Chapter 82: Reason

For a moment, Tan Mo's heart stopped beating.

The ring Qiao Lan made up for him is broken.

A small piece of willow comes off between the fingers and lies quietly in the hand.

So he still shouldn't go into the luxury of not having these more permanent things, you see, but a little finger ring, only a minute old, and already it's broken off.

Tan Mo doesn't want to think about it, it's too painful, but once he does, more thoughts like this start to creep into his mind.

The broken willows are as symbolic as anything, as if they too will come to an abrupt end at some point...

Tan Mo clutched the thin wicker, and Qiao Lan, who was next to him, was startled by Tan Mo.

The senior students have high stacks of books on their desks, and the slightest dip of their heads can almost block their silhouettes. The teacher on the podium is still lecturing, and remembering the previous experience of being criticised by the homeroom teacher, Qiao Lan should have been more attentive to the lesson, but looking at Tan Mo's condition, Qiao Lan couldn't care less for the moment.

"What's wrong," Qiao Lan whispered, pressing her head down, but Tan Mo stared at her blankly, not saying anything.

Quietly, he reached out and grabbed Tan Mo's wrist, forcefully yanking Tan Mo's hand over and then breaking the firmly clenched fingers one by one, finally seeing the small willow that had been pinched and twisted and had come apart.

Qiao Lan is angry and heartbroken.

Asperger syndrome not only makes people unable to read other people's minds, it also makes them overthink things, and Tan Mo doesn't feel safe.

Qiao Lan sighed and took the wicker out of Tan Mo's hand, grabbed his stiff hand and squeezed Tan Mo's finger, "It's a random wicker not a real ring, I didn't make it very tight, it's normal to break it, reach out."

Tan Mo hesitantly held out his hand and Qiao Lan rewrapped the wicker around Tan Mo's fingers, this time with great care and attention, especially at the joints.

"It's broken and we'll just put it back on," Qiao Lan said as she finally finished braiding the pinky ring, "There, our MoMo fingers look great."

Tan Mo stared down at the ring he had put back on his finger, the feeling that his heart had stopped just then finally dissipating and his heartbeat returning to normal, this time not daring to move his finger for fear of breaking it again by accident. Even though Qiao Lan had said it was nothing, Tan Mo still took it seriously, even though it was made of willow, it was in the shape of a ring, so it still had a special meaning.

The teacher standing at the lecture platform looks down and sees Qiao Lan and Tan Mo with their heads together.

These students! They think they can't see anything because they have a stack of books in the way, but in fact they can see everything clearly from the top!

The teacher turned a blind eye for a long time, but when he turned his head to see that the two were still together and wondering what they were doing, he was about to give them a few pointers when he saw Qiao Lan finally sitting up properly.

OK, forget it, let's just give it one more chance.

Qiao Lan resumed listening attentively to the lecture. Tan Mo stared at the ring on his hand for a while before carefully removing it from his finger, and when it was finally removed intact Tan Mo sighed with relief and opened a thick leather book and slipped it inside.

That's fine.

Either way, it won't disconnect again.

Qiao Lan usually goes to Tan Mo's house on weekends, but this week, coincidentally, it was her dorm mate's birthday.

The eight girls in Qiao Lan's dormitory have their own cliques, but apart from Xiang Xiaohan, we all have a good relationship.

Senior year birthdays are usually bar mitzvah birthdays, and girls have always been ritualistic, so this birthday still needs to be celebrated properly, even Bai Yu stayed over the weekend and didn't go home.

The ten or so girls went to dinner together, and finally Bai Yu suggested a sing-along, so Qiao Lan, who had planned to go home, couldn't make it to Tan Mo's house.

It was hard to wait for the weekend at Tan Mo, but I didn't even get to meet my girlfriend.

Tan Mo was as grumpy as he could be by the time he got to the free sparring session that day.

The coach was torn for a long time asking him tentatively, "What's the matter here, the girl you like is with someone else?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he received a murderous, vicious eye from Tan Mo.

Coach: "...... Sorry it was my bad mouth."

The coach instantly conceded that it wasn't the horrible look on your face and combined with Tan Mo's earlier comment, the coach thought of this first.

Tan Mo took a deep breath and spoke stiffly, "We're together."

Coach: "Oh, congratulations...??? Together??"

Didn't they say it would be impossible to be together for life? Didn't they say it would be impossible to catch up for the rest of your life?

And why the expressions when you're already together?

But the coach didn't have the guts to ask anymore, and Tan Mo didn't seem to have the desire to talk about it. When Uncle Chan came to pick her up in the evening, Uncle Chan cheerfully gossiped with the coach without minding, "The little girl went with her roommate for his birthday and didn't accompany him, so she's having a row."

The coach, who is almost 30 years old, was speechless when he saw Tan Mo again. Tan Mo, who was always so cold and mature, ended up falling out for this reason, and the coach sighed from the bottom of his heart that he was still a teenager.

"Tan Mo had an exceptionally unhappy weekend and was not in a much better mood when classes resumed on Monday.

The countdown timer hanging at the front of the classroom is getting smaller every day, the class teacher is pointing at it every day and yelling that time is running out, the students are lamenting that time is going too fast and only Tan Mo wishes it could go faster.

The idea of graduating quickly and having a three-month holiday after graduation is something Tan Mo would love to think about.

The uncomfortable school life continued, interspersed with the occasional bit that made him feel slightly better, such as his speculation.

Tan Mo was introduced to stock speculation by Qiao Lan, and found it to be very interesting and the more he studied it, the more interesting it became.

I lost a little bit of money at the beginning, but Tan Mo hardly lost any money after that.

He also bought a small share with Qiao Lan's card money, having promised Qiao Lan that any profit would be Qiao Lan's and any loss would be his, and it was this small share bought with Qiao Lan's money that has been gaining momentum of late. Tan Mo used almost $10,000 of Qiao Lan's money, which is now long overdue for a zero.

Tan Mo decided not to tell Qiao Lan the good news for the time being, after all, the stock still had potential and she could wait until everything had settled down after graduation before giving her a little surprise.

Emotionally, Tan Mo is temporarily unfulfilled in one way or another, and Tan Mo has to divert his mind a little to feel better, for example, with his stock trading and boxing, but despite this, Tan Mo does not sleep particularly well at night.

Tan Mo told himself over and over again that it was not Qiao Lan's problem, but his own psychological problem, because he was always different from others, he could not demand Qiao Lan with his own sick needs and desires, and Qiao Lan would not like him that way.

Qiao Lan wouldn't like him like this, Qiao Lan wouldn't like him like that, there are many things he does that Qiao Lan would definitely not like.

The more he thought about it, the more desperate Tan Mo became, unable to find anything good about himself that was worth liking.

Tan Mo had insomnia for two nights in a row, which caused Tan Mo, who is always in good spirits, to fall asleep during class.

The teachers never bothered Tan Mo, but Qiao Lan had to, and Qiao Lan had never seen Tan Mo sleep during class.

Qiao Lan reached out to shake Tan Mo's hand when the teacher wasn't looking.

It is cool, not hot.

No fever no illness.

Tan Mo woke up and grabbed Qiao Lan's hand with the opposite hand. Qiao Lan glanced at the teacher and asked him in a whisper, "What's wrong with you, are you unwell?"

No, Tan Mo shakes his head.

Just miss you so much.

Even when you are sitting next to me and holding my hand, I still feel like I miss you.

Qiao Lan, looking at Tan Mo's face, suddenly wanted to touch his face, but Tan Mo was still holding her hand, Qiao Lan was about to pull her hand out, but Tan Mo suddenly grabbed her tighter.

"Qiao Lan ."

"Hmm?"

Qiao Lan froze, for Tan Mo had never called her by her name so seriously and directly.

"What's wrong," Qiao Lan said softly.

I've always wanted to ask you a question, ever since we were together, but at that time he didn't dare because it was so hard to be together and he was afraid that if he asked Qiao Lan he might regret it.

They started off too fantastically, with his uncontrollable kisses, so that everything went out of control, they didn't say anything, he didn't say he liked Qiao Lan, Qiao Lan never said why she kissed him back or why she was with him, it just came naturally. He sometimes wondered if Qiao Lan had just been confused and hadn't thought things through, and when she finally did, it would be time for them to part.

So Tan Mo always wanted her to stay this confused, to stay this way and not think clearly about why.

That's clearly what I thought when we were just together, even if we stayed confused, as long as we were together.

But only a few days had passed and he had become unsatisfied, he had become bold enough to want to ask exactly why.

Tan Mo are you not afraid, he asked himself in his heart, why should he ask, why can't he just pretend that he doesn't know anything and nothing has happened, why should he not be satisfied when he is already together, is it really that important to have all those so-called whys?

As it turns out, there is always something.

In love, everyone likes to ask why, to get to the bottom of things, and sometimes even if the answer is not so good, they always want to ask for clarity and understanding.

So, with a firm grip on Qiao Lan's hand, Tan Mo suppressed his frantic beating heart and spoke in a deep voice.

"Why on earth did you..."

Tan Mo paused before finally finishing the whole sentence with difficulty.

"Why should I stay with me."

Author's Note: Teacher: So why do you always have to discuss these issues during class?