Chapter 59: This Seat Is Only So Promising

The Feathermen took them eastward to the Yangtze River port and summoned a ship that could sail on its own, protected by a boundary, and released it into the sea.

It was the first time Mo Ran had been away from her teacher and spent time with Shi Mei on this night, but strangely, it didn't seem as exciting as she had expected.

Xue Meng and Xia Sini have gone to bed, and Mo Ran lies alone on the deck with his arms behind his head, staring at the stars.

Shi Mei came out of the cabin, took some dried fish that she had bought from the fishermen and sat down next to Mo Ran, while the two of them munched on the dried fish and chatted.

"Mo Ran, if we go to Peach Blossom Yard, we may not be able to make it to the Lingshan Mountain sword fight, I don't mind, but you and the young master are both very good people, do you regret losing your chance to show your mettle"

Mo Ran turned his head and smiled, "What's the point, fame and all that, it's more important than anything to go to Peach Blossom Yard and learn how to protect the people who matter."

Shi Mei's eyes were full of light and she said gently, "If you can think like that, your master will be very happy when he finds out."

"What about you? Are you happy?"

"And I'm certainly happy about it."

The waves lap against the boats and the wooden boats lurch across the sea.

Mo Ran lies on his side and looks at Shi Mei for a moment, wanting to flirt with her but not knowing how to say anything. In his eyes, Shi Mei looked unattainably pure.

Perhaps because she is so pure, the lustful thoughts that come to her when she is with Chu Wanning do not come easily to her when she is with Shi Mei.

Mo Ran fumed for a moment.

Shi Mei sensed him looking at her and turned her head, brushing her long hair behind her ear, which had been blown by the sea breeze, and smiled slightly, "What is it?"

Mo Ran blushed and quirked her head, "It's nothing."

He had originally thought of taking the opportunity to carefully confess his feelings to Shi Mei on this occasion. But the words came out of his mouth several times, but he couldn't get them out.

Confession.

And then?

When faced with such a clean, gentle person, Mo Ran is unable to be violent or forceful and is afraid of rejection, and even if she is accepted, she is afraid of not knowing how to get along with Shi Mei.

After all, in his previous life, he had handled his brief fling with Shi Mei really badly too apart from that intimacy in the Ghost Master's vision, he hadn't even kissed anyone.

Not to mention that after this life, he was even a little unsure whether the person in the vision was Chu Wanning or Shi Mei.

Shi Mei still smiled, "But you, it seems like you really have something to say to me."

Mo Ran's heart heated up and for a moment it seemed like she wanted to recklessly break through the window again.

But for some reason, a white figure suddenly flashed before my eyes, with an emaciated face, not very smiley, always alone and very lonely.

Suddenly the throat felt like it was blocked and no more words could come out.

Mo Ran turned his head and stared at the starry night sky.

After a long time, he said silently, " Shi Mei, you really mean a lot to me."

"Hmm. I know, you did the same for me."

Mo Ran added, "You know I had a nightmare earlier where you you were gone and I was so sad."

Shi Mei laughed: "You're quite silly."

Mo Ran: "I will protect you."

"Good, then thank you in advance for my good master."

Mo Ran's heart fluttered and she couldn't help but say, "I"

Shi Mei asked softly, "What else do you want to say?"

The sound of the waves seemed so loud and the oars lurched. Shi Mei looked at him quietly, as if waiting for him to say the last word.

But Mo Ran closed his eyes, "It's nothing. It's cool at night, go back to your cabin and sleep."

"" Shi Mei was quiet for a moment and asked, "What about you?"

Mo Ran is sometimes really silly: "I look at the stars and blow the wind."

Shi Mei did not move, and after a moment, smiled, "Good, then I will leave. You get an early night's rest."

Turn around and go.

The sky is high as the boom travels across the sea.

The guy lying on the deck was oblivious to what he had missed, he was actually just a bit distracted and kept trying to tap into his true innermost emotions, which he mulled over for a long time because he was so lacking, and when the sky was white with fish bellies, he still hadn't come up with a clue.

Mo Ran thought he would be desperate to confess his love to Shi Mei when they were alone, but that's not what he found when he reached the bridge. He is still too clumsy to confess his love to Shi Mei at this point in time, and even if he doesn't, he won't be able to talk about it.

With Shi Mei, he seems to be more used to this kind of hazy ambiguity. Sometimes, with his heart in his mouth, he takes the other's hand seemingly without thinking, and the tenderness in his chest flows out like honey.

The feeling was so natural that he didn't really want to break it right away.

When he returned to the cabin late at night, everyone was already asleep. Mo Ran lies back on his obeisance seat, looking out of the narrow Little Tian window into the night, and the figure of Chu Wanning slowly emerges before him, sometimes with his eyes closed, sometimes with a stern frown.

Of course, Mo Ran also remembered the way that person looked curled up in sleep, meek and lonely, like a sleeping begonia in spring that was left unattended because it was blooming too high.

Hatred aside, Chu Wanning's involvement with him in his past life runs deeper than anyone else in the world.

He took a lot of firsts from Chu Wanning, whether the other person wanted them to or not.

Like the first kiss, the first time you cook, the first time you shed a tear.

And Chu Wanning's first night.

To die, the thought of it made him hot and his blood rushed down his body.

In contrast, he also gave Chu Wanning some of his firsts, whether he wanted them or not.

For example, first time worshippers, first time coaxers, first time flower givers.

Disappointed in a person for the first time.

and, for the first time, moving.

Yes, the first move.

The first person he saw when he came to the Top of the Dead was not Shi Mei, but Chu Wanning.

Under the begonia tree that day, the young man in white was so focused and beautiful that at first sight, Mo Ran felt that he would not want anyone but this man to be his master.

But from which moment did everything change?

Since when did the person he cared for become Shi Mei and the person he hated become the Master?

He had thought about it carefully over the past few months, and then he thought that it must have been after that misunderstanding.

It was the first time he had been punished with a willow vine by Chu Wanning. The fifteen-year-old boy returned to his bedchamber battered and bruised, curled up alone on his bed with a lump in his throat and red eyes. The wound on his back was the least of his worries, but what upset him most was the cold look on his master's face, as if he was beating a dog that had lost its home, without any mercy. He had stolen the begonias from the medicinal garden, but he did not know how precious they were, nor did he know how much effort Madam Wang had spent, waiting five years for one to come into full bloom.

All he knew was that he had come home that moonlit night and seen a glowing white on the branch.

The petals are cool in colour and fragrant and light.

He tilted his head in admiration for a moment and remembered his master. At that moment, his heart felt a strange stirring for some reason, and it seemed that even his fingertips were burning slightly. Before he could react, he had already carefully folded the flower, moving gently, afraid to touch even a drop of dew on the stamen.

Through a curtain of thick lashes he looked at the late night begonias with their clear dew under the moonlight, and he did not know that at that moment he was leaving Chu Wanning with a tenderness and affection so pure that it would not be repeated for the next ten years, twenty years, until death.

Before the flowers could be presented to the Master, Xue Meng, who had come to collect medicine for her mother, saw them.

Chu Wanning looked back at him with his scroll in hand and, with a cold, sharp gaze, glanced at Mo Ran's face and asked him what he had to say.

Mo Ran said, "I folded the flowers because I wanted to give them."

In his hand he still holds the spring sleeping begonia, frozen with frost and dew, indescribably cold and delicate.

But Chu Wanning's eyes were so cold, so cold that the lava-like heat in his chest cooled down, foot by foot.

The word "you" could no longer be uttered.

That feeling was all too familiar to him, the look he had received every day before he had returned to the summit of death and life, when he was short and skinny, shuttling between the musician and his benefactor

That contempt, that disdain

Mo Ran had a sudden jolt of discomfort.

Is it possible that the Master despises him?

In the face of Chu Wanning's icy questioning, Mo Ran felt his heart chill. He bowed his head and said quietly, "I have nothing to say."

The final word.

Because of this begonia, Chu Wanning beat him with 40 canes. He beat him until Mo Ran's initial goodwill towards him was in tatters.

But if Mo Ran had been willing to explain more, if Chu Wanning had been willing to ask more, then perhaps everything would have been different, and the pair might not have taken the first step towards the end of their lives.

But there are not so many ifs.

And it was at this point that warmth, like Shi Mei, appeared at his side.

When he returned from Chu Wanning, Mo Ran didn't go to dinner, he curled up in bed and left the light on.

Shi Mei pushes in and sees this figure frozen in the darkness. He gently placed the dragon's hand in red oil on the table and went to the bed, calling out softly, "Mo Ran".

Mo Ran, who was not deeply attached to Shi Mei at the time, did not look back, his bloodshot eyes still fixed on the wall, his voice raspy and heavy when he spoke.

"Get out."

"I'll deliver it to you."

"You get out of here."

" Mo Ran, you don't have to do that."

""

"The Master's temper is bad, it's nothing once you get used to it. You get up and eat something."

Mo Ran is as stubborn as a stubborn donkey that can't be dragged back by ten horses.

"No, I'm not hungry."

"If you don't eat, the master will be angry." Before he could even say it, Mo Ran sat up, her moisture-laden gaze aggrieved and angry, trembling slightly through her eyelashes.

"Angry what is he angry about mouth on my own face, eat or not eat and what does it matter to him in fact he does not want me as a disciple at all, I starve to death the best, starve to death also to save his master's heart, so that his old man happy."

Shi Mei :""

Not expecting his words to hit Mo Ran where it hurts, he was at a loss for words. He just stared blankly at the young master in front of him.

After a long time, Mo Ran's mood eased a little and he lowered his head, his long hair falling down the side of his face, covering half of his face.

Mo Ran said, "I'm sorry."

Shi Mei could not see his face, only his shoulders were trembling, his fingers were balled into fists, and the meridians on the back of his hands were a pale blue colour.

After holding back for a while, he finally sat curled up, hugging his knees and buried his head in tears. His voice was broken and hoarse, staccato, with a mixture of madness and confusion, pain and sorrow.

He cried out from his heart, repeating the same words over and over again

"I just want a home ah this fifteen years, I really really just want a home ah why do you look down on me why do you look at me like this why, why do you all look down on me"

He cried for a long time and Shi Mei stayed with him and sat for a long time.

When Mo Ran had had enough of crying, Shi Mei handed him a white handkerchief and brought him a cold dish of red butter.

Shi Mei said in a gentle voice, "Stop saying silly things like starving to death or not, since you have returned to the top of death and life and are under the Master's tutelage, you are my senior brother, I have also lost my parents since I was young, so if you are willing, just treat me like family. Come, eat."

""

"I wrapped these hands, so even if you don't want to show respect to your master, you have to show respect to me, right?" Shi Mei curled her mouth slightly and scooped up a crystal-full hand and passed it to Mo Ran's lips, "Have a taste."

Mo Ran's eyes were still red and her moisture-filled eyes were open as she looked at the man at her bedside, finally releasing her mouth and allowing the gentle teenager to feed her food over to her.

In fact, the bowl of copra was already cold and over-soaked, missing the best time to eat it.

But at that moment, in the candle flame, it was this bowl of food that had been sent from a long way away, accompanied by that magnificent face with its gentle eyes, that was engraved in the heart in a moment. In life and in death, it will never be forgotten.

It was probably from that night onwards.

His hatred for his master grew deeper and deeper, and it was from that day onwards that he became convinced that Shi Mei was the most important person in his life.

After all, people crave warmth.

Especially the frozen mourning dogs, who shiver at the sight of the salt sprinkled on them, fearing the snowflakes falling and dreading the harsh winter to come.

Fairy Tramper looks good, but only he knows that.

He was really just a stray dog who was looking for a place to curl up, a place to call home, but he had been looking for fifteen years and could not find it.

So, his love-hate becomes simple and ridiculous

Someone gave him a stick and he hated it.

Someone gave him a bowl of gravy and he fell in love.

There is only so much to show for it.