Chapter 68: 第 68 章

Friday evening, Xu Ze picked up Lu Heyang's call. He said hello, but Lu Heyang, unusually, said nothing. Xu Ze asked, a thread of worry in his voice: 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' Lu Heyang's voice sounded as it always did. 'Are you free this weekend?'

Xu Ze answered without thinking: 'I'm free.'

'I'll come get you tomorrow afternoon.'

He didn't ask where they were going or what for; what Xu Ze wanted to know was: 'Are you back in the country?'

'Mm. Arrived in the small hours.'

'All right.' Xu Ze thought for a moment, then asked, 'Do I need to prepare anything?'

'No need. Tomorrow I'll have them send dinner over early. After you eat, take a shower, and just wait for me at home.'

'Okay.'

Saturday morning Xu Ze went to the Sanatorium to see Ye Yunhua. On learning that Xu Ze planned to sell the house, Zhou Zhen looked as though he wanted to say something and then didn't, and finally managed only, 'It's all right, no rush' — which Xu Ze took as comfort.

Coming back from the Sanatorium, Xu Ze read and worked problems according to his usual schedule, but his heart stayed light the whole time, simply because he would see Lu Heyang. And today happened to be his birthday. Xu Ze didn't think Lu Heyang would remember his birthday, so he took it for coincidence — a coincidence that felt, to him, like a gift.

As evening drew near, Xu Ze had eaten and bathed, working through a test paper while waiting for Lu Heyang. It was probably the least seriously he had ever studied.

A little past five, the world outside still bright. A soft ding — a message, an unknown number: Come downstairs.

Xu Ze was on his feet at once, unplugged his Mobile Phone, grabbed his keys, and ran out the door. Lu Heyang's car stood under a tree across from the entrance to the stairwell, the passenger window rolled down. Lu Heyang tilted his head toward Xu Ze, neither smiling nor wearing any other expression, simply looking. Xu Ze stopped short, standing at the top of the stairs.

The surroundings were very still — birdsong, the rustle of leaves — and after several seconds Lu Heyang at last let a faint smile cross his face. 'Stop spacing out.'

Xu Ze wasn't spacing out. He was thinking, thinking about things with no beginning and no reason.

He walked over and got in the car, buckled his seatbelt. Lu Heyang said nothing more, started the engine, and pulled out. After a block, Lu Heyang glanced at the rearview mirror, then suddenly swung the wheel left into a narrow lane, heading deeper into the residential quarter.

Xu Ze might not have known every road in the Old Town that well; rather than puzzling out why Lu Heyang had done this, he was more worried about scraping the car.

After winding through the tangled, cramped hutong lanes for over twenty minutes, Lu Heyang pulled the car to the side of the road by the back gate of a small compound, undid his seatbelt, pressed the back of his hand briefly against the side of Xu Ze's neck, and said, 'Get out.'

Xu Ze got out. The moment he closed the door, Lu Heyang caught his hand and pulled him running into a nearby alley.

Wind blew past their ears, puffing out both their T-shirts. Xu Ze thought of the first time he had seen Lu Heyang at the Underground Club — how, after they had knocked over those mugging Alphas, they had run together through an alley just like this. Back then he had still been Number 17.

Through a long alley, the intersection opened onto a little shop; a black SUV stood parked in front of it, an Alpha leaning against the car — He Wei, of all people.

Seeing the surprise on Xu Ze's face, He Wei — visibly much thinner — produced a steady smile. 'It's nothing. Just went on a hunger strike for three days, that's all.'

'Is everything in the car?' Lu Heyang let go of Xu Ze's hand and asked.

'All stuffed in.' He Wei's face fell at once. 'If my dad and Uncle Lu find out, I'll drop dead on the spot.'

'Then you're very brave,' Lu Heyang said.

'Our little Ze.' He Wei reached out and pulled Xu Ze into a hug. 'I'm not going back to school, so I probably won't get many chances to see you. Think of me often, wifey.'

Then, like some poor wretch who'd been cuckolded by Lu Heyang, he asked in a wretched voice, 'Where exactly are you taking my wife? Why does it feel like an elopement? Will you come back?'

Lu Heyang opened the passenger door for Xu Ze; once Xu Ze was seated, he shut the door, walked around the front of the car, and climbed into the driver's seat. Before pulling the driver's door shut, Lu Heyang looked at He Wei and, with a sudden smile, said, 'Who knows.'

The car pulled away, threading outward from between the residential blocks of the Old Town, running into the sunset along the broad suburban avenue. Xu Ze watched Lu Heyang's profile and noticed that the corner of his mouth carried a smile — the same smile he had seen at seven years old, the one that stirred Xu Ze's most primal flutter, a little wicked, a little boyish.

So Xu Ze smiled too. The wind of the open country rolled into the car, and he felt happy — the kind of happiness that, years later, when he recalled this moment, this scene, would still make him smile.

By the time they reached the Mountain Road the sun had not yet set. The car wound upward along a mountainside with forest on one flank and sea on the other. Xu Ze pressed against the window, watching the half-disc of the sun drowning in the distant sea horizon, trying to fix every frame, every image of the journey in his memory.

When only a strip of dying sun remained along the horizon, Lu Heyang turned the car onto a small road beside the Mountain Peak, threaded through the Forest Area, and stopped beneath a tree.

He got out; Xu Ze followed. Lu Heyang opened the trunk and began lifting things out, saying to Xu Ze as he did, 'Go on ahead and look.'

Xu Ze pulled back the hand that had wanted to help, listened to him, and walked forward. Pushing aside the branch in front of him, stepping out of the brush, Xu Ze saw a stretch of level grass; at its far edge was a cliff, below the cliff the sea, and beyond the sea the Capital City with its lights strung out in an unbroken chain. He could hear the surge of the tide and the long wail of ship horns from the Port.

'Came here camping with He Wei and Yun Chi a few years back.' Lu Heyang stepped out from the trees and tossed the gear onto the ground.

Xu Ze went over to help him unpack. After a moment's thought, he said, 'It must have been fun.'

'It was,' Lu Heyang said, taking out the tent poles, 'until we noticed at least a dozen bodyguards in the woods around us.'

Xu Ze started, glanced back toward the trees behind him. Lu Heyang set up a lantern, lit it; the warm light caught a small smile on his face. He hung the lantern on the standing rack and said, 'Don't be afraid — didn't we shake them off before?'

He wasn't afraid. Xu Ze was only thinking how rarely Lu Heyang mentioned anything about his family; in some sense, he actually knew nothing about Lu Heyang and could only make vague guesses based on the experiences of He Wei and Gu Yunchi.

The tent went up quickly. The mountain at night was cool. Lu Heyang carried two folding recliners to the front of the tent and handed Xu Ze a shirt: 'There might be insects.'

They sat down in the chairs, the sea and the city spread out beneath their feet, the lighthouse at the distant Port shining very bright. Xu Ze buried his nose in the shirt's collar — no Lu Heyang Pheromone, only a very faint scent.

'The shirt is He Wei's,' Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze blinked, sat up straight, and looked at him; an 'Eh?' of surprise escaped him. Lu Heyang smiled again, opened a bottle of mineral water, and handed it to Xu Ze. 'Tricked you. It's mine.'

'All right.' Xu Ze had no self-awareness of having been tricked; instead he felt steadied, and leaned back into the chair.

'The scenery here is even better after it snows. We could come see the snow in winter.' Lu Heyang pointed to the mountain on the left. 'There's an open-air Ski Resort over there. We could go skiing, too.'

'I've never been skiing.' Xu Ze was quiet for a moment, then answered. What he really wanted to ask was, 'will we still be together when winter comes,' but the answer was too obvious — there was no need to ask.

'I'll teach you.'

Xu Ze tried to picture it, but scenes that had never happened and never would happen were bound to refuse to be imagined. He slid his left hand out of the sleeve, across the armrest, and touched the back of Lu Heyang's hand. Lu Heyang turned his palm upward, pressed it against Xu Ze's palm, and their fingers interlaced.

They sat in silence, listening to the wind and the waves. Xu Ze's head tilted slightly, his eyes half-closed from the ease of it; he rarely had moments when he could breathe freely, even though many problems still awaited solving, and even though such a moment might belong only to tonight.

Later he closed his eyes entirely and drifted into a drowsy sleep. Xu Ze realized he always fell asleep quickly beside Lu Heyang — and this time, Lu Heyang probably would not leave while he slept, would not abandon him alone on the mountain.

But in truth, even if Lu Heyang did abandon him, Xu Ze would not have minded in the slightest.

Somewhere between dream and waking, something seemed to brush his forehead. Xu Ze instinctively tightened his grip on Lu Heyang's hand. He opened his eyes and saw that the moon had risen at some unknown hour, round and bright, casting the whole night sky into an expanse at once vast and remote.

'Awake?' Lu Heyang tilted his head, very close to Xu Ze.

Xu Ze drifted for two seconds, then nodded. 'How long did I sleep?'

'A little over an hour.'

'...' Xu Ze's expression turned faintly rueful. He straightened his head and said softly, 'I only meant to rest for a moment.'

'Sitting in the car that long, of course you'd be tired.' Lu Heyang said, 'You didn't do anything wrong. Stop always second-guessing yourself.'

That sentence promptly sent Xu Ze into a fresh round of second-guessing — second-guessing whether he really was always second-guessing. Lu Heyang watched him for a moment, then dragged his thumb lightly across Xu Ze's palm. 'Stop.'

Xu Ze stopped, and looked at Lu Heyang without thinking of anything at all.

Lu Heyang stood, took Xu Ze's hand, and led him in another direction. As they passed the tent he bent down and lifted something from the gear bag; Xu Ze couldn't make out what it was.

They walked along a small path for over ten minutes, then stepped out of the trees, and Xu Ze saw a lake — the bright moonlight casting a rippling shimmer across its surface.

On the Beach by the Lake Shore, Lu Heyang set the thing down and began to unpack it.

'Setting fire in the mountains isn't right — don't learn that.' Lu Heyang pressed the lighter. 'But by the lake, if anything goes wrong, you can put it out in time.'

What he said Xu Ze didn't really hear clearly — only the crisp click of the lighter catching and the hiss of the fuse burning.

Silver-white light burst from the ground up to chest height, like a shimmering bouquet, illuminating Xu Ze's face beneath the deep blue night. He seemed not to have reacted, or perhaps was utterly focused — motionless, watching the Croissant, his eyes unusually bright.

A long time later Xu Ze lifted his gaze, his sight passing through the Croissant to land on Lu Heyang's face. In that moment he was certain: Lu Heyang remembered his birthday.

He hadn't celebrated a birthday since the age of seven. He had never imagined anyone would take him away from every watching eye, flee the city, elope into the silent Forest Area, and set off a Croissant for him by the moonlit Lake Shore — and that person was Lu Heyang. How could it be.

Xu Ze suddenly closed his eyes. He had a wish to make.

There was nothing particular he wanted, really. Xu Ze only hoped his grandmother could get better — and Lu Heyang—

He opened his eyes and met Lu Heyang's gaze. The Croissant was slowly going out.

Lu Heyang smiled at him and said nothing.

After the Croissant had burned out, he set it in the lake to soak, repacked it into the bag and brought it back to the campsite. Lu Heyang washed his hands with bottled water, then lay down in the tent with Xu Ze.

Moonlight filtered in through the mesh at the top. Xu Ze gazed at the sky — gazed and gazed — and a pale golden light slid across the tent.

'Is that a shooting star?' Xu Ze asked.

'Probably a firefly,' Lu Heyang answered.

As the words fell, another light drifted slowly past — a firefly.

'A firefly,' Xu Ze repeated the correct answer.

Lu Heyang asked him, 'Did you make a wish just now?'

'I did.'

'What did you wish for?'

Rather than being superstitious about the legend that 'a wish spoken aloud won't come true,' Xu Ze was clearly more superstitious about Lu Heyang. He blinked once and answered truthfully: 'I hope my grandmother is healthy.'

'Anything else?'

'There is.'

'I wish you freedom.' Xu Ze turned his head; frost-like moonlight fell on both their profiles. Xu Ze looked into Lu Heyang's eyes, so close, and said, 'I wish you freedom.'

The next day Xu Ze woke unusually late. No one beside him — he sat up with a start.

Lu Heyang had finished packing the toiletries. Turning around, he saw Xu Ze's head poking out of the tent — hair a mess, sleep still on his face, but his eyes were clear; the moment their gazes met, it was obvious Xu Ze had exhaled in relief.

'I just got up too.' Lu Heyang handed Xu Ze a travel kit.

Xu Ze took it, still looking at him. Lu Heyang smiled, reached out and tousled Xu Ze's hair even more, and said to him, 'Happy eighteenth birthday.'

Some people's growing up begins at adulthood, or at graduation — but Xu Ze's must have begun earlier. Perhaps the day he lost his father at seven, perhaps the first night he stepped into a boxing ring. No sense of ceremony, just an abrupt, hard shove from fate.

Xu Ze's expression went a little blank, then he said, 'Thank you.'

The first day of eighteen, Xu Ze spent with an unprecedented idleness. After packing up the tent in the morning, Lu Heyang took him to a Mansion halfway up the mountain with a view of the sea. Xu Ze saw no one there, but the dining table held breakfast that had just been made.

After breakfast, Lu Heyang took a call. Xu Ze stood in the living room watching that clock with its black face and white hands, waited for the second hand to circle three times, and then heard Lu Heyang's footsteps coming in.

'There's a pool table over there — want to play pool, or watch a movie?'

Having already played pool with Lu Heyang, Xu Ze chose something they hadn't done together: 'Watch a movie — is that okay?'

'Mm.'

Fresh fruit and drinks were already set out on the coffee table in the theater. The sofa was large and soft. Lu Heyang handed the tablet to Xu Ze: 'Pick whatever you want to watch.'

Xu Ze had pitifully little entertainment in his life — he didn't know which film was the biggest box office hit, which lead actor was currently at the peak of his fame. He flipped through aimlessly for a while, then asked, 'Is this one okay?'

Lu Heyang had already put on a U-shaped neck pillow. He looked at the polar bear documentary on the screen, wondering where Xu Ze had dug it out from.

'If you want to watch it, you can. You don't need my permission.'

Xu Ze nodded and pressed play. Once the film began, the room lights gradually dimmed. Xu Ze felt Lu Heyang lean against his shoulder.

The screen was a vast white, so clean it seemed to breathe out cold air. Lu Heyang's breathing grew long and even. Xu Ze turned his head; the screen's light fell in bright and dim patches across Lu Heyang's face. Xu Ze watched him, his gaze slowly tracing every line.

He thought: if Lu Heyang lived with someone in the future, it might be just like this — and that would be good.

Xu Ze lowered his head. He had originally meant to kiss Lu Heyang's forehead, but afraid of waking him, in the end only kissed his hair.

They ate lunch very late, nearly two o'clock — the hottest part of the day. Looking out through the restaurant's glass wall, they could see the sea, dazzlingly bright. Xu Ze gazed for a long time, then turned back to look at the clock on the wall.

Lu Heyang remained calm throughout. After lunch he took Xu Ze to sit on the living room carpet, handed him a controller, and played games with him. Xu Ze lost again and again, his gaze seeming to have no anchor, frequently glancing up at the clock during the game.

The last level ended. In the game music, Xu Ze stared blankly at the second hand moving ceaselessly. He heard Lu Heyang say, 'Let's go.'

'Okay.'

As when they came, they did not speak on the way back — backs to the setting sun, returning toward the city they had left a day before. Wind poured into the car, making Xu Ze a little breathless; he closed the window tight.

Halfway there, Lu Heyang slowed the car. Xu Ze saw a bodyguard vehicle parked not far ahead, and the Alpha standing beside it was one of the bodyguards who had been with him recently.

'Get out,' Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze nodded, opened the door, and stepped out. The wind was too strong, making his clothes flap violently. Xu Ze walked a few steps, turned back, and saw Lu Heyang had also gotten out.

'I originally wanted to take you gliding, but the people at the Underground Club told me the wind's too strong today — not suitable.' Lu Heyang smiled faintly. 'We'll have to wait for next time.'

Xu Ze nodded again, as if nodding were the only thing he knew. Summer was nearing its end, but the afternoon temperature was still very high. Xu Ze felt drained of strength; he clenched his fist and found his fingertips ice-cold.

'Will you be gone a long time this time?' he finally asked.

'Maybe a bit longer.'

'Okay.' Xu Ze nodded for the third time. 'I'll wait for you.'

Lu Heyang still stood a meter away, looking at Xu Ze. 'It's fine if you don't wait.'

Xu Ze's Adam's apple moved. Rare for him, he insisted, 'I will wait.'

It didn't matter if he couldn't wait to ski together in winter; it didn't matter if he couldn't wait for the next gliding — as long as he could wait until they met again, he was willing to wait however long it took.

'Mm.' Lu Heyang smiled again. 'Get in the car.'

Xu Ze curled his fingers tight, said 'okay,' then turned and walked toward the bodyguard car. Before getting in, he held the car door and looked back at Lu Heyang for several seconds, then sat in the passenger seat.

The car started moving. Xu Ze stared motionlessly at the rearview mirror. After they had driven some distance, he suddenly turned sideways, propped his hand on the window, and leaned his head out to look back. Lu Heyang still stood in place, beside that black SUV, the sunset behind him like a torch, burning red across half the sky and the empty fields.

No wave of farewell, no loud goodbye — they simply exchanged another glance across the distance between them.

Xu Ze slowly sat back in the seat, looked at the center console — the screen displayed exactly the time Lu Heyang had come to pick him up yesterday.