Chapter 114: Family Banquet

Lan Wangji said to Wei Wuxian: "Wait for me."

Wei Wuxian said: "How about I go in with you?"

Lan Wangji shook his head. "If you go in, he'll be even angrier."

Wei Wuxian thought it over. Fair enough. The second Lan Qiren laid eyes on him he went all wobbly-kneed and gasping like a candle in the wind, huffing and puffing more than usual. Better to do him a favor — out of sight, out of mind.

Lan Wangji looked at him, about to speak, and Wei Wuxian cut in: "Okay, okay, I know. No running, no shouting, no whatever-whatever, right? Relax. This time I'm back with you, I'll be careful, careful, careful — won't break a single rule on that stone of yours. Probably."

Lan Wangji said without thinking: "It's fine. Even if you break them…"

Wei Wuxian, sharp as ever: "Hm?"

Lan Wangji seemed to realize only then that what he'd blurted out was deeply improper. He turned his head away for a moment, then turned back, solemn: "…Nothing."

Wei Wuxian, baffled: "What did you just say? Even if I break them, what?"

Lan Wangji knew he was asking on purpose. He repeated, face stiff: "Wait for me outside."

Wei Wuxian waved a hand. "Fine, I'll wait. So grumpy. I'm gonna go play with your rabbits."

So Lan Wangji went off alone to face Lan Qiren's wrath, while Wei Wuxian got dragged halfway across the grounds by Little Apple. Little Apple had been practically vibrating with excitement since entering Cloud-Deep Unknown Place, full of donkey energy, and Wei Wuxian couldn't hold him back no matter how hard he pulled. The donkey hauled him straight to that lush green meadow.

A hundred or so fat little snowballs were curled up quietly in the grass, pink three-part mouths twitching, long ears flicking now and then, pink showing through. Little Apple held his head high and wedged himself right in among them, found his spot. Wei Wuxian crouched down, grabbed a rabbit at random, scratched its belly, and thought: Were there this many last time I was here? Is this one a boy or a girl? Oh… boy.

Thinking about it, Wei Wuxian realized he'd never actually checked whether Little Apple was a girl or a boy. He couldn't help glancing over. But before he could get a good look, he heard something and turned around.

A petite girl stood there holding a small basket, unsure whether to approach. When Wei Wuxian suddenly turned to look at her, she panicked, blushing bright red all over her face.

The girl was wearing the Gusu Lan Sect's Blue Clan Uniform, and a plain white Blue Clan Forehead Band properly tied across her brow — no cloud embroidery. Wei Wuxian thought: Holy shit. I've actually run into one in the wild!

A Female Cultivator. A Gusu Lan Sect Female Cultivator.

The Gusu Lan Sect was famous for being rigid. The whole "men and women must keep their distance" thing — no need to spell it out, they drilled it into every disciple's ear from childhood like a mantra, ten thousand times over. The male and female cultivators' study and rest areas were strictly separated, no crossing the line, rarely straying from their own zones. Even Night Hunts were usually split by gender — all men or all women, no mixed groups, rigid to the point of absurdity. Back when Wei Wuxian had studied at Cloud-Deep Unknown Place, he'd basically never seen a girl there. He'd genuinely doubted whether female cultivators even existed inside. A few times he'd thought he heard them reading somewhere, gotten curious and tried to follow the sound, only to be spotted immediately by some sharp-eyed patrol disciple who went and fetched Lan Wangji. After a few rounds of that, Wei Wuxian's enthusiasm had fizzled out and he'd stopped bothering.

But now — for the first time ever — he'd run into a live one at Cloud-Deep Unknown Place. A live one! A Female Cultivator!

Wei Wuxian sat up straight at once, eyes shining. Just as he was about to head over on his own, Little Apple suddenly scrambled to his feet, nearly knocked Wei Wuxian over, and bolted toward the girl.

Wei Wuxian: "?"

Once he reached her, the donkey lowered his head sweetly, shoving his muzzle and ears right under her hand.

Wei Wuxian: "???"

The girl, blushing, stared at Wei Wuxian, unsure what to say. Wei Wuxian squinted — she looked familiar. A moment later it clicked: wasn't this the round-faced girl he'd bumped into on the road after leaving Mo Family Village, and then again briefly at Dafan Mountain?

Even with a total stranger, Wei Wuxian could chat up a storm and get friendly in seconds — let alone a nice girl he'd already met a few times. He waved at her right away. "It's you!"

The girl clearly remembered him too — both the clean-faced version and the not-so-clean-faced version. She fidgeted, twisting her hands around the basket handle, and mumbled: "It's me…"

Wei Wuxian tossed aside the rabbit whose gender he'd just confirmed, hands behind his back, stepped closer, glanced at the carrots and greens in her basket, and smiled: "Here to feed the rabbits?"

The girl nodded. Lan Wangji was gone, Wei Wuxian had nothing to do, and now he was curious. "Want some help?"

The girl didn't know what to say, then nodded. Wei Wuxian grabbed a carrot and the two of them crouched down together in the grass. Little Apple shoved his head into the basket and rummaged around — no apples — so he reluctantly grabbed a carrot and made do.

The carrots in the basket were fresh. Wei Wuxian bit off a chunk first, then held it out to a rabbit, and asked: "Have you been the one feeding them all along?"

The girl said: "No… I only just started recently… When Han Guang-jun is here, he takes care of them. When he's not, it's Young Master Lan Sizhui and the others. And if they're not here either, then we come help out…"

Wei Wuxian thought: How does Lan Zhan feed rabbits? How old was he when he started? Did he come over with a little basket like this too?

Wei Wuxian chased some unbearably cute images out of his head and asked: "Are you a disciple of the Gusu Lan Sect now?"

The girl said shyly: "Mm."

Wei Wuxian said: "Gusu Lan Sect's not bad. When did that happen?"

The girl stroked a fluffy white rabbit as she spoke: "Not long after Dafan Mountain…"

Just then, both of them heard the soft sound of boots on grass. Wei Wuxian looked back — sure enough, Lan Wangji was walking toward them.

The girl scrambled to her feet in a panic and bowed respectfully: "Han Guang-jun."

Lan Wangji gave a small nod. Wei Wuxian was still sitting in the grass, smiling at him. The girl seemed terrified of Lan Wangji — which was normal, no junior at that age wasn't afraid of him. She grabbed her skirts and bolted. Wei Wuxian called after her several times: "Miss! Little sister! Your basket! Hey, Little Apple! Little Apple, come back! Why are you running too! Little Apple!"

Neither human nor donkey stopped for him. Wei Wuxian poked at the few remaining carrots in the basket and said to Lan Wangji: "Lan Zhan, you scared her off."

If Lan Wangji didn't want his footsteps heard, how had both of them caught them?

Wei Wuxian grinned and held out a carrot to him. "Want a bite? You feed the rabbits, I'll feed you."

"…" Lan Wangji looked down at him from above. "Get up."

Wei Wuxian tossed the carrot behind him and lazily held out a hand. "Pull me up."

After a pause, Lan Wangji reached to pull him up — but Wei Wuxian suddenly yanked, and pulled him down instead.

Their territory had been invaded by strange people. The rabbits panicked, running in circles around the two figures tangled on the ground. The ones closest to Lan Wangji actually stood up on their hind legs and climbed on top of him, worried about why their master had suddenly collapsed. Lan Wangji gently pushed them off and said calmly: "Cloud-Deep Unknown Place, Regulation Stone, family rule number seven: no disturbing female cultivators."

Wei Wuxian said: "You said it was fine even if I broke them."

Lan Wangji said: "I didn't."

Wei Wuxian said: "Oh, come on. Half-said doesn't count? What happened to Han Guang-jun, man of his word?"

Lan Wangji said: "'Every day.'"

Wei Wuxian touched his face, tender: "Did your uncle yell at you just now? Tell me, let gege feel bad for you."

The topic change was so clunky and obvious that Lan Wangji didn't bother calling it out. "No."

Wei Wuxian said: "Really? Then what did he say?"

Lan Wangji, without changing expression, pulled him into his arms. "Nothing much. It's rare for everyone to gather — tomorrow there's a Family Banquet."

Wei Wuxian beamed: "Family Banquet? Great, great, I'll be on my best behavior, won't embarrass you." Then he thought of Lan Xichen. "Where's your brother?"

After a pause, Lan Wangji said: "I'll go see him later."

Zewu-jun had been in closed-door cultivation lately, so Lan Wangji would certainly need to have a long talk with him. Wei Wuxian wrapped an arm around Lan Wangji and patted his back gently. After a while, he said: "Speaking of which, why haven't I seen Sizhui and the others this time?"

Those juniors would normally have been chattering around them at the gate already. Hearing Wei Wuxian mention Sizhui and the others, Lan Wangji's brow eased slightly. "I'll take you to them."

When he brought Wei Wuxian to Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and the others, the juniors did nothing but call out a few happy greetings — not because they didn't want to do more, but because they physically couldn't.

A dozen or so people, all in a row, doing handstands under the eaves. Each had shed their outer robe, wearing only thin white garments, head down, feet up. In front of each of them, sheets of white paper and an inkstone were spread on the ground. Left hand on the floor, right hand gripping a brush, painfully writing dense black characters.

Because they couldn't let their Blue Clan Forehead Band touch the ground, they were all sweating buckets, biting the tail of their band between their teeth — which meant they couldn't talk. The "few greetings" were really just bright-eyed "mm-mm-mm" sounds. Wei Wuxian looked at those trembling, swaying bodies and said: "Why do they have to do handstands?"

Lan Wangji said: "Punishment."

Wei Wuxian said: "I know it's punishment. I can see — they're copying the Lan Clan rules. I can recite the Rites of Etiquette by heart. What did they do?"

Lan Wangji said evenly: "Stayed out past the deadline and didn't return to Cloud-Deep Unknown Place."

Wei Wuxian: "Oh."

Lan Wangji: "Went on a Night Hunt with the Ghost General."

Wei Wuxian: "Hey! You guys have some nerve."

Lan Wangji said: "Third offense."

Wei Wuxian rubbed his chin. Fair enough — no wonder the evil-hating Lan Qiren had come down on them like this. Handstand copying was already pretty light.

He crouched in front of Lan Sizhui. "Sizhui, why does your stack look extra thick? Is that just me?"

Lan Sizhui said: "It's not…"

Lan Wangji said: "He led them."

Wei Wuxian wanted to pat Lan Sizhui's shoulder, but there was nowhere to reach. He paused, slid his hand underneath, and patted him from below. "I knew it."

He walked a circle in front of the boys, glanced over a few, did a quick check, and said to Lan Jingyi: "The characters. Sloppy."

Lan Jingyi, biting his forehead band, mumbled through tears: "Yes. Han Guang-jun. I'll redo this one."

The ones not called out had passed inspection and collectively exhaled. The two of them left the corridor. Wei Wuxian, remembering his own miserable punishment-copying days, felt a kinship in suffering. "Just holding this position is hard enough. If you made me do a handstand I probably couldn't even write. Even sitting down I couldn't necessarily write neatly."

Lan Wangji glanced at him. "That's true."

Wei Wuxian knew he was remembering those days of watching Wei Wuxian copy rules. "Were you punished like this when you were little?"

Lan Wangji said: "Never."

Fair enough. Lan Wangji had been the model of every noble family's children since childhood — every word, every action measured by a ruler, never a hair out of place. How could he have misbehaved? And if he never misbehaved, how could he have been punished?

Wei Wuxian laughed: "I thought that's how you got those scary arms."

Lan Wangji said: "Not punishment. But I did train that way."

Wei Wuxian, baffled: "If you weren't being punished, why would you just do handstands for fun?"

Lan Wangji said, eyes forward: "It calms the mind."

Wei Wuxian leaned close to his ear, voice lilting up at the end: "Then what on earth could make the ice-cold Han Guang-jun's heart unsteady?"

Lan Wangji looked at him, said nothing. Wei Wuxian, smug, said: "So if you've been training your arms like this since you were little, you can do anything upside down, right?"

Lan Wangji said: "Mm."

Seeing his lowered eyes, the answer almost shy, Wei Wuxian's mouth kept running: "Even with me?"

Lan Wangji said: "Try it."

Wei Wuxian: "Hahahahaha… what did you just say?"

Lan Wangji: "Tonight."

Wei Wuxian: "…"