're fine?" Lan Ran laughed and patted her shoulder. "Why the sudden spat with the goddess? Because she was late picking us up?"

"No, it has nothing to do with that." Xie Li pushed herself up on her knees and stood. She couldn't keep up the melancholy act—any longer and the mosquitoes would eat her alive.

She scratched at the bites on her calf and muttered, "I guess I'm feeling a bit inferior. Let's go, time to sleep. We have tasks to grab tomorrow."

Lan Ran stood too, staring at Xie Li like she was an alien.

"Li-wu, not to criticize you, but you dared to date my goddess, and you're only NOW feeling inferior? Isn't that a little late?"

Xie Li's mouth twitched. She glared at her. "Somehow that doesn't sound like a compliment."

"I'm just stating facts!" Lan Ran had an are-you-kidding-me expression.

"The whole world knows my goddess is beautiful, brilliant, smart, well-born, highly educated. Dating her means being ready to be crushed on every front. You never cared before—why the sudden inferiority complex? Is your internet that slow? Your insecurity only just loaded?"

Xie Li was stunned for a moment.

Right. She had never once cared about Jin Zhaoye's status or position. Her mind had held exactly one thought: snatch Jin Zhaoye away from Fu Yunsheng. Now that she'd snatched her, what was she even feeling inferior about?

The base's feng shui must be bad. It was affecting her.

"Forget it. Sleep first. Tomorrow we grind for contribution points and rent a place. Everything else can wait."

The two ducked into the tent, set down their packs, found empty spots on the moisture-proof mats, lay down, and closed their eyes.

The tent was still stifling and airless. Its only virtue was probably safety. The people lying here could close their eyes without a worry, no fear of zombies or mutated creatures creeping up to their bedsides in the middle of the night.

...

The next day, before dawn, the tent area was already bustling.

Survivors got up one after another. Footsteps, voices, the clanging of metal basins filtered through the canvas in three-hundred-sixty-degree surround sound—nowhere to hide from it.

Xie Li opened her eyes and stared at the tent's canvas ceiling, exhaustion in her gaze. She couldn't survive another day of this life.

She rolled over and sat up, tugging at the T-shirt stuck to her body. She was soaked head to toe as if freshly fished out of water, her hair plastered damply to her neck. Miserable.

This summer was definitely the hardest summer of her life.

Lan Ran sat up too, complaining before her eyes were even open. "Phew, nearly roasted your big sis to death. The miracle is I didn't collapse from heatstroke."

"This heat really isn't normal," Fang Mai muttered as well.

"The temperature rises every day, but people's heat tolerance rises with it," chimed in the female Alpha sleeping in the farthest corner.

The three in the tent all looked over at her. She returned a smile. "Tang Ran. Former shooting athlete, current refugee. Hello."

"Hi, hi." Lan Ran introduced everyone with a grin. "I'm Lan Ran, college student. This is my good friend Xie Li, also a college student. And this is Fang Mai—she's amazing, she can fix cars."

The four got briefly acquainted, then pushed aside the tent flap together and headed straight for the mission hall.

Showering and changing clothes was out of the question—they'd just arrived at the base without a single contribution point to their names, and even water cost points.

Early in the morning, the mission hall was already packed.

Xie Li and the others went in for a look. The task with the most takers was construction. On the way over she'd already seen that the base was urgently putting up new buildings—no doubt to house the ever-growing flood of survivors.

"Shall we go build houses too?" Fang Mai asked, looking at the three of them.

"I want to join a field team," Xie Li said.

Tang Ran: "Then let's go take a look together."

The field team recruitment station was in the farthest corner of the mission hall, a single window staffed by someone in camouflage. Seven or eight people were lined up in front of it, all young Alphas.

Xie Li, Lan Ran, and the others queued at the back and waited a while before their turn came.

The staff member glanced up at them and said flatly: "Not enough people to form a squad. Military teams aren't taking survivors for now. If you want to go out, scrape together five people yourselves and come register."

They wandered the mission hall asking everyone they met if they wanted to form a field team. Most shook their heads the moment they heard "field work." What a joke—you could earn your meals working inside the base, while field work could get you killed. Who would be crazy enough to run outside?

"Let's build houses first." Fang Mai patted Xie Li's shoulder. "Work while we recruit. Better than waiting around doing nothing."

With no other choice—she couldn't go out alone—Xie Li took the construction job along with everyone else.

The construction site was on the other side of the tent area, a ten-minute walk from the mission hall. Before they even arrived, they were drenched in sweat.

The blazing sun hung in a cloudless sky. Sunlight landing on their skin carried a scorching sting that couldn't be ignored.

Xie Li's assigned job was hauling bricks. Over the course of the morning, her T-shirt went from wet to dry to wet again, more times than she could count.

If it weren't for the free bowl of water distributed every hour at the site, the laboring survivors would have all been sun-dried into jerky.

Come lunchtime, everyone at the site was issued a meal voucher for the canteen.

Xie Li's group trudged toward the canteen with drooping heads—and ran into familiar faces before they even got there.

Liu Zhaoyang, Zhou Yu, and the others approached from another direction, equally wilted.

"Xie Li~ Lan Ran~" Zhou Yu waved at them from a short distance away.

"Where are you coming from?" Xie Li mustered the energy to ask.

"Digging drainage ditches." Zhou Yu held up her arm. "Look how swollen my hand is. The mosquitoes over there are like dragonflies—one bite takes half a jin of my blood."

"We're hauling bricks at the construction site," Lan Ran said feebly. "Nearly got sunstroke."

"Haha, we're all miserable. We already did the brick-hauling stint before—that's why we picked ditch digging today," Liu Zhaoyang said with a laugh.

The group entered the canteen. There were seven or eight serving windows, each with a long line.

Liu Zhaoyang pulled everyone toward Window One, lowering her voice mysteriously: "Line up here. Trust me, you won't regret it."

When they reached the window, Xie Li understood why. The plump auntie they hadn't seen in ages had once again landed a canteen job.

She wore a white apron and a white chef's hat, round all over, her cheeks flushed red from the steam, the big ladle in her hand dancing with practiced ease—clearly a veteran canteen lady.

Seeing Xie Li, the plump auntie flashed a knowing smile. She flicked her ladle, fished two pieces of meat straight from the bottom of the dish, and dropped them into Xie Li's stainless steel bowl.

Xie Li looked down at her food. The auntie winked at her and bellowed, "Next!"

Sitting down at a table, Xie Li split one of the two pieces of meat to Lan Ran.

"The auntie plays favorites—she gave you meat, we just got extra veggies." Lan Ran popped the fatty-lean pork belly into her mouth, chewing as she mumbled, "Oh my god, your sis never used to touch fatty meat. Why does it taste good now?"

"Want more? You can have this one too," Xie Li said, moving to pass over the second piece.

"No, no, no, eat it yourself. Your sis doesn't hog food," Lan Ran waved her off.

Xie Li didn't actually like fatty meat either, but she wasn't picky. She shoveled it down with big mouthfuls of rice.

Bellies full, they didn't rush off, resting in the canteen for a while. Xie Li learned from the others that Jiang Nanxu and Luo Peishan had also made it to the base safely, but the group had been split up after entering and hadn't seen each other since.

Inside the base, Alphas and Omegas had separate living and work zones. They could only move within the Alpha areas.

Xie Li broached the subject: "We want to join a field team but don't have enough people. Want in?"

Liu Zhaoyang agreed instantly. "Sure. We wanted to go out before too, but we were short on numbers and didn't want to team up with strangers—too easy to get screwed over."

"Then it's settled. Tomorrow we meet at the mission hall and go together," Xie Li declared.

Business settled, the groups split up—the ditch diggers back to their ditches, the brick haulers back to their bricks.

With Xie Li's current physique, hauling bricks itself wasn't hard—her physical abilities far exceeded an ordinary person's—but hauling bricks under a blazing sun was another matter entirely. Heavy labor didn't scare her; the sun did.

By sundown, Xie Li had finished the day's work and received twenty contribution points, the cost of lunch already deducted from her wages.

Clutching the precious twenty-point card, the group dragged their exhausted bodies back.

Back at the tent, Xie Li grabbed a change of clothes and called Lan Ran to go shower. If they didn't wash soon, the salt crusted on their bodies could be scraped off to season a stir-fry.

"Let's go, let's go, your sis can't take it anymore. After the shower let's go check on Xiao Bao." Lan Ran grabbed her own clothes and pushed Xie Li toward the exit.

"We should ask first whether visitors are allowed," Xie Li said.

Fang Mai and Tang Ran took their clothes and followed behind them.

At the edge of the tent area stood a makeshift bathhouse—a gray-white prefab structure with the characters for "bathhouse" painted on the wall in red.

A long line stretched out the door. Female Alphas held their basins and shuffled in slippers, idly chatting—about why this damned base couldn't install more faucets, why showers were limited to five minutes, why going overtime cost double points.

Their words were all complaints, yet thick with the flavor of everyday life. In the base, any trivial matter was worth a good grumble.

It took over half an hour of queuing before their turn. Once inside, they didn't even bother undressing, showering fully clothed.

When the cold water came down, Xie Li felt reborn.

She stood under the faucet, eyes closed, letting the cold water pour over her head, washing away bit by bit the whole day's accumulated heat.

"Quick, quick, Li-wu, turn off the water, we're almost over time," Lan Ran urged from the side.

Xie Li opened her eyes and shut off the tap, peeled off her soaked T-shirt and wrung it out. The best part of showering in your clothes was doing laundry at the same time—by the end of the shower, the clothes were washed too.

Changed into dry clothes, the group carried their wet laundry and ambled back toward the tent area.

The sky had gone dark. Streetlamps lit up around the tent area—old-fashioned incandescent bulbs, low wattage, simply hung from the tops of tents. They didn't cast light far, barely enough to see the ground underfoot.

Lan Ran walked beside Xie Li, chattering nonstop: "I think I might be a bit of a masochist. Today was brutal, but showering after a hard day's work and strolling back to where we sleep like this—I actually taste a rare bit of peace and happiness. It just feels safe. No walking on eggshells at all."

As she talked, she realized the person beside her hadn't responded in a while. She turned her head—Xie Li had fallen a step behind and was standing frozen in place.

Lan Ran stopped and followed Xie Li's line of sight.

Someone stood at their tent's entrance. Someone utterly out of place here.

Jin Zhaoye stood at the tent door in a light blue cotton-linen shirt and off-white wide-leg trousers, the shirt hem loosely tucked in, sleeves rolled to her forearms, exposing a stretch of slender pale wrist. A chubby little girl rested on one arm.

Her other hand held a bulging paper bag, contents unknown.

Dim yellow light fell from above her head. Standing there, she looked almost too beautiful to be real.

Lan Ran glanced at Xie Li, then at Jin Zhaoye, and very tactfully took the wet clothes from Xie Li's hands. She murmured, "I'll head in first," quickly walked up to Jin Zhaoye, took Xiao Bao from her arms, and ducked into the tent.

Fang Mai and Tang Ran ducked in after her. Outside the tent, only Xie Li and Jin Zhaoye remained—plus perhaps the curious gazes of those cooling off nearby.

Jin Zhaoye's lips curved. She walked toward Xie Li.

The distance between them shrank, close enough that Xie Li could smell the fragrance on her, until the tips of Jin Zhaoye's shoes touched the front of Xie Li's plastic slippers. Only then did she stop.

Xie Li lowered her eyes, looking at the less-than-a-fist gap between them, and asked softly, "Why are you waiting here? Didn't you say you'd be busy?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

Jin Zhaoye's tone was full of helplessness. She lifted the bag in her hand. "The moment I thought of someone over here not eating well and not sleeping well, I couldn't focus on work. I had to set aside everything at the institute and come bring you dinner."