Chapter 160: there you go, once again

Yu He stood frozen in place.

He thought, he should have heard wrong.

"What did you say?"

"......"

But before Qingcheng Xie could say anything else, Yu He immediately interrupted him and then stammered as if to avoid something: "No, no, no ...... you, you wait for a while ...... "

"The pot is still stewing Chuanbei Snow Pear, I'll go get it for you ...... I ......"

As if a cup of Sichuan scallop sorbet, can change everything.

The teenager turned around, trying to run towards the kitchen, as if it was his shell, to escape into it without being stabbed by any sharp objects.

But Qingcheng Xie's voice came, freezing him in his tracks.

"No need, Yu He ."

"......"

"It's time for me to go back."

Qingcheng Xie and Yu He slept together many times, and many times when they woke up, they turned their faces away.

Only this time, when he put his heart into Yu He, he also hurt himself badly.

Every word that came out of his throat was a thorn in his heart, so much so that Qingcheng Xie, who was already very sick, was shivering slightly as he held on.

But Yu He couldn't see it.

After he heard Qingcheng Xie say such decisive words, he could not restrain his tears, and now his face is covered with tears, and he does not dare to turn back.

He thinks Qingcheng Xie is bullying him again.

Qingcheng Xie doesn't want him every time he's done using him, and he says everything harshly outward.

He does not know where he did not do well, he has obviously been very attentive, like boiling that pot of iced sugar sorbet, all of his feelings are boiled and stewed, as far as possible to become not difficult to eat, easy to digest, and then apprehensively held to that man.

But Qingcheng Xie says it's over.

He could never like him.

Yu He turned his back to Qingcheng Xie and opened his mouth. The first time, he couldn't make a sound, and it wasn't until the second time that he found his voice.

Raspy as hell.

"...... you, you eat the ...... pear first, and we'll talk about this, OK?"

"........."

Yu He are choked up: "You eat a little ...... you eat a little ...... okay? ...... I've been studying for a long time ......"

I've been learning for a long time.

I originally, can't do housework, can't peel fruit, don't know how to stew snow pear with rock sugar and Sichuan shellfish.

I would not have, in such a humble way, loved anyone.

Wouldn't take care of someone with such dedication.

Now I can do it all.

I've been studying for a long time, Qingcheng Xie.

Just take a taste.

Just look at me for a second.

Yu He's fingers are still wrapped in band-aids, when peeling pears cut into the hand, bleeding. But he did not care at the time, he only thought that when Qingcheng Xie woke up, he could bring him a bowl of steaming pear paste.

But Qingcheng Xie woke up, and Qingcheng Xie said he didn't want him.

Yu He's tears keep falling, he cried so sadly, but suppressed his voice, how can not let Qingcheng Xie hear, and do not want to turn back to let Qingcheng Xie see.

He finally walked into the kitchen with his head down and closed the door with a bang.

On the kitchen counter, there are also granulated sugar, sorbet cubes, and knives for cutting fruit.

Yu He packed up those things little by little, and while doing so, he silently shed tears.

In fact, this apartment, since he got the key, has never had a fire. He used to come to live by himself and was always too lazy to cook, either going out to eat or having the hotel chef make it and send it to the house.

This is the first time he opened a fire here for a person, turning the "apartment" into a "home".

But I didn't expect it to end this way.

Yu He suppressed his sobs and stood in the kitchen for a long time, trying to calm himself down, and finally washed his face again, so that Qingcheng Xie could not see that he had shed tears.

After an unknown amount of time, the kitchen door was pushed open.

Qingcheng Xie was standing outside the door, already changed his clothes. He said to him, " Yu He ."

"......"

"I'm not making this decision because I think there's something wrong with you."

"......"

"And because of myself. I really can't accept a man's liking."

Yu He dropped his eyes and stood helplessly by the sink, "...... gender ...... is that important to you?"

He lifted his eyes.

Qingcheng Xie still knew in the first instant that this child ...... had cried.

Those eyes were moist, flushed with some red, and just looked at him.

" Qingcheng Xie , are these so important?"

"......"

"More important than sincerity, is it?"

Qingcheng Xie was unable to answer.

And what can he say? He can't say, I'm sorry, Yu He , I didn't mind you being a man, in fact it's because I won't live long and I found out that I can't change your feelings for me at all, that's why I had to do it, I hope you don't waste all your youth on me.

Yu He was quiet for a while, looking at the small fire rolling on the stove top with pear soup.

He had been holding back, and this moment suddenly became unbearable.

He looked back at Qingcheng Xie and his voice trembled because of the sadness: "Do you know Qingcheng Xie? You can't find another person in this world who loves you as much as I do."

Qingcheng Xie looked at him for a long time, and he was tempted at this moment to stretch out his arms to comfort this awkward, wretched, humble but also proud young dragon.

This feeling he has for Yu He has gone from initial shock, to questioning, and then from questioning again, to his heart breaking today.

When Qingcheng Xie and Ruoqiu Li divorced, they said they had never seen and would never believe in the kind of love that flies to the flame, regardless.

It was Yu He who let him see it.

The more he saw this love clearly, the more his heart ached. Yu He was like a puppy he had overlooked on the road and threw some food to because he felt so sorry for it. He originally just wanted to maintain such a simple relationship, never thought of adopting the puppy or establishing any unnecessary intimacy with it.

But that's not how puppies think.

He waited for him obediently in that spot every day, running happily around his legs when he saw him, and he had inadvertently been tamed by him - but he knew he would never walk this path again before long, and he would never wait for the man who passed by.

What choice did he have but to never feed it any food again, or even pretend not to see it?

However, the puppy did not know that the puppy whimpered and chased after him, not understanding why he suddenly ignored him, was he too dirty? Or was it too ugly? Or is it because it is a small sick dog? So he will always just feed it a few bites, but won't hold it and can't like it.

Qingcheng Xie eventually dropped his hand.

He didn't give Yu He that hug.

He said, "I know I'm not likely to meet another person who likes me as much as you do."

Yu He's eyes widened slightly, with some faint hope flashing in them.

Qingcheng Xie did not deny his feelings.

After the separation of the teenager at the age of 14, Qingcheng Xie knew that he should not deny any of Yu He's sincerity. This is the last respect and protection he can give to Yu He.

"Yu He, I am thirty-three years old, married and divorced, have been on many dates and met countless people." Qingcheng Xie leaned against the warmth of the stove, weakly, quietly, almost gently, and Yu He spoke from the bottom of his heart, "In fact, my condition is not too good, old, poor health, do not understand, work is also busy, materially can not give others too much satisfaction. I have self-awareness."

Yu He's tears are falling again, and he shakes his head.

Qingcheng Xie is a person who almost never takes himself lightly.

He was confident and strong.

But this moment, Qingcheng Xie in front of him, almost a sigh of relief to their own shabby a, the kind of look at him soberly and calmly admitted how bad they are, but even more painful than Qingcheng Xie rejected him.

Yu He choked out, "No. ......"

"What I said is the truth." Qingcheng Xie is very calm, facing a person who treats himself with such sincerity, he can also show him his own wretchedness, "In fact, I know that a person like me, the most suitable ending is to die alone - I know I look okay, will attract I know I look okay and will attract some girls, but like and love are not the same, and love and true love are different. After my divorce from Ruoqiu Li, I was dead in the water and thought I would never get a true love again."

"But you gave me your feelings."

" Yu He , I'm sorry that I didn't believe from the beginning that you really loved me. Because you were so young and a boy, I was smart enough to think you were mistaken about your feelings, and even tried to lead you on and make you admit that it was just a dependency." Qingcheng Xie paused and coughed gently before continuing, "I know I broke your heart."

"Brother Xie ......"

"Just hear me out." Qingcheng Xie lips are pale, at the moment more than a little sickly white, "...... I know you are the best, you are the best for me. You almost have to dig out your heart for me to see, trying to make me understand your use of love."

"I've seen it all now. Yu He . I've seen it all."

The little ghost this time is really can't help it, the moisture in his eyes is getting heavier and heavier, he turned his head to the side, paused for a moment, or raised his hand to wipe his eyes.

He is really too aggravated.

The feeling of being constantly denied, constantly suppressed, constantly misunderstood, and one day finally recognized, as long as the people who have experienced it, may be able to understand that moment instead of the sour bitterness that rushed to the heart.

"It's my fault. I was too presumptuous to think I was older than you and knew more than you, and I was the one who didn't respect your feelings."

Yu He, with red almond eyes, whispered, "Thank you brother ......"

Qingcheng Xie: "Yu He, I have never met anyone who liked me as much as you do. I know I will never meet another person who likes me as much as you do. You have given me so many irreplaceable memories and feelings."

"......"

"I'm grateful."

"......"

"Really."

Qingcheng Xie said here and sighed softly.

He closed his eyes and his throat rolled.

The apology that should be made, the recognition that should be given, he finally gave Yu He.

The rest of the latter is the cruelty that must be spoken.

He said all the warmth in his heart, his chest was about to ice blockade the city ...... He slowly opened his eyes and said to Yu He, "But I still can't accept you. I can't do it."

Yu He : "You, why do you ......"

"Because I feel guilty, I feel too guilty about myself when I'm with you, I feel like all these things I've done, all the things we did last night ...... are ...... too immoral, too counter-intuitive. It's all too undeserved to happen." Qingcheng Xie forced himself to say all these words, "...... can you think about what you were doing when I was twenty years old? I was twenty years old and you were only seven. When I first met you, you were so small, you were simply a child. I was in high school when you were just born ...... The further I think about it the more ridiculous I think ...... we'll be the laughing stock of others together, do you understand?"

But Yu He looked at him with red eyes and shook his head, "I don't understand."

"......"

"Why should you bother with other people when we're both together? I could care less about anything, and I don't care what people say about me."

" Yu He ...... you shouldn't suffer that kind of torture, that feeling of being constantly talked about is very painful, you can't ......"

"I'm not afraid." Yu He said, "And you've been suffering from those things. From the moment you left the hospital, you've been suffering from that. And why can't I suffer?"

"......"

"I know you are afraid that I will be hurt in the same way, that people will laugh at me for liking the men of my uncle's generation ...... but I don't even care about them! I don't even care what other people say about me, because I know I'm not! I'm just in love with someone, and I won't change it no matter how much people criticize me."

The boy's look was stubborn and his eyes were so stubborn.

"I don't care about them, I don't care about their eyes their mouths, Qingcheng Xie , I don't care about anyone in this world, except you."

"......"

Qingcheng Xie's heart is trying its best to seal the door, but Yu He is trying to break in again and again, trying to stop the door of the ice city from closing with his flesh and blood beforehand.

Qingcheng Xie's heart was even harder to bear.

I'm in hell, so you're coming too?

Came the sea of fire can become a river of stars, the knife mountain can become Fanglin ......

He closed his eyes and said, "But I care."

Yu He : "......"

"I can't stand messing with my sister's students."

Yu He refused to die and said like a madman, "If you must care, then, I can drop out of school."

"...... It doesn't help that you dropped out of school, I can't stand being with a boy who's thirteen years younger than me."

"Then I can figure out how to change my ID."

"I can't stand to be with your dad either - with Jiwei He's son."

Yu He was getting anxious: "Then I- then I-"

Qingcheng Xie raised his hand, gently, and touched Yu He's head. He did not let Yu He say the second half of the sentence, Qingcheng Xie know that he said every sentence seems very crazy, but are true. He said to Yu He, "I understand your whole heart, but ...... I'm sorry."

"......"

"This is my final decision."

Qingcheng Xie felt that he could no longer face Yu He like this, he put his hand down, wanted to say something else, but finally did not say the words, he turned around - will leave ......

It is also in this moment.

Yu He went after him and hugged him from behind.

The hot tears that the teenager had been holding back fell on the back of Qingcheng Xie's neck, on that vermilion mole, and stared for a few seconds, weeping and sliding down.

"Brother Xie ......"

"......"

"Dr. Tse ......"

"......"

" Qingcheng Xie ......!!!"

"Are you leaving again ......" Yu He's voice was laced with an all-too-obvious choke, "Are you leaving me again ......?! "

It was a cloudy day, the light seemed so dull, through the heavy window glass spilled in, there is no half warmth. The thin, silvery, frosty glow of Yu He and Qingcheng Xie's figures gently outlined an edge, as fragile as the dewy, frozen ice on the branches in early spring, melting at the touch of a fingertip.

Qingcheng Xie was held tightly by him from behind, behind his back is hot, the back of the neck is hot, the kitchen steaming fog hot, the teenager's heart, teenager's tears, teenager for him clumsily boiled a cup of pear sweet soup, are hot.

His heart could not condense in such a temperature, woof-like, and actually blurred his own vision.

"Don't don't want me OK,Qingcheng Xie ...... you don't want me ......"

"......"

"I can't love anyone else anymore, I've given you my heart, don't you go ...... Qingcheng Xie ......"

"Don't you go ......"

Qingcheng Xie wanted to turn around and hug him more than ever.

But he knew better than ever that if he held him today, everything would never go back, and then the moment his organs failed and he died of exhaustion, Yu He would suffer even more than he does now.

The little puppy on the side of the road chased the human, not understanding why the human no longer looked at him, why he did not stop again, it broke his heart, and the whimpering voice chiseled deep into the heart of the human.

Ouch.

It really hurts.

Qingcheng Xie closed his eyes, the end of the Canglong's eyes, there was finally a tear fell - it was the last drop of warmth before his heart city fell into the ice and snow.

Tears fell on the ground, Yu He did not notice.

Qingcheng Xie said nothing more, he lifted his slightly cool hand and gently patted Yu He's hand around his waist. Then - he still broke away from his warmth and pushed the door out, walking towards the frosty and cold road.

Never looked back again.