Chapter 64: 救赎

Shi Qi opened her eyes.

Her fingers curled unconsciously, as if trying to hold onto something.

'Hug me, Shi Qi.'

That sentence was like a curse. A slow pain spread from her heart, a crushing mix of sorrow and heartache.

She finally remembered: Shang Sui had once revealed his greatest secret to her.

He had looked at her anxiously, afraid that his innate ability would disgust her.

When Shi Qi regained awareness, her arms opened of their own accord.

'It's so magical, but...'

Amazed, she threw her arms around Shang Sui. 'Hugging you isn't because of Mind Manipulation. I wanted to hug you anyway.'

The Alpha, much taller than her, froze in place, motionless. A moment later, he slowly reached out and carefully hugged her back.

The embrace lasted a long time. She couldn't see Shang Sui's face, only remembered the light from the lamp on the nightstand, scattering like a thin mist.

To this day, she clearly remembered that glass and brass lamp was shaped like a Lily of the Valley, its glossy petals shimmering.

After a long while, a sudden warmth and dampness touched her arm.

Tears fell on her skin with a peculiar quietness, like melting snowflakes.

'Shang Sui,' Shi Qi asked, dazed, 'are you crying?'

……

……

Shi Qi covered her eyes with the back of her hand.

Was Shang Sui still using Mind Manipulation on her?

Otherwise, why did her heart still ache with a dull, unstoppable pain after all these years?

Her eyes stung, the tip of her nose flushed red. As she went downstairs, Jiang Yoning called out to her excitedly. 'Xiao Qi! I have something for you—'

Jiang Yoning's voice suddenly rose. 'Who bullied you?!'

'It's nothing, just a dream,' Shi Qi said, her voice muffled. 'What did you want to give me?'

Jiang Yoning looked at her suspiciously, then reconsidered. Shi Qi wasn't the type to suffer in silence. Reassured, she said, 'Your old diary. I accidentally packed it when I was putting away the Album. There's also a package from the Capital City, sender is the Ningshan Art Gallery.'

'Art Gallery?'

'A big one, looks like a painting,' Jiang Yoning said. 'That Art Exhibition we saw before was held in Ningshan. Ask Shang Sui? He might know.'

Taking the two items from Jiang Yoning, Shi Qi first glanced at the blue-backed, yellow-patterned notebook, confirming it was her diary from when she was fourteen or fifteen.

She had taken this diary to Qi Jiang back then, and flipped through it many times trying to recover her memories, but found nothing.

Shi Qi's attention was wholly on the package. She set the diary aside for now.

The painting was in a custom cardboard box, wrapped very securely. She peeled away the layers of inner and outer bubble wrap, removed the final sheet of acid-free glassine paper, and a layered vista of bright and somber colors met her eyes.

An angel perched on the windowsill; a monster lurked in a corner of the room, peering out.

When they saw the exhibition, noticing she liked this painting, Shang Sui had said he could give it to her.

Just like back then, a strange feeling welled up in her, as if this painting had always been hers.

The pure white marble balcony, the pale green curtains, the distressed pink wall...

The more Shi Qi looked, the more familiar it seemed. Unbidden images surfaced in her mind.

Her teenage self, sitting on the balcony, watching Shang Sui paint.

The angel was bathed in a holy halo, wings outstretched, landing on the balcony as if by miracle.

His features were blurred, lacking a clear face, yet it did nothing to diminish the dazzling beauty.

As for the other thing...

'What is this thing,' Shi Qi said, looking at the irregular geometric shape on the canvas, fluorescent-colored foul blood flowing from its body, making that monster-like form seem to scream. 'So ugly.'

'……'

'What's wrong?'

'I wanted to give it to you,' Shang Sui said softly. 'If you don't like it, forget it.'

'Wait!' Shi Qi changed her tune. 'Actually, it's not ugly. It has character. At least I'll remember it at a glance.'

Shang Sui hummed. 'Good for warding off evil.'

Shi Qi fell silent for three seconds, then reached out and grabbed the hem of his shirt.

She sometimes used this same tactic when she wanted something from Jiang Yoning. Without much thought, Shi Qi shook his sleeve pleadingly. 'Give it to me, gege. I want your painting.'

Shang Sui's hand jerked. The paintbrush fell to the floor with a crisp clatter.

'Your brush dropped,' Shi Qi kindly reminded him.

Seeing Shang Sui frozen, she asked, puzzled, 'Why is your face red?'

Shang Sui came back to himself, his tone ambiguous. 'You really are...'

Belatedly, Shi Qi realized her behavior might have been too intimate. She snatched her hand back, her ears burning.

Her gaze darted around, landing on the painting again.

Having noticed the balcony, curtains, and wall color all matched reality, she asked hesitantly, 'Is this you? Then... the angel is me?'

Even though she was used to others praising her, she couldn't help feeling Shang Sui was exaggerating.

'Why do you like making yourself ugly, only painting me beautifully?'

'That's just how it is,' Shang Sui said quietly.

Knowing who the 'monster' in the painting was, Shi Qi found it more and more pleasing. Its hideous exterior seemed clumsy and cute.

'It's settled, this painting is mine,' she said, her eyes curving. 'I'll trade with you.'

The next evening, Shang Sui received a painting.

That doodle-like scribble was deliberately placed on top of the oil painting easel, covering his work, like a kitten triumphantly leaving its paw print.

Shi Qi hid in a corner of the balcony watching his reaction. After a long while, she saw a smile appear in Shang Sui's eyes as he carefully put the scribble away.

She wanted to remember what exactly she had drawn, but the flashback in her mind cut off abruptly.

Shi Qi snapped out of the memory and instinctively shook her head.

That painting she'd given away... where would Shang Sui have put it?

Thinking of Shang Sui specifically mailing the oil painting to her, Shi Qi had a feeling. She turned it over.

The wooden backing of the frame was secured by four metal strips. Shi Qi found a Phillips screwdriver and unscrewed the screws on each strip, one by one.

Afraid of damaging the painting, she carefully pried the backing away. A thin sheet of sketch paper slipped out from inside. It had been preserved well; even after six years, the edges showed no yellowing.

So it was here.

Shi Qi picked it up with mixed feelings, her gaze suddenly freezing.

It was a colorful crayon doodle, the lines very childish. The artist had clearly tried their hardest to recreate the scene, and one could see it was the same setting as the oil painting.

There were two people in the drawing.

One had something on their back that looked like freshly fried chicken; Shi Qi decided to consider them angel wings. The other wore a crown.

Both stick figures had emphatically drawn smiley faces, looking very happy.

Below the drawing was a line of fluid handwriting. Compared to the childish doodle, the elegant, beautiful script was like decoration. Shi Qi recognized her own writing at a glance:

[This is my painting, traded with you.]

[During the Thousand Lantern Festival, my wish was for you to have an easier time. You always seemed unhappy.

But I know now, if you've been through those things, no one could be happy every day. You're already amazing, doing really, really well.

Running into your house that day by accident was like a fairy tale.

To me, you're not a monster. You're a beautiful prince.]

The tears she had been holding back finally fell uncontrollably, dampening the edge of the drawing paper.

'Xiao Qi, Jiang Yoning said you were in your room—'

A familiar voice came from the doorway. Shi Qi hadn't locked the door. Shang Sui knocked tentatively, then pushed it open.

He saw Shi Qi sitting by the bay window, the dismantled frame beside her. The wind lifted the pure white curtains, blurring her expression.

Shang Sui abruptly stopped.

'Six years ago, you came to find me one last time,' Shi Qi looked up, and only then did Shang Sui see the tears gathered in her eyes. 'Right?'

Three months ago, after the Dance Competition, Shang Sui had also given her a painting, joking that she shouldn't throw it away.

She had thought it was just an offhand remark, never imagining it was a request he hadn't dared to make explicit.

The fact that this painting of an angel and monster had made its way back to Shang Sui meant he had come looking for her.

The night of her Differentiation, her family had rushed her to the hospital, and they returned to the Capital City the next day. She had been unconscious the whole time, so naturally no one knew the painting was a gift from Shang Sui.

The end six years ago wasn't simply unanswered calls. After his Sensitivity Period ended, Shang Sui found their rented house empty, only a forgotten painting left behind. That was when he truly lost heart and chose not to disturb her again.

That day was only half a month after Shang Sui had told her his secret about Mind Manipulation.

Back then, Shang Sui must have thought she had discarded the painting, and abandoned him along with it.

'Didn't you resent me back then?' Shi Qi's thoughts were chaotic, her words tumbling out. 'You told me your secret, but I didn't stand by you from start to finish. Didn't you think I wasn't brave enough, wasn't steadfast enough?'

Different from before, for a moment, she wished Shang Sui had been disappointed in her.

Rather than seeing her as a savior, still full of gratitude for her after their separation.

'Of course not,' Shang Sui denied immediately. 'You were so good. Just meeting you was something to be thankful for. How could I possibly resent you?'

'Whether it was the hug you gave me, or the words you wrote on the painting, to me they were unique treasures.'

'It was by relying on them, and memories of you, that I managed to walk out step by step. From the day we met, you always treated me like a normal person. You might not know how important that was to me.' He walked up to Shi Qi and gently touched her wet cheek with his thumb, wiping away some of the tears. 'Of all the people I've met, no one was braver than you.'

'You kept choosing me. Finding out about this six years late isn't too late at all.' Shang Sui cupped her face in both hands. 'I didn't get to say it before. Knowing I wasn't abandoned by you makes me so, so happy.'

The focused gaze, the intimate words, the familiar warmth of skin touching skin.

It felt like she was back in that night when Shang Sui revealed his secret, the brass Lily of the Valley lamp glowing softly as they leaned against each other.

'Of course I wouldn't abandon you,' Shi Qi said, her voice muffled. 'You were my most special friend too.'

Thinking of last night's dream, Shi Qi asked the question that worried her most. 'On the Thunderstorm Day that came later, how did you get through it? Did you still see that person?'

Confirming they'd shared the same dream last night gave Shang Sui a moment of unreality.

Coming back to himself, he looked into Shi Qi's clear eyes. 'After that summer, I never saw him again.'

He had revealed his unspeakable past to Shi Qi, and after an intimate embrace, the scar was miraculously healed.

The curse that had lingered by his ears on every Thunderstorm Day vanished. He never saw Zeng Yu again.

'Really?' Shi Qi murmured. 'That's wonderful.'

She didn't know how to express what she felt in that moment, repeating it involuntarily. 'That's so wonderful.'

As she spoke, Shi Qi's tears fell uncontrollably. She cried so hard her cheeks flushed red.

Shang Sui opened his arms and gently drew her into an embrace.

Shi Qi sobbed and leaned into him, instinctively burying her face in the crook of his neck. The familiar embrace and scent gave her an unparalleled sense of safety. Her fingers tightened involuntarily, gripping Shang Sui's shoulders hard.

'Crying like this,' Shang Sui said softly, 'like a little kitten.'

Shi Qi lifted her head. Tears blurred her vision, temporarily obscuring Shang Sui's expression.

'Why aren't you crying?' Shi Qi demanded fiercely. 'Stop laughing. You cry too.'

Shang Sui was quiet for a moment, blinking.

He seemed to be trying to work up to it, but couldn't control himself, and ended up laughing.

'?'

Shi Qi's fingers itched. For a second, she wanted to hit him.

Shang Sui laughed and pressed his forehead against hers, his voice like a dream. 'What do I do? I can't cry.'

'The thought that we're together now makes everything in the past unimportant. Being able to reunite with you, seeing you cry for me... I just feel so happy.'

'So happy,' Shang Sui said from the heart, 'I feel like I'll be struck by lightning any second.'

Shi Qi had never seen anyone curse themselves before. Several retorts rose to her lips, but in the end she only said helplessly, 'Are you an idiot? Don't think such nonsense.'

She could guess what Shang Sui was thinking.

When people are at their happiest, they can't help worrying about losing it.

'Okay,' Shang Sui replied with a smile. 'The goddess has spoken. I'll obey.'

'……'

Distracted by him, Shi Qi's sorrow dissipated somewhat.

Shang Sui, perceptive, handed her a tissue and gently wiped her tears. Once Shi Qi had calmed down a bit, she remembered he'd said the story from six years ago wasn't complete.

'What's the second half of the story?'

'The second half...' Shang Sui recalled. 'After the incident with Zeng Yu, I developed some mild psychological issues. I became withdrawn.'

'Before the official investigation results came out, the Special Sensitivity Period Regulatory Authority kept me under surveillance. They weren't friendly.'

He was frequently in and out of the psychiatric department at Ningshan Hospital back then. Staff from the Regulatory Authority followed him at a distance, twenty-four hours a day. Once, Shang Sui accidentally passed by a garden and overheard them talking behind his back:

'Does the police investigation need to take this long? Watching him every day is driving me crazy.'

'How many good ones come out of a Special Sensitivity Period? They say he's different from ordinary people, can control others.'

'You're making up stories. What kind of magical ability is that? But that kid is gloomy. He has the eyes of a murderer.'

'Shh! Keep your voice down. His surname is Shang.'

'It's been so long. Maybe his family is trying to clear his name, pull some strings, find a scapegoat.'

They spoke with conviction, speculation piling on speculation. More than anger, what he felt was numbness.

Shang Sui was about to leave when a stern woman's voice cut in. 'As Special Sensitivity Period Regulatory Authority personnel, your views on Special Sensitivity Periods are biased. Privately gossiping about a subject under surveillance and questioning the police investigation violates work discipline.'

That female detective was the second-in-command of the major crimes unit at the time. Shang Sui had only met her once, vaguely remembering her as decisive and efficient.

'I've noted your names,' the detective said, her gaze sweeping over their ID badges. 'I'll report this to the Authority.'

The staff members were terrified, apologizing profusely, but she left without looking back.

Shang Sui hesitated, then chose to follow her. As she rounded a corner, she slowed her pace, waiting for him to catch up.

Shang Sui thanked her. 'Thank you for earlier.'

'You're welcome,' she said after a moment's consideration, speaking tactfully. 'The investigation is nearing its conclusion. If you're innocent, the police will clear your name. After that, the Regulatory Authority can no longer surveil you. What happened today won't happen again.'

'She was so kind,' Shi Qi said, feeling immense gratitude toward the detective.

Shang Sui nodded. 'I was too numb back then. Thinking about it later, I was very grateful to her. She was one of the few people who showed me kindness during that whole affair.'

'Her final words were: Going through all this must have been painful. But as long as you're alive, perhaps one day you'll be able to let it go.'

'It might be a moment, an event, or a person. By the time you realize it, it will have happened naturally. The catalyst for letting go is unpredictable. Like fate.'

A spark of understanding lit in Shi Qi's heart as she heard Shang Sui continue. 'I used to think I'd never get that catalyst. I wasn't that lucky. How could something so good happen to me?'

He smiled at Shi Qi. 'The second half of the story is actually my confession.'

Six years ago, he had sensed Shi Qi's arrival was extraordinary. After experiencing several cycles of seasons, he could finally be certain: Shi Qi was that fateful catalyst.

'I hate summer. I don't like Thunderstorm Day either. It makes me think of that basement.'

'But because I met you in summer, I started having romantic impressions of the season. That dark, damp basement—I never went back.'

'You saved me. So I'll always be your friend.'

'No matter what happens, it'll always be the same.'