Chapter 67

He couldn't think it through. The heat was tearing down his reason second by second, and Wen Ran couldn't understand why Gu Yunchi had done this. Along with the smashed vial, his secret method of fitting into normal society had shattered too. He had told Gu Yunchi honestly. Why hadn't he been understood?

"Why are you angry..." He shook so badly he couldn't stay upright, braced himself against the wardrobe, his breathing so ragged that even speaking was a struggle. "This is my business. What do you have to be angry about..."

Wen Ran forced the words out, looked at Gu Yunchi for a few seconds—even though he couldn't see clearly. Then he lunged forward, shoved Gu Yunchi aside, and bolted for the door.

His full effort looked utterly fragile and pitiful to Gu Yunchi. Almost nothing more than a light lift of an arm, and Wen Ran was blocked back, stumbling onto the bed, a leaf torn from its branch, able only to drift with the wind.

"Where." Gu Yunchi stood by the bed, watching the Omega curling in on himself in distress, leaned down and pulled the hand away from his face. Loosening his jaw, breathing in and out with deliberate restraint, Gu Yunchi finally spoke, his voice low. "Should've locked you up."

Better than finding out today that the way to become normal is to hurt yourself.

Because he wanted to be like everyone else, he endured pain in secret. Beneath the face of a "new life" lay an undetonated bomb. He looked like he was running fast, but only Wen Ran knew how thin the ice under his feet was—that any day it might crack and plunge him into the frozen sea.

"Don't lock me up, you can't lock me up...!" Wen Ran struggled to pull his hand back, crying out. "You smashed my suppressant, and now you want to lock me up!"

"You said before that with you I was free, that I had the right to choose!"

He'd thought Gu Yunchi had long forgotten that line. Turns out he still remembered.

"Never interfered with your choices before." Gu Yunchi tightened his grip on Wen Ran's wrist, his fingertips going white. "So you chose to die alone. Chose to live in secret. Chose to use this drug."

But how could he not understand—from past to present, Wen Ran not choosing to rely on him, not asking him for help, wasn't Wen Ran's fault. Someone driven to that shouldn't be held to account.

Afraid of losing control of his strength and hurting him, Gu Yunchi finally let go. Wen Ran immediately used both hands to wipe the tears from his face. His heat-related tear incontinence had improved a lot over the past few years, but today he couldn't stop crying in front of Gu Yunchi. It made him feel wretched and helpless, as if every piece of evidence proving he was doing fine since they'd met had been invalidated. He didn't want to be seen like this.

"Then did you do it on purpose..." The tears wouldn't stop no matter how he wiped them. Wen Ran asked between sobs, "Did you already know I was using this drug, so you came to expose me on purpose, to force me to admit it..."

Gu Yunchi pressed his lips tight. His Adam's apple moved before he said, "I wish I had known."

He lifted Wen Ran from the bed, ignoring his futile shoves and resistance, and held him completely in his arms, restraining him. Wen Ran struggled desperately but couldn't break free, and quickly lost all strength. Both arms dropped. His face buried in Gu Yunchi's chest, gasping for air, tears staining dark streaks down his shirt.

By now, with only the last shreds of consciousness left, Wen Ran understood that even if he ran out of this room he wouldn't find another way to get through the heat quickly. Only Gu Yunchi could help him.

From seven years ago until now, no matter what, Gu Yunchi had always been safe for him.

Once that conclusion settled, his will resigned itself to being consumed by the heat, leaving only instinct.

Stifling, hot. The usual pattern—one shot of suppressant and sleep through until the heat receded—had been broken. Wen Ran was used to that immediate fix, so now the wait felt unbearably, intolerably long. His hand wandered unconsciously over Gu Yunchi's waist and elbow, searching for the wristband.

Sensing that his craving for pheromones had overtaken his desire to escape, Gu Yunchi's grip loosened slightly. Wen Ran managed to lift his head, blinked to let the tears fall and clear his vision.

Through those soaked eyes he stared at Gu Yunchi blankly for a few seconds and asked, "Why are your eyes red?" He reached out to touch, found no tears, and could only say, "Don't be sad."

Gu Yunchi looked down at him. After a moment he raised his hand to cover Wen Ran's eyes, lowered his head, and pressed his forehead against the back of his own hand.

"I don't have any suppressants left." As he said it, Wen Ran unconsciously teared up again, as if he'd already forgotten how the last one had been lost. He fumbled for Gu Yunchi's wrist, took the hand soaked with his tears away from his eyes, lowered his head, and tapped the wristband urgently a few times—no result. He looked at Gu Yunchi again, his tone pleading. "Let me smell your pheromones. A few minutes is enough."

Without any hesitation, Gu Yunchi pressed down Wen Ran's trembling hand and turned the setting to the lowest.

With a beep, Alpha pheromones flooded the room, entering the body through skin and breath—almost audible, the sound of blood rushing faster because of it. Wen Ran exhaled a breath of relief and collapsed.

Gu Yunchi caught him, held him steady, and asked in a slightly hoarse voice, "When did you start using it."

"A year... a little over a year." Wen Ran sniffed at the scent on Gu Yunchi, then leaned in a little closer, as if afraid the other would suddenly leave, while still holding himself back from hugging him back.

"What reactions after using it."

"Very painful... can't lift my hands, no strength anywhere. Then I, I get nightmares, suddenly wake up while sleeping... get headaches... nothing else, nothing else."

The last sentence said twice. Gu Yunchi could picture how Wen Ran probably deceived himself like this each time—just this much, nothing else, it'll be fine, it's okay.

Gu Yunchi lowered his head, his cheek against Wen Ran's hair, and told him, "No more from now on."

"No... that won't work... then my heat will last so long, it'll affect my work, and, and..."

He cut off mid-sentence. Gu Yunchi then noticed Wen Ran's body was shaking worse and worse. He pressed Wen Ran's shoulder and pushed him back a little, saw the Omega's face go panicked and helpless, the fever-reddened lips part, and heard him say in broken fragments, "Why, your pheromones don't seem to be enough... wasn't it enough to just smell them before, why now do I feel it's not enough... am I sicker, what do I do..."

"You're not sick." Gu Yunchi gripped Wen Ran's jaw with both hands, made him look at him, and told him, "When an adult Omega is in heat, besides Alpha pheromones, they may also need a temporary mark. That's normal."

Wen Ran froze for a moment, then suddenly broke free of Gu Yunchi and scrambled back, shaking his head hard. "No, can't mark! Washing a mark is too painful, can't mark..."

The hand Gu Yunchi had been reaching toward him stopped in midair, then slowly lowered.

Didn't you say you'd forgotten—asking this now was useless, and even last time shouldn't have been asked. About the pain he had caused, if it couldn't be avoided from the start, asking about it later was no different from cruelly reopening the wound. And Wen Ran still had to cover the wound and lie to him, saying "forgot."

Only when his consciousness was clouded did he dare to open his palm, revealing a palm full of blood.

......

The marking lasted nearly a minute, until Wen Ran's breathing gradually began to ease. Gu Yunchi released his canine teeth, then slowly lifted his body, moved his right hand that was still being bitten. Only then did Wen Ran slowly open his mouth, revealing the bloody tooth mark welling up on the web between thumb and index finger.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Wen Ran hugged Gu Yunchi's waist and buried his face in his neck.

In heat, Wen Ran loved to cry, was honest, and remembered nothing—everything moved with desire. Gu Yunchi had known this seven years ago, but still couldn't confirm whether this gesture came from Wen Ran's inner instinct or from the Omega's dependence after being marked.

Undeniably, both soothed Gu Yunchi to some extent—whether the marking or the embrace.

He lifted Wen Ran and shifted his position. Wen Ran made a very soft sound through his nose, immediately found a comfortable angle, and pressed against Gu Yunchi.

"A temporary mark at least won't give you headaches or nightmares." Gu Yunchi said.

"Okay." Wen Ran's voice carried a heavy nasal tone and the dry hoarseness after crying. He admitted the mark was more effective than the injection and had no side effects, but still couldn't help adding, "But you bit my gland really hard."

Gu Yunchi touched the wound on the gland with his fingertip, confirmed it wasn't still bleeding, and asked, "More painful than a permanent mark."

"Then it's still..." Wen Ran sniffed, didn't continue answering, quietly counted for a few seconds, then said, "I haven't thought about those things for a long time."

Gu Yunchi said calmly, "Nor thought about me."

Wen Ran lifted his head to look at him at this moment, his expression somewhat struggling, as if one last shred of lucidity was still resisting. After a while, he didn't know which side had won. He lowered his head, neither confirmed nor denied, and only said, "I can't think about it."

"Why can't you think about it."

"Thinking is useless." A few drops of tears plopped onto Gu Yunchi's shirt. Wen Ran didn't cry, just simply shed tears. He stared blankly and said, "Thinking only makes me sad."

It was only after separating from Gu Yunchi that he discovered missing someone was actually a very painful thing. To avoid that pain, he'd had to train himself to pretend to forget.

Gu Yunchi wiped the tears from his face and said, "It's useful."

Those two words couldn't easily change Wen Ran's mind. He silently lay back against Gu Yunchi's neck, tears smearing on his shirt.

"Gu Yunchi." Wen Ran rested for half a minute, then suddenly spoke out of nowhere. "Smoking is bad for your health. Stop smoking."

"Anything else." Gu Yunchi answered a question with a question.

"Actually I thought about starting a breakfast shop lymph-node meat victims' alliance, but I'm afraid of retaliation from the bosses, so forget it."

"What made you think to say this at a time like this."

"I got a 10% raise last month. Zhou Zhuo advised me to move somewhere nicer, but I'm used to living here. I don't want to move."

......

Ignoring Gu Yunchi's response, Wen Ran kept chattering on his own, as if all the words he usually didn't dare say, didn't want to say, had no chance to say, could now be spoken without worry. As if he'd waited many years, alone through heat after heat, and finally had the Gu Yunchi he wanted to bother with these trivial things.

"You came to find me, and I kept hiding. Were you very angry?" Wen Ran sniffed again. "I just thought you'd leave soon, and then I'd be alone again. If that's the case, better not to start, right? Saying those unpleasant things to you—it took a lot for me to do it too."

Time after time curling himself up, disguised as a hedgehog—not to fight or repel, just feeling too lost, too afraid, too uneasy.

Gu Yunchi's hand covered the back of his neck. "If it's hard, don't say it. They really weren't pleasant to hear."

Wen Ran didn't answer. He closed his eyes, and his breathing became even.

Thinking he was asleep, after ten-odd seconds, Gu Yunchi's hand slid down Wen Ran's back to his waist, about to lift him onto the bed—but Wen Ran called out to him.

"Gu Yunchi." As if still hesitating at this moment, Wen Ran paused, then asked, "If you really like someone, do you want to marry them?"

In the bathroom, a drop of water gathered on the faucet into a weight about to fall, landed in the sink, and made a clear plop.

Gu Yunchi answered, "Yes."

Wen Ran didn't make another sound. He rubbed his eyes on Gu Yunchi's shirt twice, leaving darker wet marks, then fell completely asleep.

Taking off Wen Ran's sweater and outer pants, Gu Yunchi tucked the blanket over him, then went to the bathroom, wrung out a towel, and wiped the tear tracks from Wen Ran's face.

Hand braced on the bed, looking at the Omega for a long time, Gu Yunchi lowered his body further and kissed Wen Ran's forehead.

Then he hung the towel back in place, opened the door, and walked out.

In the corridor, two bodyguards stood one on each side, guarding an Alpha who had been bound and gagged.

Zhou Zhuo squatted on the stairs, glaring viciously at Gu Yunchi from the moment he walked out—especially seeing Gu Yunchi's badly wrinkled shirt stained with unclear marks, even more furious. He made muffled roaring sounds from his mouth, tried to stand several times, and was immediately pressed back down by the bodyguards gripping his shoulders.

Gu Yunchi stood in front of Zhou Zhuo, looked at him for a few seconds, then took out his military officer ID, opened it, and lowered his hand to present it in front of Zhou Zhuo's eyes. Once Zhou Zhuo had seen it clearly, he took it back.

The bodyguards removed the gag from Zhou Zhuo's mouth. Zhou Zhuo spat twice, his throat parched, swallowed a few times before recovering, and lifted his head gasping, "You're Gu Yunchi?"

"You know me."

"I know you. So what, a military officer is impressive? A military officer can do whatever he wants when an Omega is in heat?" Zhou Zhuo said irritably, but still somewhat relieved, and reluctantly added, "At the beginning of the year, a group of us from the bar went hiking and passed some kind of wishing wall. Li Shu said he wanted to write a plaque and hang it. I thought he'd write 'get rich soon,' so I tried to secretly take a photo to mock him—but I saw he wrote your name. I wouldn't mistake his ugly handwriting."

Zhou Zhuo gritted his teeth. "I usually read some military news, knew you're the commander of the Northern War Zone. At the time I thought Li Shu was your fan, secretly in love with you. Who knew you two actually knew each other... Or did you just meet at the bar the day before yesterday?"

"Engaged." Gu Yunchi asked, "What did he write."

Startled by the word "engaged" into brain atrophy and severe tinnitus, Zhou Zhuo could barely hear his own voice when speaking, relying entirely on memory instinct to answer in a daze, "He wrote..."

"Gu Yunchi, peace."