Chapter 99: Regret, the Twenty-First — 2

Jin Ling stole another sidelong glance at Wei Wuxian. With no dog at his side now, Wei Wuxian could at last gather his scattered wits back together, and he said, head aching, 'You child... this late, what are you doing coming all the way out here alone, dragging a dog along?'

What he did not know was this: after he, Lan Wangji, and Wen Ning had taken the boat away from Lotus Pier, Jin Ling had gone looking for him in secret, only to find him vanished without a trace, and had then loosed his temper on that uncle of his who, for reasons no one could fathom, had gone about seizing people and forcing them to pluck out some wretched sword — pointing in his face and railing that it was all because of him that Wei Wuxian had fled, until Jiang Cheng laid him flat on the ground with a single blow. So Jin Ling, in for a penny and in for a pound, had taken Fairy himself and gone tracking Wei Wuxian down. Fairy did not disappoint: following Wei Wuxian's scent, he traced his way unerringly to the vicinity of the Guanyin Temple, but the moment Jin Ling knocked at the door he caught the killing intent seething within, and abruptly wheeled about, seizing his master's robe in his teeth and barking wild warning. But there was something faintly off about this Guanyin Temple, and Jin Ling reckoned that even if Wei Wuxian were not here he had to see the thing through — and so, in the end, he too had fallen into enemy hands.

Jin Ling naturally could not possibly tell the truth, and only gave a snort.

Jin Guangyao led the several of them into the temple, and as the great door was about to close he turned his head to ask his subordinate, 'And the spirit-hound?'

One of the monks said, 'That black-maned spirit-hound is fierce beyond measure, biting at whoever comes near. Through my own failing, it got away.'

Jin Guangyao said, 'Go after it and kill it. The hound is clever — if it leads someone here, that will be awkward.'

'Yes!'

The monk drew his sword and went out, and the great door swung shut. Jin Ling, aghast, blurted, 'You really mean to kill him? You're the one who gave Fairy to me!'

Jin Guangyao did not answer, but asked instead, 'A-Ling, what did you come all the way here to do?'

Jin Ling glanced at Wei Wuxian and hesitated, not answering. Suddenly Lan Xichen said, 'Sect Leader Jin, Jin Ling is still only a child.'

Jin Guangyao looked over at him and said, 'I know that.'

Lan Xichen said, 'And he is your nephew.'

Jin Guangyao gave a soundless laugh. He said, 'Er-ge, what are you imagining? Of course I know Jin Ling is a child, and my nephew besides. What do you think I would do? Kill him to silence him?'

Lan Xichen kept his silence, and Jin Guangyao shook his head and said to Jin Ling, 'A-Ling, you heard that. If you go running about or crying out, then perhaps I will do something dreadful to you. See to it yourself.'

Jin Ling had always been on the very best of terms with this xiao-shushu, and Jin Guangyao had doted on him a great deal in years past; even now he wore that same gentle, pleasant face. But matters being what they had become, Jin Ling found it hard to look at him with the same eyes as before. He walked quietly over to stand beside Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen, the very picture of obedience.

Jin Guangyao turned around and said, 'Still not dug it out? Tell the men inside to move faster!'

A monk answered, 'Yes!' and drew his sword and rushed back into the Guanyin Hall.

Only now did Wei Wuxian notice the layered, grinding clamour of earth and stone coming from that innermost main hall of Guanyin, as though a great many people were digging at something, and he thought to himself, 'What is he digging for? A tunnel? The Stygian Tiger Seal? Something sealed away down there?'

Jin Guangyao said, 'Come to think of it, I never asked — how did Master Wei come to know of this place? Don't tell me you and Hanguang-jun just happened to wander this way on a sightseeing jaunt.'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Lianfang-zun hid a great sheaf of land deeds in the secret room of Fangfei Hall, right alongside my manuscripts — have you forgotten?'

Jin Guangyao said, 'Ah, that was an oversight on my part. I should have kept them separate.'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Since one way or another none of us can wriggle out of your palm now, will Lianfang-zun tell me just what it is that lies sealed in this Guanyin Temple? Indulge my curiosity a little?'

Jin Guangyao said with a narrow-eyed smile, 'The price of indulging curiosity is hardly low. Are you sure you want to try, Young Master Wei?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Oh. Then I'll leave off trying for now.'

At this point Lan Xichen came to stand beside him. Only then did Wei Wuxian notice that the sword at Lan Xichen's waist had been drawn an inch from its sheath — yet no spirit-light coursed through it, and he said, 'Zewu-jun, what is this?'

Lan Xichen said, 'To my shame. I let myself be deceived, walked into the snare, and lost all my Spiritual Power. Even with Shuoyue and Liebing both upon me, they can be of no help now.'

Wei Wuxian said, 'No need for shame. Deceiving people is, after all, Lianfang-zun's signature art.'

Recalling the scene he had witnessed through Empathy, of Meng Yao feigning suicide to strike at Nie Mingjue, and then thinking back on that report that 'Lianfang-zun lies gravely wounded,' the manner in which Lan Xichen had lost his Spiritual Power was not hard to surmise.

Jin Guangyao instructed several of the monks, 'Set out an array formation. When Hanguang-jun comes presently, hold him back by whatever measure we can.'

Wei Wuxian said, 'How can you be so certain Hanguang-jun will come at all?'

His mind was still racing over whether to spin some lie and lull Jin Guangyao's guard. But Jin Guangyao, as though he had read the very thought, smiled faintly and said, 'Of course he will come. Since you, Young Master Wei, have fixed your eye on this Guanyin Temple, Hanguang-jun could hardly fail to know there was something strange about the place. Or does Young Master Wei suppose that, were he to tell me Hanguang-jun is not at his side, I would believe it?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'A clever man.'

Lan Xichen said, 'Young Master Wei, if Wangji is nearby, why is he not with you?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'We split up to act separately.'

But Lan Xichen was taken aback, and said, 'I heard you had just come down from the Burial Mounds, freshly wounded. How could he go off and act separately from you at such a time?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Who did you hear that from?'

Jin Guangyao said, 'From me.'

Wei Wuxian shot him a glance, then said to Lan Xichen, 'Here is how it was. Tonight I couldn't sleep and went out to walk beyond the inn, and only by chance stumbled my way here. Hanguang-jun is staying in another room; he doesn't know I came out.'

But Jin Guangyao found this odd. 'You're staying in two separate rooms?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Who told you we'd surely be staying in one?'

Jin Guangyao only smiled and said nothing, and Wei Wuxian said, 'Oh, I see.' Lan Xichen had told him.

Wei Wuxian said, 'You two really will say anything at all.'

But Lan Xichen had not the slightest air of jesting, and said, 'Young Master Wei, has something happened between you two?'

The genial smile had gone from his face, turned grave, and he looked all the more like Lan Wangji for it. Yet Wei Wuxian did not understand why he should react so strongly. Guilty to begin with, he said, 'Sect Leader Lan, what could possibly have happened with us? For now, let's deal with this one first.'

He cut his eyes toward Jin Guangyao, and only at the reminder did Lan Xichen say, 'I let myself grow anxious. Forgive me.'

But Jin Guangyao said with a smile, 'It would seem something truly has gone wrong. And no small something, at that.'

Wei Wuxian said with a cold laugh, 'The Hundred Cultivation Clans are all about to march against you, and Lianfang-zun has the leisure to spare? Still time to fret over other people's affairs? Awfully talkative, aren't you?'

Jin Guangyao said, 'I wouldn't presume — I merely sigh over it. Hanguang-jun kept his bitter vigil all these years, and to this very day still has not borne it to fruition. Not only does Sect Leader Lan have cause to fret; even one standing wholly outside it cannot bear to watch.'

Wei Wuxian turned on him sharply. 'What bitter vigil? Borne what to fruition?'

At these words, both Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen were the ones taken aback; the one and the other began in earnest to study his expression, as if to see whether he were playing the fool on purpose. Wei Wuxian's heart suddenly began to pound, as though something that had lain dead half the night were slowly stirring back to life within his chest. He forced himself to a show of composure and said, 'What do you mean by that?'

Jin Guangyao said, 'What do I mean — Young Master Wei, do you truly not understand, or only pretend not to? True or feigned, were Hanguang-jun to hear it, that would sting a little.'

Wei Wuxian said, 'I truly do not understand. Say it plainly!!!'

Lan Xichen said, dumbfounded, 'Young Master Wei, don't tell me that after being together with Wangji so long, you know nothing of his heart?'

Wei Wuxian seized hold of him in one motion, all but ready to kneel and beg him to spell it out clearly just this once. 'Sect Leader Lan, Sect Leader Lan, you — you speak of Lan Zhan's heart, his what heart? Is it — is it...'

Lan Xichen snatched his hand back, disbelieving. 'It seems you truly know nothing. But have you forgotten how he came by those Discipline Whip Scar marks upon his body? Did you not see the brand seared across his chest?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Discipline Whip Scars?!' He grasped Lan Xichen again and said, 'Sect Leader Lan, I truly do not know — I beg you, tell me: just how did those wounds on his body come to be? Could it be they have something to do with me?!'

A flush of anger rose in Lan Xichen's face, and he said, 'If not to do with you, then what — that he put them there upon himself, for no cause at all?'

Zewu-jun had ever been a man of the greatest self-possession, yet at this moment, where it touched Lan Wangji, his temper was genuinely roused. But looking closely at Wei Wuxian's face, his anger ebbed a little, and he asked, probing, 'You... your memory is damaged?'

Wei Wuxian said, 'My memory?' At once he set himself desperately to thinking of anything he might have forgotten, and said, 'I don't recall ever having any gap in my memo— there is one!'

There was indeed one stretch of memory that lay blurred and indistinct.

The Bloodbath of Nightless City!

That night, long ago, when he believed that Wen Qing and Wen Ning, sister and brother both, had already been ground to bone-ash and scattered to the wind, when he beheld the great clans massed in their impassioned array of denunciation, and when he watched with his own eyes Jiang Yanli die there before him, the madness in him at last broke loose; he fused the Stygian Tiger Seal whole and let it run unchecked to its slaughter — and each man slain by the corpses the seal commanded rose again as a new Fierce Corpse, so that there poured forth an unending stream of killing puppets, and thus was wrought a hell with blood smeared across the ground.

Afterward, though Wei Wuxian could still barely hold himself upright, in his daze he felt himself leave that shambles of a ruined city, yet for a long while his mind stayed clouded. By the time he came to himself, he had already been sitting in a blank stupor for a long time at the foot of the Burial Mounds of Yiling.

Lan Xichen said, 'Have you remembered?'

Wei Wuxian murmured, 'That time at Nightless City? I — I always thought I'd walked back there myself, in a daze. Could it be...'

Lan Xichen was so angered he could almost have laughed. 'Young Master Wei! That night at Nightless City, how many stood against you? Three thousand strong! However matchless a talent you may be, to come away whole from such straits — how could that be possible!'

Wei Wuxian said, 'Lan Zhan... what did Lan Zhan do?'

Lan Xichen said, 'What Wangji did — if you yourself do not remember, then I fear he will never, to the end of all his lives, tell you of his own accord, and you will never ask. Very well, then. Let me be the one to tell it.'

He said, 'Young Master Wei, that night, all those years ago, you raised the two halves of the Stygian Tiger Seal, fused them into one, and after you had killed your fill, you too were a spent bolt at the end of its flight. Wangji, hurt in your frenzy, was in little better case — barely keeping his feet, leaning on Bichen merely to stand. And even so, the moment he saw you stagger away, he followed at once.'

'By then there were scarcely any left on that field still in their senses, and I myself could hardly move; I could only watch, helpless, as Wangji — his Spiritual Power plainly all but drained to the dregs — limped after you, caught you up, gathered you onto Bichen, and bore you away by sword.'

'It was two hours before I recovered my Spiritual Power and hurried back to the Gusu Lan Clan for aid. I feared that if others of the clans found you first, Wangji would be taken for your accomplice — at best left with a lifelong stain and his name in ruins, at worst cut down without a word of inquiry. So together with my uncle I named thirty-three elders who had ever held Wangji in high regard, and we searched in secret by sword for two days, and at last found your traces within the bounds of Yiling. Wangji had hidden you in a mountain cave. When we arrived, you sat blankly upon a stone within it, and Wangji held your hand, pouring his Spiritual Power into you, speaking to you all the while in a low voice.'

'And from first to last, the word you repeated back to him was always the same one.'

'“Get out”!'

Wei Wuxian's throat was parched and hoarse, the rims of his eyes gone red, and he could not get out a single word. Lan Xichen said, 'My uncle appeared before him all at once, with a torrent of rebuke, and demanded he explain himself. As though he had long foreseen we would find him, he said there was nothing to explain — it was simply so. From childhood to manhood he had never once defied my uncle, nor me. Yet for your sake, Wangji not only defied him, but turned blade against the cultivators of his own Gusu Lan blood and line, and beat into grave injury all thirty-three elders we had brought...'

Wei Wuxian thrust both hands into his hair and said, '...I — I didn't know... I truly...'

Beyond repeating that he truly had not known, he could say nothing else. Lan Xichen held himself in check a long moment, then said, 'Thirty-three strokes of the Discipline Whip! All meted out at once, one stroke for each man. You of all people must know how it pains the flesh, how long one must lie abed after! After he stubbornly bore you back to the Burial Mounds against all counsel, he came home in silence to take his punishment, and knelt before the Discipline Stone — for how long! When I went to see him I told him: Young Master Wei has already wrought a grievous wrong; why must you compound a wrong with a wrong? But he said... that he could not pronounce upon whether what you had done was right or wrong; yet right or wrong, he was willing to bear all the consequences together with you. Those years called seclusion for reflection were in truth grave injury that left him scarcely able to walk. And even so, on learning of your death, he forced that same broken body onward, resolved that come what may he would go to the Burial Mounds and look, just once...'

'When he carried you off and hid you in that cave — the way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you — a man might be blind and deaf and still could not fail to grasp what was in his heart. That is why my uncle was beside himself with fury. As a boy Wangji was the model of every disciple; grown, the celebrated paragon of the cultivation world; all his life upright and proper, untouched by a speck of dust — and the one and only error he ever committed in this life was you! And yet you say... you say you did not know. Young Master Wei, after you were summoned back into this borrowed body, in how many ways did you press your declarations upon him, in how many ways entangle yourself with him? Every night... every night insisting on being with him... and yet you say you did not know? If you did not know, then why did you do all those things?'

Wei Wuxian truly wished he could go back to those very moments and kill himself. It was precisely because he had not known that he had dared do those things at all!

All at once he felt it dreadful. If Lan Wangji did not know that he simply did not remember those few days after the Bloodbath of Nightless City in his former life — if Lan Wangji believed that he had known his heart all along — then what, after his return, had everything he did amounted to?

At the start, carrying on with that gaudy, brazen manner, doing every shameful thing — all of it was to disgust Lan Wangji as quickly as he could, to get himself thrown out of the Cloud Recesses, and then never to meet again, each going his separate way. There was no chance Lan Wangji could fail to see his true attitude for what it was. And yet, even so, he had still... insisted on keeping him sheltered at his side, never letting Jiang Cheng find the chance to come near him or corner him. Every question answered, every request granted, indulged in a hundred ways, borne with in a thousand. Faced with Wei Wuxian's endlessly inventive teasing and provocation, vile as it well-nigh was, he had still kept himself courteous and in check, never once crossing the line.

Then back at the inn just now, when he had suddenly pushed him away — could it have been because... he too had taken it for one more reckless whim, a passing fancy gone bolder still?

Wei Wuxian truly could not bear to think any further. He bolted abruptly toward the front of the Guanyin Temple, and several cultivators at once moved to block his path. Jin Guangyao said, 'Young Master Wei, I can understand the agitation of your heart...'

All Wei Wuxian wanted now was to rush back to the inn, to rush to Lan Wangji's side and tell him his heart in a torrent of broken words. He struck down with a single palm the two monks who meant to pin his arms, and roared, 'You understand jack shit!'

As that palm came down, seven or eight men flung themselves upon him; Wei Wuxian's vision went black in an instant, while Jin Guangyao, off to the side, calmly saw out the rest of his sentence: '...I only wished to tell you there's no need to run in such haste. Your Hanguang-jun — he has already come.'

A blade of ice-blue sword-light fell from the heavens, screaming sharp, driving back every one of the figures that ringed Wei Wuxian round, and gathered itself into a single hand. Lan Wangji alighted before the Guanyin Temple without sound or stir, and looked at him, his expression no different from any other time; yet a tightness seized Wei Wuxian, and all the words he had been about to say crumpled at once into a knot and shrank back into his belly, his middle gripped in a spasm, so that he could only murmur, '...Lan Zhan.'

Jin Ling, who a moment before had been struck dumb listening to Lan Xichen's account, was overjoyed beyond measure at the sudden sight of Lan Wangji's arrival; but at one more look — at the way the two of them, he and Wei Wuxian, met each other's eyes — his face turned strange again. Jin Guangyao sighed, 'There, you see — I said it, didn't I: with you here, Young Master Wei, Hanguang-jun would surely come.'

Lan Wangji's wrist, holding Bichen, gave a turn — he was on the very point of acting — when Jin Guangyao said with a smile, 'Hanguang-jun, you had best fall back five paces.'

Wei Wuxian suddenly felt a faint, keen pain at the side of his neck. Lan Xichen said to him in a low voice, 'Careful. Don't move!'

Lan Wangji's gaze fixed upon Wei Wuxian's neck, and his face went faintly white.

A pale-gold qin-string, fine past noticing, was looped about Wei Wuxian's throat.